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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 18,319
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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DON'T panic...
(yeah!)
DON'T panic...
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Okay let me get these ready to post on the (half) hour fat
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by swiftie13
DON'T panic...
(yeah!)
DON'T panic...
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Probably my fave on the album.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
Disclaimer before my comments are posted: I genuinely like each of you, so anything negative I had to say about your songs was from a constructive point only and I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Even those of you who I've been negative to multiple weeks in a row, I sincerely want you to succeed.
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Poor my wig. 
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Member Since: 2/7/2014
Posts: 3,371
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Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
Disclaimer before my comments are posted: I genuinely like each of you, so anything negative I had to say about your songs was from a constructive point only and I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Even those of you who I've been negative to multiple weeks in a row, I sincerely want you to succeed.
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idk why but I feel a strange need to impress you since the week where you were the only judge who disliked Youth. I should really be worried about all the judges but... 
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
Originally posted by ClarksonSlays
Probably my fave on the album.
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Definitely a highlight so far!
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
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Quote:
11. TheCheetahwings – Solidarity (Loneliness)
General: Not this song reading like it was straight out of my thought processes. Besides for the second verse, I think this song has a concept that's relatable to almost everyone at some point. I think that's the strongest thing about your entry this week.
Does it fit the challenge: Yes, it does! The second verse kind of delved into regret a bit, I thought, but it was fairly consistent in at least keeping the loneliness theme.
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Yas  Glad it fits the theme well and that you liked it! 
It's called Solitary tho 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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GotSkill's Comments
Batch 1
Quote:
01. keshaspearsxo – Bottle (Ecstasy)
Your style is becoming so distinct and powerful. I suspect this started last season, but I can only compare to the last time I judged you last year, and I sense a huge artistic shift for the better. Your imagery was so vivid I could practically see shimmering blue waters in my mind  . On the other hand, your sporadic rhyme scheme threw me off a bit and worked against your (always) flawless meter to disturb the flow more than I would have liked. In addition, I thought this song was too serene and calming to convey feelings of intense joy and happiness. I realize there’s a thin line between blissfully happy and ecstatically happy, but I felt a bit too much of the former in this.
02. inuborg – For A Little While (Depression)
I loved your structure. The flow in the verses was pretty innovative and catchy, especially in the rhyme scheme. The rapped bridge was also a nice change of pace from the usual PH entry, and I appreciated that. Both prechoruses were phrased really awkwardly, and the first one especially was full of forced rhymes (e.g. “bore” and “chore”, and “longer” and “ponder” in the chorus). A few awkward lines weighed down the rap verse as well. You did convey a feeling of hopelessness well, and I loved the sentiment of the title.
03. URBAN – Believe (Free Yourself) (Freedom)
Well I definitely got freedom from this. I was hoping with your new name change you’d totally reinvent yourself and slay me, but this was just like a carbon copy of your round 2 entry, which also happens to be my least favorite entry of yours. It was generic and cheesy with little to grasp onto. I didn’t really get any emotion in this and there were no metaphors or examples of imagery to liven your entry. I need at least one of those three things, if not all of them.
04. ausdaniel – Quarantine (Jealousy)
This was a sad spin on jealousy, but I definitely still felt the jealousy. I loved the main metaphor you used in the song and the play on the clichéd “love and drugs” theme. Your emotions were strong and your imagery was intense. A few lines broke the tension a bit, such as “so if radiation kills us”. The first verse was my favorite part of the song.
05. Dylobs – On My Own (Loneliness)
Maybe it was just the way I read it in my head, but I loved the flow of your verses and the melodies I picked up throughout the song. Lyrically, your verses were also your strongest part of your song. Unfortunately, your chorus didn’t live up to the verses. The first line alone was much too clunky and didn’t make a lot of grammatical sense. The last two lines don’t seem to fit the theme or tone of the rest of the song either. Other than those few lines, I thought you grasped the theme of loneliness well.
06. conatus – Sorrysong (Guilt)
This was a good recovery from last week (I know you got top 10, but I rated you fairly low), but didn’t quite live up to the level of your first two songs this season. The main thing that weighted down your song this week was the prevalence of awkward lines in your song. Line such as “on my head I’m wearing a sign” and “why can’t we just lick our wounds?”, although good in meaning, worked negatively against you this round. You have a knack for finding clever metaphors to fill your song. Just remember that poeticism and emotion go hand in hand and you can’t trade one in for the other.
