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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Quote:
Originally posted by swiftie13
How soon? *Adele staring gif*
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Well I wasn't about to triple post so now.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Hugamari's Comments
Quote:
01. Popsicle – I’m Gonna Rise
The language was very familiar at times, "rise up from the ashes", "the best is yet to come", etc. Some lines were awkward, "You're gonna kiss my gun", "Laughing at your face now", etc. And it was a very predictable, at-face-value approach to the challenge. I would've liked a more subtle meaning, or something a tad more metaphorical.
02. KeshasFansRose – Led Me Blind
You leaving the syllable count on the first line threw me for a loop  Anyway, the verses felt different in comparison to each other structurally, was that intentional? It makes me think that it's inconsistent, which reads a bit awkward to me. Also thought less tried and true word choices would've done wonders for this song.
03. DevonRoars – King
A bit blunt, but it fits the challenge. For a second, though, I thought you just sent You & I by Lady Gaga and I was going to be upset. Turns out it wasn't! To be honest, I thought this was a bit uninteresting, but at least you kept it short and sweet.
04. ughgabriel – Portal
Fun fact: Passerby is plural! I used Passerbies in a song once and Fefe clocked me.  But about your song, you had a fairly good grasp for meter, but you worded things in a way that was blatantly for rhyming purposes. It's evident in the prechorus - line 4 is awkwardly put just because line 2 set up a rhyme. I did like how the "comeback" feel wasn't so in-you-face, though, so good on you!
05. MattyTacos – Serenity
Such a shame I got no feelings of "comeback" from this because I was pulling for you to make it.
06. RihsusChrist(ATG) – The Mountain
You're probably not even going to read my comments but whatever.  I didn't think it was necessarily bad, it just doesn't seem like the type of song that's about a "comeback" - it's more "determination" or "ambition" to me. Some lines I felt were oddly-phrased, "...my soul can turn white as snow" being the main one for me.
07. Witch_Privelege – Set Me Free
*breathe. Besides that, I guess it's...kind off comeback. It didn't really feel like it much to be, but at least I can see it. That river/sinner line felt forced af, and that added line in the last chorus was completely unnecessary. 
08. J P O W – Icarus
You had a great grasp on meter, but sis that first rhyme It sounded pretty forced to me! I'm also not too sure about the comeback feel of this song but I am not familiar with the story of Icarus, either.
09. Element – Skyline
Nnn bitch the reference. This definitely felt like a comeback song, though. It was also fairly well-written, so you succeeded bitch!
10. HausofNiko – Phoenix
This was actually among the better-written entries for this round, but thematically it was a tad *too* predictable.
11. wesleywalrus – Shooting Star
Well...there *is* a comeback theme here, but it's as if you tried a bit too hard to add some imagery here, and there's a bunch of scattered images with no association.
12. Colton Haynes – Bulletproof
It's thematically what the challenge called for, but everything was samey and predictable; almost uninspired.
13. Truffle. – See Those Stars?
TO BE HONEST, this felt really long. There was a theme of a comeback, but it was in such a predictable manner.
01. swiftie13 – Little Soldier Boy
I noticed you had a mtypo. ANYWAY, this is a really dark holiday song. Sometimes I felt things were too blunt, but "Red is not a color to be afraid of" was my favorite part, because I was like "Oh **** you're right. "
02. TheCheetahwings – Lonely Holiday
Another dark song. This had a bit of grace to it, at least in the chorus...it felt like it could be a holiday song. One to get drunk and hate the world to, but a holiday song nonetheless.
03. ClarksonSlays – Christmas Fun
*rings bell* ****! *rings bell* ****! Not a conventional holiday song by any means, but at least it was fun! I liked the Christmas carol line.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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I mwonder if all of us picked up on that
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Not surprised to see Huga drag me, who's next to post comments?!
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 16,101
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Wow at Huga hating everyone, basically.
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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I did have a typo,I resent the song without the typo though  but thanks for the feedback, glad you like that line, it came to me naturally and I was hoping it would not get dragged
And has at me getting dragged for being too blunt, that's different than the usual you're being too metaphorical I always get here. It was meant to sort of be blunt, a la traditional country and folk music
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Not sure what to make of my review 
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Yeah just saw the pm Sam forwarded to me. He sent the one with the typo.. But maybe I didn't properly send the fixed one. Typos irk me so much omg
Edit he did send me the corrected one
I see the other typo, mmmmmmm. That is completely my fault.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 26,488
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Hug, the story of Icarus was that he needed to fly to get off of an island he was stuck captive on, so he covered his arms in wax and feathers and flew off. He went too high, got too close to the sun, and ended up melting his wax and falling into the ocean. My song was supposed to infer to not worry about going to high, too far because you won't end up falling like Icarus.
(but I guess if I have to explain this later I didn't do my job well enough in my song  )
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/2/2011
Posts: 21,728
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tapos don't affect my score that badly unless if there are a quite a few.
One or two is like whatever
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Quote:
Originally posted by lovesong
tapos don't affect my score that badly unless if there are a quite a few.
One or two is like whatever
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I never really mark down on typos, typos and consistent spelling errors are vastly different. Even then, the meaning of the song is always more important.
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
Originally posted by ClarksonSlays
Not sure what to make of my review |
It seemed fairly positive to me
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by swiftie13
It seemed fairly positive to me
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I just don't think Huga considered it a Christmas song so that's gonna hurt 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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SOOOO which of the PH daddies are gonna hook me up with a Beta invite? 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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I hope i can make it back into the game
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 1,131
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Wow, I always thought the correct way to say it was "passer bys" because of Lena Katina's song "Lost in This Dance". I learned something today, haha!
Thanks for the feedback, Huga!
I'm excited to see what the other judges have to say 
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 26,488
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Quote:
Originally posted by HausofNiko
I hope i can make it back into the game
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I think you and Element are givens at this point.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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I'd be very happy if I were to get back in, only because I wasn't present at all the week I got eliminated. The past month i've been home for maybe 30 minutes a day because of theatre, but the musical is done now so i'm back to play!
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 13,381
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Element is definitely coming back unless the other 3 judges hate him.
I'd say Niko, but his reviews seem mixed.
Don't know who else will be coming back.
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 1,131
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Quote:
Originally posted by MattyTacos
Element is definitely coming back unless the other 3 judges hate him.
Don't know who else will be.
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I think the other two could be Niko and you
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