| |
Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 9
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
Let me actually judge now
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/6/2015
Posts: 18,803
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Jackson
Let me actually judge now
|
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
|
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Thanks Pears, I think. If I had it my way, I would take you down.
|
To the river, underneath the blood orange sun?
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
|
Quote:
Originally posted by keshaspearsxo
To the river, underneath the blood orange sun?
|
Poor Demi.
But no, the parking lot of Mickey D's, where I saw you once & u were looking so fine and sipping on a sweet tea.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
|
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Poor Demi.
But no, the parking lot of Mickey D's, where I saw you once & u were looking so fine and sipping on a sweet tea.
|
Why is Sweet Tea, Sweet D better than anything you've written here?
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Citrus
Why is Sweet Tea, Sweet D better than anything you've written here?
|
lyrics are always better when they're written from experience
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Citrus
Why is Sweet Tea, Sweet D better than anything you've written here?
|
Not enough home references
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
|
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
lyrics are always better when they're written from experience
|
I wish we had been able to do a proper songwriting challenge in S2
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
|
You wanted me to win another challenge?
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
|
Quote:
|
I don't know if it's just the way the singer did it, but he's not actually singing to the same melody. It's, like, different on many lines. Maybe that's just an issue with getting somebody else to sing your song. Though still, this worked well as a song. You did well of sectioning everything and there are no awkward pauses or anything, it's very well put together. The in my eyes hook is really catchy and so are some parts of the melody, so you did really quite well since they're stuck in my head. You can almost not even tell that this was written to track! Your writing is kind of how I remember it. Rather squeaky clean pop. I can see why it got you far cause it lacks fault, but as a whole it doesn't scream impressive either. It's a well written song, but it's not a winners song. I hope you make it to the next round, if so I'd advise you to really try to step it up because the eliminations are getting harsh. What you're doing isn't bad but it's very susceptible to being overshadowed. I think you've proven yourself as a pretty good top 40 esque writer in getting to this stage but if you really wanna win now is the time to go big or go home (literally!).
|
I'm glad you liked the song  thank you. I get what you mean at it being kinda safe & "squeaky clean". If I make it to the next round I definitely will try my best to write something a bit different/less safe for me. 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
|
No shade to any kats in here, but this guy looks hot af in this shoot
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/16/2011
Posts: 50,981
|
Quote:
Originally posted by keshaspearsxo
Boys will be boys (HEY!)
|
My impact!
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Achilles.
My impact!
|
A bop.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
OK but we all know why Taylor's dating him
btw my reviews are done and coming in a FEW
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
|
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
|
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
|
|
|
|
|
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Jackson
OK but we all know why Taylor's dating him
btw my reviews are done and coming in a FEW |
Yaaaaas score tea
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
|
I wonder if they'll come out before I have to leave to pick up my friend at 1:25 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
ΔLL SØNGS
Quote:
Hugamari – I Can Not Face Reality
Melody – I would have enjoyed more variation in the melody throughout the verses. It seems as though you’re singing the same thing throughout most of the song. There is a bit of a hook in the chorus which is great, and the bridge was a nice change as well. You chose a great instrumental but as it was a bit samey it was hard to overcome the lack of melody the instrumental provided for you.
Lyrics – A lot of lines here were either awkward or unclear. “I’ll pull you in and I’ll hold you tight” was a good example of that, as well as “my dreams are my only vice”. In my opinion the melody actually took away from the lyrics a bit as I saw them being a little softer (apart from the chorus obviously) and more reserved. I love the progression of the verses as a whole. The second verse especially was powerful.
Vision – Memories
Melody – What’s with this weird af pitching? It seems like you’re not a bad singer so I don’t know why you did that because it makes everything less on pitch  . I liked the verse melody. It was simple and effective. There really wasn’t much of a hook in the chorus, though, and it seemed like more of an extension of the verse or a prechorus.
Lyrics – The last line of each section of the verse was forced (sight and tears). “Daddy’s creeping down the hallway” also seems a bit creepier than you probably intended. The chorus is practically flawless, though. “There’s a stranger in the mirror/Another person to forget” woo lawd, that’s good. The second stanza of the second verse is A+ work as well. I would have loved a follow up to the second verse, because it seems as if it’s where the tables turn for your character, but then you just go back to the chorus where everything is terrible in her life again.
Citrus – Dear Marcus
Melody – This slight southern drawl reminds me of someone but I can’t quite put my finger on it . I think this kind of sounds like an Eminem song so congrats white boy. The chorus melody seemed like it was kinda just there to tie the verses together, which isn’t the point of a chorus. There wasn’t any sort of hook really. Your flow was fine in the verses but it seemed more like poetry than rap in its delivery.
