man i would've been upset if someone had told me this in high school but
bad college math is SO much worse than bad high school math. like in high school math there were concepts i didn't get, and it was hard. in college math there are entire units where i have no idea what's going on. omg i hate statistics/quantitative methods so much when i was in class today i was just watching the professor thinking "what in god's name does any of this mean"
These past two weeks or so have been something else... I've been having to deal/stress about college decisions all while dealing with my father and his constant attacks on me. From him making fun of my appearance and my rejections from colleges to me having nightmares about him hurting/killing me, it's been just a terrible couple weeks (although he's always done this to me, it's just reaching a breaking point) and I wish high school was over with so I can leave and literally finally learn to love myself and become happy. The fact that he constantly hates on me on everything about me even though I'm a respecting honor student who literally does nothing except stay home and do work just completely makes me hate myself more since I'm gay and I can't even tell him as he would make fun of me 24/7 and/or try to hurt me physically. These past two nights have led me to have nightmares where he murders me for being gay and coming out since he doesn't want more disappointment in his family.
The fact that I almost ran away from home last night at 4 AM to get away from him after he woke me up to cuss me out and ridicule me literally speaks volumes as to how unhappy I am. I'm going crazy and I'm literally wanting to go to a counselor or psychiatrist to get help/advice on what to do.
I'm sorry for ranting, this is random thoughts and I just need to vent this because I'm BOILING wanting to go anywhere but here.
I've had a Tumblr account for like 6 years but I barely use it anymore and whenever I do, I message with this person I don't really know but we've become tumblr friends or whatever.
So tonight I decided to check their blog just because and I just found out it's a really cute guy, yas, slay, i betta get him, etc.