07. jpow – Resolution (Ecstasy)
I can imagine this going SO hard in the club  . It’s incredibly difficult to give an EDM song good lyrics, but I think you pulled it off nicely. As much as I hate the line “my skin feeling holy”, you followed it up with a couple of stellar lines that made the song. I also appreciate the use of the word orgasmic here. This definitely feels short enough to have a few head-banging drops in the middle. The only place I felt you faltered was in the second half of verse two. I also would have liked a less redundant bridge. This has the explosiveness of ecstasy I was looking for.
08. Buyonce1814 – How I Feel (Betrayal)
This feels like a way darker version of Before He Cheats . I wasn’t expecting so much violence in the prechorus from the first verse, so I wish you had built that up a bit more. I wasn’t quite feeling the entire chorus, but the last few lines were impressive. You rebounded a bit with the second verse and first bridge, but I found the second bridge to be unnecessary and forced. This was my least favorite entry from you this season.
09. Vulnicura – Control (Depression)
I was worried you’d lost it in the second line with “feel your caress with your index”. The whole line is awkward and doesn’t make a lot of sense. Fortunately, the rest of the song was flawless. The prechorus especially was brilliant. There were some beautiful lines such as “a silent shout, an absent witness” and “tired of thinking someone’s gonna save me/a hedgehog’s dilemma/they all say ‘it gets better’”. This fit depression perfectly.
10. Kunst – I Bet (Betrayal)
I loved the emotions behind this song and your story-telling approach. I almost wish the chorus was less metaphoric, or that you had at least not included a cliché knife line. The storyline was enthralling but the chorus almost lost my interest. Your flow could use a bit of work, and with a bit of tightening up this song could be extremely powerful. I didn’t quite get the twist.
11. TheCheetahwings – Solidarity (Loneliness)
This song started out awkwardly, but fortunately got better throughout. The title line could be rephrased and make the song much tighter, and the line “And it’s not voluntary/When I choose to be alone” doesn’t make a lot of sense. Your second verse conveyed the themes of your song much more effectively, and your bridge practically saved you.
12. UFO – Dancing With The Daffodils (Freedom)
BITCH. How DARE you change your name on us? Well there goes all your relevance/credibility. Suck on THAT Wooden Branch, and yes I went there.
Anyways, your chorus was flawless. The verses could use some work as far as meter goes, but your language was all there. I almost wished you had been a bit more poetic here and returned more to your prose style, but I appreciate that I could tell what every word meant and that you kept the beauty in your style. I could sense the freedom without even glancing at what emotion you had, so good job at that.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Does it MEET the challenge* @ Huga
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonchild
Poor my wig. |
Not all wigs were snatched by Hurricane GS this round 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Guess we should get to the next page for Samantha
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 26,488
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WAIT yas I didn't really get dragged  Thank you GS 
Quote:
07. jpow – Resolution (Ecstasy)
I can imagine this going SO hard in the club . It’s incredibly difficult to give an EDM song good lyrics, but I think you pulled it off nicely. As much as I hate the line “my skin feeling holy”, you followed it up with a couple of stellar lines that made the song. I also appreciate the use of the word orgasmic here. This definitely feels short enough to have a few head-banging drops in the middle. The only place I felt you faltered was in the second half of verse two. I also would have liked a less redundant bridge. This has the explosiveness of ecstasy I was looking for.
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Member Since: 2/7/2014
Posts: 3,371
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OMG I can tell from those comments which way GS's hints went 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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GotSkill's Comments
Batch 2
Quote:
13. Jaxswim – Touch (Confusion)
Your handjobs must be really weird because this isn’t normally what I’m thinking of. I thought the part about being cold in the first verse was unnecessary and took away from the meaning of the song. Other than that, I actually thought it was a good, innovative entry. It was sexual, but not in a conventional way. The M8 was by far the best part of the song in that the confusion was almost tangible. This could possibly be your best entry yet.
14. Tymps. – Lovesick (Guilt)
I have a feeling you rushed your entry this week a bit. This didn’t really have much of your style in it, other than the big word thrown in the second verse. I didn’t really like the “building’s bricks” line. The final line of the chorus threw off the flow of the song as well. Strangely, my favorite parts were the last few “puking” lines. Very angsty.
15. Achilles. – Running Free (Freedom)
I liked how this song was almost like an introduction to your new username. I thought a lot of this song was boring and uninspired, but there were certain parts I really liked; specifically the prechorus and bridge. Had you kept those emotions and that sense of urgency throughout the song this could have been one of my favorites. I think you took repition to an extreme, especially at the end of the song. Remember we’re just seeing a page of lyrics, so “we’re running free (x57)” doesn’t do much for us.
