[Redacted#2]

Originally posted by Daddy

What is also important is to not forget the psychological factor of It all. We can discuss the science and the statistics and the meds but people often overlook the struggle and the feelings of HIV+ people.

I was 18 back in the days.

Can you imagine how ****ing terrible It is to fall in love again, knowing you have to tell that person that you're HIV+?

When to say It? Waiting for them to fall in love too and piss them off? Or telling It from the very first date and get the boot before the dessert or the movie is over?

How will they react?

How will your mom and dad react?

Should I tell anyone? Will someone ever be able to truly love me?



Those are just a few questions that controlled my daily life for like a year after I got It.

It is pure hell in the beginning.

What It could do to your body, physically, is mostly a topic later in the process.

I'm so sorry. You must be so strong! LGBT people go through enough as it is.

[DiamondDust]

Originally posted by BenWL

Im very uneducated on the subject, so forgive me for sounding stupid with this question (I don't have unprotected or casual sex and only do it with a partner I feel I truly love - not that I judge people who do that. It's your body!)

But anyway, my question is....why haven't tou guys gotten majorly sick or died yet? I know, I'm ignorant of it. But I'm confused. I thought HIV eventually turned into AIDs, which there is no cure for, and that kills you. And you guys say some of you have had HIV for 8 years. How long will it take to turn into AIDs? Why is it not a big deal to you? Can you actually survive? Can you grow old? I'm really really confused. Sorry for sounding ignorant. Please educate me!

HIV only turns into AIDS if an HIV+ person's CD4 cell count falls to a certain level (around 200 CD4 cells per cubic millimeter of blood). The anti-retroviral drugs that an HIV+ person takes keeps their CD4 cell count at a healthy level so that the virus never turns into AIDS.

[J a y]

@Daddy - god yes, it's hard enough being gay. Imagine being gay and positive. It's just so.. ugh.

Who do you tell, when do you tell someone you're dating? Will they accept it or run away in fear? I've learnt to care less and bother with people who do accept it. I didn't choose this, nor was I reckless enough that I slept with 37282 guys. I made one mistake.

Wrap it up!

[duybeeGAshantiGA]

Can I ask a sensitive question? Its OK if u guys (with HIV+) dont want to answer the question.

How/which way did u get the virus?

[DiamondDust]

Originally posted by duybeeGAshantiGA

Is there a big difference between being circumcised or not when it comes to being infected??? I am uncircumcised so Im worried.

An uncircumcised male is more likely to transmit/be more susceptible to HIV when having unprotected sex because of the greater amount of bacteria on the foreskin, which actually works to facilitate transmission of the virus to healthy cells.

[BoyOnBoy Wonder]

Originally posted by J a y

Um, not really. I was warned that I'd feel fatigue but I experienced no symptoms.

I chose to take them early (guidelines differ, more info online etc.)

I'm fortunately very healthy, and my counts are steady. I feel safer

we love you!

[Zhuge Liang]

So is unprotected anal sex ever safe at all? Will you still get the virus even if you are in a committed monogamous relationship?

[TeemoR]

Originally posted by Bey Admired

How can you say you're studying medicine and say that you can't pass HIV through kissing when there are cases of people who have contracted HIV that way?

If someone has an open wound or broken skin, the virus can be transmitted into the blood stream of the negative partner. During kissing, the virus may not be even in contact with the air if both mouths are closed against each other, and the temperature is suitable for the virus to survive.

wtf who has contracted HIV through kissing?

[Javan]

Do you ever forget?

[Javan]

Originally posted by Bey Admired

Dude, it can be passed through kissing when there is an open wound. It may not be passed through saliva, but that doesn't mean someone can't contract HIV through kissing. I am educated on this subject, I studied it after all.

Then why are you asking?

[DiamondDust]

Originally posted by katysus

So is unprotected anal sex ever safe at all? Will you still get the virus even if you are in a committed monogamous relationship?

Only if both partners have been tested and are definitely HIV negative/negative for all other STI's. You can't transmit something that you are not infected with.

