YOU GUYS.
I now have definitive proof that the braindead ape we now know today as Methney is not the real Britney. I mean, maybe we kinda knew after
Myah Jean, but now I
know. Because the ghost of Godney, the mentally stable southern belle with a working knee, just spoke to me in a dream.
So in this dream, I was on a reality show with her and Hilary Duff. Because both of them were my childhood idols, I was telling Hilary how excited the 5-year-old me would have been to be hanging out with Meth. Meth overheard this and took me aside to talk to me about the industry and how it tainted her. She then started talking about some of the least favorite songs of her career. She said she hated "Where Are You Now" from her first album because it was so corny (RUDE), and then she started talking about her dead aunt and went on some rant about how she shouldn't have been afraid... so idk what song that was because like most of the Britney generation I stopped stanning for her after
Oops.
She said all of this to lead into asking me what my favorite song from her was because then she could crush my dreams with the negative backstory behind the creation of it. At first, I was like, "Bitch, you don't create ****, you've always been a puppet," but then she clockedT me and reminded me that because her songwriters were her producers and she worked extensively with her producers, she was nearly as involved in the process as they were. So I had to think of what exactly my favorite song was because I had to narrow it down between "Lucky", "Stronger", "I'm Not a Girl", and "Toxic". Before I could decide, I woke up.
I was just haunted by the Spearit of the old Britney, the one who wasn't crazy and wasn't under a LIFETIME CONSERVATORSHIP and whose stans were not mostly gay men, and she left me before she could tell me how the suits ruined one of my childhood anthems.