16. ceremonials – False Prophet (Betrayal)
Your language and flow were both on point, but I still wasn’t completely convinced by this song. I’m kind of sensing a theme between a few of your songs and I’d love to see you step out and experiment a little more next week. Your song was all there from a technical point, but it was lacking any kind of punch or hook, both lyrically and emotionally. I want to see you try to write a more emotionally charged song because I think it could do you wonders.
17. MattyTacos – Cry Wolf (Jealousy)
You’re back! This was so good. The line “I cried wolf but you didn’t come runnin’” was just inexplicably flawless and I could see this being an actual hit. I love the colors you described in the song and the overall storybook tone you set. The title lead me to believe this would be another one of your darker songs, but the sarcastic almost mocking tone you took here was so refreshing.
18. 8thPrince – Wont Hurt You (Guilt)
It doesn’t even feel like you’re the same writer you were last season, and I mean that in the best way. I know you did pretty well, but in complete honesty when I read your song Mushy Gushy last season I was convinced you’d be eliminated. Everything I’ve read from you this season is levels beyond that. This song is delightfully mature and emotional in tone and theme. Your word choice is a bit peculiar at times but it never comes off as awkward. I think in the coming weeks you’ll really come to slay and get your deserved #1’s.
19. Kworb – Reshape (Freedom)
This was my favorite entry from you so far. I loved the meaning behind the song and the fact that you took the word freedom completely differently than anyone else this round. I do think your verses needed a bit more structure. They could be divided up better and cut off in certain places to keep a better meter and more consistent rhyme scheme. I’d like to see you try to write a song with a tighter structure that keeps your same original interpretation of music and unique lyricism.
20. Jack! – Night Night (Depression)
Although the verses were a bit too familiar for my taste, I loved your originality in the chorus. You fit a convincing, shocking conversation into four lines without making it seem forced or overbearing. Some judges may not like the last line of the chorus, but I found it to be brilliant. I wish you had carried this theme throughout the song instead of including familiar language of depression we’ve all seen dozens of times.
21. ClarksonSlays – Pain Remains (Guilt)
This gives me Otto teas tbh. You definitely used the devastation of 9/11 as almost a crutch to hold up your song, but there were more than a few parts that were good in themselves, so I don’t mind too much. A few lines (“How I still smell your shirt, and wear your green coat”) read as awkward. The varying meter did mess me up a bit, and I’m not buying your lazy excuse of “it showed the chaos of 9/11” or whatever you were trying to pull . The chorus, thankfully, was the best part.
22. swiftie13 – The Jungle (Desire)
Sex songs are extremely difficult to pull off in my book. Although I tend to enjoy the more subtle, sensual sexual songs I do enjoy a more vicious one from time to time. This one didn’t quite pull it off for me. There was little evidence of any sort of flow and the whole thing felt kind of messy. The line “bathe in my lonely waters/we’ll sink or swim together” was probably my least favorite. I’m a bit disappointed after your past few entries have been slaying me.
23. Moonchild – Lifeblood (Desire)
Why does your writing style remind me so much of myself?  . Just take it all. This is exactly what I look for in a sex song. It was subtle, sensual, and beautifully descriptive without being overly explicit. I see you in the finale already.
24. Element – Roads (Confusion)
I can see this as a cool sort of folk power ballad. I feel like I shouldn’t like the chorus but I kinda love it  . This wasn’t quite as strong as your past entries, but basically all of them to this point have utterly slayed me so I wouldn’t be worried. I did wish the song was a bit longer or that you had expanded the bridge a bit more.
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Ready to get dragged
Edit: I was. Thanks for the feedback though! Although I think there was a flow there, it was different from what I've done, but it was consistent. However it may not have translated well. I'll keep that in mind.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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k now I'm gonna judge everyone. *puts on judging hat*
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 18,319
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Thanks Skill 
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Member Since: 2/7/2014
Posts: 3,371
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Quote:
13. Jaxswim – Touch (Confusion)
Your handjobs must be really weird because this isn’t normally what I’m thinking of. I thought the part about being cold in the first verse was unnecessary and took away from the meaning of the song. Other than that, I actually thought it was a good, innovative entry. It was sexual, but not in a conventional way. The M8 was by far the best part of the song in that the confusion was almost tangible. This could possibly be your best entry yet.
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Bitch I am FIFTEEN years old do not be pushing your sexual agenda on me.
I'm kidding but no, it was not about handjobs, lemme clear that up.
So glad you liked it!! 
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