Also, many HIV+ individuals on treatment have an undetectable viral load, meaning that copies of HIV cannot be detected in the blood by standard viral load tests. These individuals are highly unlikely to be able to transmit the virus.

[Hurem]

When you went to go get tested, did you go just because or you thought you were positive? How long did it take you to start feeling better (i.e. not feeling depressed)? Who did you tell you're positive so far?

I'm really curious

[Daddy]

Originally posted by Javan

Do you ever forget?

I literally NEVER think about It. Not even when I take my daily pill or go to the doctor every 3 months (at least). I just do It without thinking "Oh, It's because you are HIV+"

I doesn't affect my life anymore. For many years now. Also because I live in Berlin in every other person I meet is positive too or isn't afraid of the virus because everyone is educated and calm.

I consider myself very happy but I also know the lowest point which just made me stronger and more mature than I ever thought I could be.

[J a y]

Originally posted by Javan

Do you ever forget?

A bit hard to forget when an alarm every 12 hours reminds me to take my meds..

But generally, it's not on my mind anymore. I live a fairly normal life now.

You can't get any lower than where I've been. I stared death in the face and said no thanks.

[TeemoR]

HIV CAN'T be transmitted through kissing and even through oral sex it's VERY rare. Even if some people claimed that they got it through kissing/oral sex it's most likely that they lied or something else happened they weren't aware of at that time....Anyway stop panicking people and always wear condoms.

[BoyOnBoy Wonder]

Originally posted by J a y

A bit hard to forget when an alarm every 12 hours reminds me to take my meds..

But generally, it's not on my mind anymore. I live a fairly normal life now.

You can't get any lower than where I've been. I stared death in the face and said no thanks.

It's true.

Jay is thirsty af.

[Hurem]

Would be cool if OP put frequently asked questions in the first.

[J a y]

Originally posted by Daddy

I literally NEVER think about It. Not even when I take my daily pill or go to the doctor every 3 months (at least). I just do It without thinking "Oh, It's because you are HIV+"

I doesn't affect my life anymore. For many years now. Also because I live in Berlin in every other person I meet is positive too or isn't afraid of the virus because everyone is educated and calm.

I consider myself very happy but I also know the lowest point which just made me stronger and more mature than I ever thought I could be.

This.

And 💀 didn't realise you changed your user. Your message on FB made me howl

[Zhuge Liang]

Originally posted by DiamondDust

Only if both partners have been tested and are definitely HIV negative/negative for all other STI's. You can't transmit something that you are not infected with.

I see. So you still can do it even to several other people and not get transmitted as long as they are all negative, right?

[abrahamjmr]

Originally posted by Oxidane

Sorry buddy but you are kind of spreading ignorance because your statements do not really align with the wider accepted scientific understanding and literature - and passing mal-informed comments off as fact propagates anxiety.

You have already back-tracked on the "thousands of cases" comment, so I must ask: what are you basing your statements on? Anecdotal evidence / media reports are not at all reliable.

A number of papers have concluded that the risk of transferring HIV via "passionate kissing" - and not just a few kisses, is extremely, extremely low:
http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article....ticleid=379121
http://jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/181/2/498.full
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9989543

The bottom line of current academic thinking is that the recipient's saliva disrupts the virus and any virus infected cells from the infected individual, ultimately minimizing its infective potential.

Plus, from a probability outlook, the first paper I linked mentions that less than 1% of studied health care workers who have been exposed to the virus by accidental needle-stick injury in a healthcare setting end up actually being infected. If a HIV-infected needle which goes directly into the skin / blood has less than a 1% chance of HIV infection then the chances of being infected via kissing is even lower.

For a disease associated with so much fear, stigma and misunderstanding, I think it is more than wise to call on the scientific literature. But perhaps this is my academic side taking over (I too study Medicine).

He doesn't study medicine, though. He is basing his comments on things he's read or researched about. I do study medicine and we've been taught it can't be passed through kissing. Patients are also often advised not to believe everything they see online because most of them, in my country, have quit their treatment because they've read the virus isn't real and ended up passing away months after they made that decision.