HERE are the facts:
Diane spent HOURS trying to think of a meaningful start of the song
Diane got a SERIOUS topic to write about
Which happens to be a topic that's getting more attention now than EVER
She roped LADY GAGA of all people into co-writing and singing
She BELIEVED this would help her WIN the Oscar
Conveniently, Ke$ha's rape case got attention at the SAME time
Making Ke$ha a CELEBRITY CAUSE
Diane received her SEVENTH nomination
She then began to tell STORIES about the song in hopes to bring up the hype
One of these stories was led to make us believe:
1) A stewardess on an airline recognized her
2) That stewardess had heard TIHTY
3) That stewardess had been raped
4) That stewardess believed TIHTY saved her life
5) That stewardess believed Diane saved her life
6) That stewardess hugged her
7) That stewardess broke her professionalism to talk to her about this
And then on the night of the Oscars,
The VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES made an introduction to the song
Gag made a MOVING performance
That received a STANDING ovation
Leaving other Oscar nominees CRYING
75% of Oscar experts believed the song would win
Things were LINED up for Diane to finally win
And for the EIGHT time in her career,
SHE LOST!
Emma on the other hand is everything you "drag" Britney for.
I wrote these all. This is my job.
