[Temporal]

Your tiering is ALMOST right Venti!

[UFO]

this is cute af

Originally posted by swiftie13

Mess


Also I didn't mean to offend by the nice message, I just meant that I loved your concept


And yeah California is trash

I'm glad we can finally agree on something, Mister Hor

I hope you've learned your lesson

[MattyTacos]

14. MattyTacos - Where the Gods Play
The Flying vocabulary here was really contrived: "With fast agility he is free to soar" (you served "Wooden Branches" with "Fast agility"), "I can’t be his co-pilot or his acrobat", "With his sense of altitude he stays airborne" and "will I be able to fly evermore?" Those instances of forced language made this a bit of a clunky read, with your meaning actually being hurt by the metaphors, not helped. The first stanza of the first verse felt like two completely unrelated couplets as well. I wish you would've capitalized on that 10/10 title as well, by playing with it in your song more. Otherwise, this would've been a pretty brilliant entry.

Well, considering the challenge is suppose to be related to the type, I think the flying lines make sense. The only lines I agree with you about being contrived is maybe the altitude & evermore line.

I completely disagree with the metaphors hurting my meaning. In fact, the meaning is quite obvious, it's a relationship where one partner hurts the other and become successful in life. The chorus perfectly describes the success of the partner whether or not you find the metaphors forced. Discussing how he's a great flyer, which is quite obvious in terms of relating to success. In fact, the bridge literally spells it out if it was completely misunderstood, as did the pre-chorus in a more poetic way (discussing how he can fly, while I'm still trying to successful take off from the ground).

I can see what you mean about the first stanza, and I completely agree since I was just writing what came to my mind and didn't really go back and make it more appropriate for the song.

I do agree about the title, I touched on the title in the second verse but I could've expanded the idea even more.

But, I'm sorry you didn't like my song.

[Hugamari]

Shiny + legendary
Shiny
Legendary
Normal

???

[Jackson]

5 more entries to judge and I'll post my reviews. Hoping to get it done in the next two hours but no promises

[Vulnicura]

yikes at the song I tried really hard with coming across as a 5 minute effort :weeps

[UFO]

But, I'm sorry you didn't like my song.

fffff don't be sorry sis

[jpow]

It's probably the bolded but then in order of #

So

Scoring in the 8s
1. Citrus

Scoring in the 7s
2. Hugamari
3. Vision
4. Lovesong

Scoring in the 6s
5. Achilles
6. CountryBritney
7. Matty
8. Fefe
9. mxtthewdelrey
10. Witch
11. UFO

Scoring in the 5s
12. Jax
13. Vulnicura
14. Navy of Bagels
15. Nait

[UFO]

Originally posted by Jackson

5 more entries to judge and I'll post my reviews. Hoping to get it done in the next two hours but no promises

I'm READY and PERCHED

[swiftie13]

Originally posted by UFO

this is cute af


I'm glad we can finally agree on something, Mister Hor

I hope you've learned your lesson

Henny you're the one that's supposed to be learning . Don't try me no more

[Temporal]

Originally posted by jpow

It's probably the bolded but then in order of #

So

Scoring in the 8s
1. Citrus

Scoring in the 7s
2. Hugamari
3. Vision
4. Lovesong

Scoring in the 6s
5. Achilles
6. CountryBritney
7. Matty
8. Fefe
9. mxtthewdelrey
10. Witch
11. UFO

Scoring in the 5s
12. Jax
13. Vulnicura
14. Navy of Bagels
15. Nait

There's just one person in the wrong tier (a tier is missing!). Scores are off too but you're not getting that tea!

Also Matty I liked your song wtf

[UFO]

UFO
Platinum Hit Charts

---

Week	Song	Genre	Peak	Score	Equivalent
1.	"In My Head" (Intro)	Indie Rock	#23	6.48	"Born to Run"
2.	"Subconscious Being"	Country Folk/AC	#11	7.00	"Same Love"
3.	"Return to Earth"	Synth-pop ballad	TBA	TBA	"TBA"

Return to Earth

I'm invisible like the air that you breathe
On that last day I promised I'd never leave

[VERSE]
The world fell on me, used to ride the horizon
Together, we had no clue that I would disappear
My life flickered past, didn't think it was sacred
Now I have to pay the price by falling from heaven

The phones are buzzing, no one can hear me in here
I'm trapped with a hundred demons feeding on my fear
I'm bleeding out my conscience but I'll be alright
With staying locked away if I can see you again

The devil climbs his way through my oesophagus
He clutches my throat, I begin pouring out my soul
For him to take so that I can hide in the light
Away from the vultures that waited until I'd died

[PRE-CHORUS]
If only someone had let me know, it wouldn't be this hard to let go
I only want to be alive and free, to be taken back to my dreams

[CHORUS]
I've been watching you as you sleep
As the shadows start to fill my mind
They want to keep you out of reach
There is more pain in the afterlife
When you're right there in front of me
It's difficult to say good night
I want to be there when you awake
Someone help me return to Earth

All I have is my empty touch
I try to hold your hand, it won't work
Tell me why love is forever
When nothing in my heart can be heard
I'm silenced by the loud echoes
Of the reality of death
I don't want to be forgotten
Someone help me return to Earth
Return to Earth

[VERSE]
I'm in the corner of your room, barely standing
You're only a few steps away but I'm terrified
It's a miracle but I somehow cannot bear
To watch you smile and live as if I were never there

The wolves are howling, waiting to prey on my heart
The walls surround me, they're closing in with the dark
The realisation hit me that your tears will dry
And that I'll be left here to die a thousand more times

I know it's not your fault, you were forced to move on
From the witching hour when I was no longer yours
I'm glad you have found a way out of the darkness
If death do us part then in death we will find each other

