[8thPrince]

Originally posted by Jackson

Actually, you couldn't say that. If you took some time to look at the lines in the next part of the verse:

USED TO steal your parent's liquor (8/6)
AND climb to the roof (5/4)
talk about our future (6)
LIKE we had a clue (5/4)

You can clearly see it follows my meter, while under your rule

Used to steal your parents liquor and climb to the roof (13)
Talk about our future like we had a clue (11)

I think you can, actually, they all match when you remove the anacrusis (the introductory note for each phrase) They all match when you look at the lines together (Brackets are the anacrusis, forward slash is the pause, x is a stress, dash in unstressed. )

Summer after high school when we first met (10)
x-x-x-/x--x
[We] made out in your mustang [t]o Radiohead (12)
[-]x-x-x-/[-]x--x
[Used to] steal your parents liquor and climb to the roof (13)
[--]x-x-x-/[-]x--x
Talk about our future [like] we had a clue (11)
x-x-x-/[-]x--x

They're all variations of x-x-x-/x--x

[Nait Phoenix]

The first "we" is stressed, not "when"…
"First" occupies the two syllables…

[Jackson]

Originally posted by 8thPrince

I think you can, actually, they all match when you remove the anacrusis (the introductory note for each phrase) They all match when you look at the lines together (Brackets are the anacrusis, forward slash is the pause, x is a stress, dash in unstressed. )

Summer after high school when we first met (10)
x-x-x-/x--x
[We] made out in your mustang [t]o Radiohead (12)
[-]x-x-x-/[-]x--x
[Used to] steal your parents liquor and climb to the roof (13)
[--]x-x-x-/[-]x--x
Talk about our future [like] we had a clue (11)
x-x-x-/[-]x--x

They're all variations of x-x-x-/x--x

That makes it 10/10/10/10 though, which works, I was just saying it wasn't 10/12/10/12

[8thPrince]

I haven't heard this song in a long time, I just stressed it as I'd speak it aloud, so it'll be different than actual melody notates it

Originally posted by Jackson

That makes it 10/10/10/10 though, which works, I was just saying it wasn't 10/12/10/12

Ah, ok

[Jackson]

I think Nait was right. I think I finally got it down

[UFO]

Yass I love these Platinum Tips

[Cupid]

My final surgery went well this morning, i'm still alive woo. Now just a few weeks of recovery so i'll probs be perched on atrl.

I live to write another week. unless I get eliminated poor dat

[Ventitonic]

Originally posted by Vision

My final surgery went well this morning, i'm still alive woo. Now just a few weeks of recovery so i'll probs be perched on atrl.

I live to write another week. unless I get eliminated poor dat

Glad to hear things are going well.
You betta hang in there for the newbies this season, bitch

[ceremonials]

So is directly quoting the song we're making a sequel to frowned upon? Should it just be allusions to the previous song?

I was thinking of quoting:

And I saw my reflection
In the snow covered hills
Til the landslide brought me down

Or

Well I've been afraid of changing
Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

But the last one is basically just the whole chorus so I feel like it's too long. Maybe I would just use parts of it.

[Jackson]

---

TIP #3: RHYMING

While the most basic component of a song's structure and flow, rhyming can be difficult to master. As I'm sure you're all aware, rhyming is "correspondence of sound between words or the endings of words, especially when these are used at the ends of lines of poetry". What beginners might not be aware of is that there are various kinds of rhymes at your disposal.

The first and most well known type of rhyme is an exact/perfect rhyme. These are words that end in the exact sound, such as rot, caught, (power) top, etc. While the most easy to use, these kinds of rhymes often appear forced when used at their most basic level. For example, "fakers gonna fake/heartbreakers gonna break" appears infinitely more basic than "we are just looking for connection, yeah we all want so be seen/I'm looking for someone to speak my language, someone to ride this ride with me", so be extra careful when using exact rhymes.

Slant/near rhymes are much more commonly used in music. A slant rhyme is one in which two words share a vowel sound, but have different consonant endings (such as the Witness example above). Slant rhymes often appear more natural, but can also appear forced. Make sure to use a mix of perfect and slant rhymes.

When rhyming in a song, know what you want to say BEFORE you find a rhyme to fit it. You can find exact and near rhymes by using rhyming dictionaries like rhymezone and rhymer.

Be extra careful when ending your lines on big words. Compassion and distraction may work as rhymes, but can appear clunky and seem forced depending on the context.

Be inventive with your rhymes. Utilize internal rhymes, where two words within a line rhyme with each other (see what I did there?). Here's an example:

8th drags you hags to hell
But still can't learn to spell

It adds an interesting element to the flow of your song and draws specific attention to a line. AVOID rhyming words with themselves (this is the part of me/that you're never gonna ever take away from me), and above all, remember that rhyming comes secondary to the meaning of your song. Make your line fit your rhyme, not the other way around.

[Jackson]

Originally posted by ceremonials

So is directly quoting the song we're making a sequel to frowned upon? Should it just be allusions to the previous song?

I was thinking of quoting:



Or



But the last one is basically just the whole chorus so I feel like it's too long. Maybe I would just use parts of it.

I'd advise if you take a section that long to change some of the words or add your own twist to it so it doesn't look like direct plagiarism

[Tymps.]

Me @ everything that's happening right now: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

[minho]

I'm very emotional

I hope I can turn this into something but I don't know

[Ventitonic]

In the springtime
Those memories start to fade
With the April rain
Through the summer days
Till autumn's leaves are gone
I get by without you
Till the snow begins to fall

And then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time

[keshaspearsxo]

stressing does not exist

[Jackson]

Originally posted by keshaspearsxo

stressing does not exist

STRESS-ing does NOT ex-IST

[CountryBritney]

That was really helpful actually. Thank you

[Hugamari]

When is Temporine going to add that to the OP? Even though I think I have it down, it might be nice to look back on.

[CountryBritney]

1. CountryBritney - The Ballad Of Mona Lisa (Panic! At The Disco)
2. Hugamari - Moonlight (Ariana Grande)
3. Ceremonials - Landslide (Fleetwood Mac)
4. jpow - Train (Goldfrapp)
5. Nait Phoenix - Blue Cassette (Friendly Fires)
6. Citrus - Jolene (Dolly Parton)
7. Citrus - Born in the USA (Bruce Springsteen)
8. Citrus - Name Callin' Part 2 (Queen Latifah)
9. Citrus - Deeper Conversation (Yuna)
10. Citrus - Lucky (Britney Spears)
11. Citrus - Mr. Bright side (The Killers)

Citrus and his talent at writing a multitude of sequels at once

[Dylobs]

Perched for Tips 4-6