Lyrics – “Go on back to your cell”? That was forced and didn’t make a lot of sense. Is Marcus in jail? It’s never quite made clear in the rest of the song. I’m guessing so considering the “in there” in the second verse. Did Marcus kill his parents or something? I kinda like how I’m left to fill in the blanks of the story myself, but at the same time I would have enjoyed some more clever allusions to what really went on so I’m not left grasping for straws trying to find a concept. The lyrics were almost too book-y and poem-y but they weren’t bad.
CountryBritney – Into the Light
Melody – I thought your verse and prechorus melodies were actually really good. I loved the bridge melody too, and I loved how you changed the tempo there a little (it was a bit of a Teenage Dream type juxtaposition which is widely regarded as one of the best written pop songs there is melodically). The chorus was a bit of a nonevent in my opinion but it still wasn’t the worst one this round. You’re British right? I love how British accents disappear when you sing, I think it’s super cool 
Lyrics – I think schizophrenia is incredibly interesting, so I love that you chose that as your topic this week. I think you’ve overcome your overly-poetic-to-the-point-of-losing-meaning type of writing. The song was extremely poetic, but I liked it. The second verse especially was great. I admit, without that second verse I probably wouldn’t have known what the song was about but to me that elucidated the meaning and made it a lot stronger. I LOVE the line “and your past became the best of you”. This is one of my favorites from you, if not my favorite, so great job overall!
TheCheetahWings – In My Eyes
Melody – Oh this instrumental is familiar! Oh is this your voice?  jk I know it isn’t but it’s a bit of a kii to imagine you singing this. I like that we both started our songs with a chorus because the instrumental set it up perfectly for that. There’s a bit of a hook in the “in my eyes” line but otherwise it wasn’t incredibly catchy in my opinion. I actually enjoyed the verse melody more than the chorus.
Lyrics – Is this song about Taylor? “Cause you’re not a saint/But this is no surprise/The true colors you pain/Reflecting in my eyes” it definitely seems like it. I like the song a lot more when I read it through that lens . Actually, I could further liken this to Taylor in saying the lyrics reminded me of bad blood in that it was mostly just full of random nonsensical words about breaking up and someone showing their “true colors”. There wasn’t anything specifically you here… and I think you ended up crafting the words around your melody in a way that held both back.
feelslikeadream – Sandman
Melody – This instrumental seems to be the it instrumental this round. I think your verse melody was actually a lot like Vision’s which I guess means it wasn’t extremely original. Out of everyone so far you’ve had the best hook in your chorus. I’ll probably actually find myself singing the “Sandman, send me to sleep” line tomorrow. Potsticker’s wig is still intact, but this was still pretty solid melodically. I liked the “gold dust down” melody as well. TBH I want to cover this. The whistles were flawless as always. Mariah 2014 esque.
Lyrics – “But my wear mind can’t face that you’re gone” sounds like something I’d write, and by that I mean one of those awkward vague yet advanced lines that you used to drag in Season 7. I can relate to the song which made it more powerful for me. I love how descriptive and pretty the chorus is. I wish you would have expanded more on the sleep concept in the first verse like you did in the second to tie everything in better. The last stanza of the second verse was strong apart from the word “caffeine”. The chorus was definitely the highlight both lyrically and melodically.
Achilles. – Boys Will Be Boys
Melody – BOY, when you said whisper I didn’t think you’d LITERALLY be whispering. You put Selena to shame. Could you literally not have been loud enough to hear the notes? Well I’m glad I could at least get a feel of the flow of the words but I couldn’t really hear a melody. I think I missed your meltdown but thanks for at least submitting something.
Lyrics – Lyrically this might be your best this season. There were a few weird lines (cool kids do NOT wear fedoras, and the gay line was worded awkwardly) but otherwise I thought it was witty and funny. “We’re God’s gift to mankind” was TOO much in a good way. You captured the typically preppy jocky white American boy perfectly. I think the third verse was my favorite part. This was a return to your writing style last season in that it was witty, funny, and provided a great, satirical approach on songwriting.
Moonchild – Summer Goes
Melody – Your voice is so 80’s pop . The melody was good at first but it kinda got old quickly since it was all pretty samey throughout the verse and chorus. Nothing was really bad but I can’t see this really getting stuck in my head.
Lyrics – This reminds me on an old song of mine called Sandcastles & Shades. Random little anecdote but yeah . I liked how you used a box of wine as opposed to a bottle or glass. I liked the Ocean Lips reference as well. I thought this was pretty fun overall! The lyrics didn’t take themselves too serious and you married the themes of childlike innocent love and the ocean well. I feel like I shouldn’t like the hula hoop line but I do. I almost wish you hadn’t alluded to the end of the relationship in the bridge because otherwise it was perfectly innocent.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