[PRE-CHORUS]
If only someone had let me know, it wouldn't be this hard to let go
I only want to be alive and free, to be taken back to my dreams

[CHORUS]
I've been watching you as you sleep
As the shadows start to fill my mind
They want to keep you out of reach
There is more pain in the afterlife
When you're right there in front of me
It's difficult to say good night
I want to be there when you awake
Someone help me return to Earth

All I have is my empty touch
I try to hold your hand, it won't work
Tell me why love is forever
When nothing in my heart can be heard
I'm silenced by the loud echoes
Of the reality of death
I don't want to be forgotten
Someone help me return to Earth
Return to Earth

[BRIDGE]
Everything was stolen from me
It happened so quick I had no time to catch the thief
Footsteps grew closer in my mind
We knew the demons had found their hell within me

Use my silhouette as a reminder that life
Only exists because we know it is finite
Take me into your arms, send me towards the stars
I'll be waiting for the day we see through the night

[CHORUS]
I've been watching you as you sleep
As the shadows start to fill my mind
They want to keep you out of reach
There is more pain in the afterlife
When you're right there in front of me
It's difficult to say good night
I want to be there when you awake
Someone help me return to Earth

All I have is my empty touch
I try to hold your hand, it won't work
Tell me why love is forever
When nothing in my heart can be heard
I'm silenced by the loud echoes
Of the reality of death
I don't want to be forgotten
Someone help me return to Earth

I've been watching you as you sleep
As the shadows start to fill my mind
They want to keep you out of reach
There is more pain in the afterlife
When you're right there in front of me
It's difficult to say good night
I want to be there when you awake
Someone help me return to Earth

All I have is my empty touch
I try to hold your hand, it won't work
Tell me why love is forever
When nothing in my heart can be heard
I'm silenced by the loud echoes
Of the reality of death
I don't want to be forgotten
Someone help me return to Earth
Someone help me return to Earth
Return to Earth

I'm invisible like the air that you breathe
On that last day I promised I'd never leave

dedicated to Guernica

[MattyTacos]

Originally posted by UFO

fffff don't be sorry sis

Mess! I'm just keeping it professional.



By the way I loved the verse you posted of your song.

[jpow]

okay idk the missing tier

[UFO]

Originally posted by swiftie13

Henny you're the one that's supposed to be learning . Don't try me no more

Honestly I'm cackling @ how much I dragged you in these last few pages while you're struggling to stand in line at a Grimes concert surrounded by a bunch of straight guys

I'm practically SCREAMING right now



ff I do too much!

[UFO]

Originally posted by MattyTacos

Mess! I'm just keeping it professional.



By the way I loved the verse you posted of your song.

Thank you sis, I hope you achieve your dreams and successes
Sometimes it's hard out here for a bitch



Also I posted the full song if anyone's interested. I want to be as open and honest in this thread as possible

[Ventitonic]

Would Temporal really make a tier separate for Not Fully Evolved?
Poor Witch and Navy

[Nait Phoenix]

6. Nait Phoenix - Cicada's Lullaby
There are still minor issues and oversights in this entry, do you share your songs with other contestants? If not, you should start, I think a fresh set of eyes fixing mechanical issues could really bump you up a full point on its own. The "but" in the first verse was contradictory, it doesn't make sense in the context, while "wouldn't" should have been "won't" to keep up the parallelism (side note: the first verse was the best part of the song). "What must I make for you to need me?" was a really weird line, "make" doesn't feel like the right word since physically "making" something to get someone to not just love but "need" you doesn't feel practical. The "swan song" detracted from the Cicada's lullaby; on its own I think it would've been a clever play, but by doubling it up with the cicada AND the butterfly (while writing for the bug type), it stuck out as a poor inclusion. The chorus was somewhat weak with its call and response nature; I think it would've worked better as a pre-chorus or intro/outro. I wish you would've stuck to the bug imagery that you set up in the first verse in the second verse as well. At this point, I feel that you're using familiar language, clichés, rhymes and whatnot without adding your own spin. What WOULD a Nait Phoenix spin be? How can you set yourself apart from the crowd? I'm sure there's a great writer lurking within you somewhere, but you're letting a defeatist attitude cover it up.

I was ready to sit by and let it happen, but I can't anymore…
My first verse was not mechanically wrong.
I said "I'm not ready to ascend, but my heart is slowly breaking" i.e. "I'm not ready to go to the afterlife, but it's happening anyways." That's correct, no matter how you spin it!
"Was looking in the right direction, but my feet wouldn't move;" both past tense words because it happened in the past!
And if you lot cannot see this song is literally how I've been feeling for the past three seasons of this game…
"What must I make for you to need me?" I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU GUYS! YOU!! THE JUDGES, THE CONTESTANTS, THIS GODFORSAKEN GAME! WHAT THE **** MUST I MAKE FOR YOU TO NEED ME!? GEEZUM, WAS IT NOT THAT OBVIOUS!?
This whole song is me comparing my songwriting life-cycle to that of a cicada! It was exactly what was asked! To think that no one in this game can see these songs are not ******** and that they're personal infuriates me…
I'm done semi-pandering: whatever I make from now on is on my terms…

[MattyTacos]

The devil climbs his way through my oesophagus

SIS

We knew the demons had found their hell within me

This masterpiece line.

I'll be waiting for the day we see through the night

I'm invisible like the air that you breathe
On that last day I promised I'd never leave

I think I hear God.

The first verse was good, but the second verse was better. But the bridge was better than them both. I liked the pre-chorus but the chorus was spectacular and much better written. But the bridge was the best written. I love the outro. 4/10.

[UFO]

Originally posted by Ventitonic

Would Temporal really make a tier separate for Not Fully Evolved?
Poor Witch and Navy

This is the beauty of natural selection