Quote:
Originally posted by collin
[loud struggle outside of dressing room; whiny man voice; cartoon punch sounds]
Kesha Rose explodes into the room.
"STEFANI, we need to TAAAALK." She belts, stomping directly towards Gaga. "I thought we were friends, WHY won't you testify for my RAPE?"
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"Oh, your poor thing," Gaga says (forever in Countess mode now) in a voice that is meant to be warm and affectionate but comes off condescending. "Whatever is the problem? Tell Stefani, and we'll see what we can do."
A teary-eyed Ke$ha snorts a dangling loogie back into her nostril. "Luke, he RAPED me and..."
"Oh sweetheart," Gaga interrupts. She loves to hear herself talk. She pulls Ke$ha near and wipes away her tears. "There there, rest your head upon my breast." She pets Ke$ha's head like she's some kind of poor, lost, pathetic dog. "We'll make it alright. I promise."
Ke$ha cries into Gaga chest, unaware that Gaga is scrolling through the emails on her phone now.
"Now then," Gaga says, distracted by the emails but trying to sound present. "What's all this about rape?"
Ke$ha looks up with wet, pleading eyes. "Well, we were in the studio and..."
Suddenly Gaga's eyes widen at something on her phone. She forcefully SHOVES Ke$ha away. Ke$ha falls and smacks her head on the floor, hard.
Gaga runs out of her dressing room. "Bobby!!" she screams, calling for her new manager. "TMZ just posted that Bette Middler died! I've waited so long to do a Wind Beneath My Wings tribute at the Oscars' In Memoriam!"
this era is already forgotten, good campaign tho
