You aren't, that is literally me all the damn time. Except, over the past few months I replaced never with "probably won't" bc you never really know, and also, I was at the point where I didn't give a **** about literally anything a few months ago, and I started meeting up with strangers for hook-ups, and I told myself that if any of them offered me drugs that I would do them because I just didn't gaf. But I've gotten my **** together for the most part, bc neither drugs or hook-ups are something that are like me whatsoever.
aw nemo the world loves u and plz make good decisions
Well I've been trying to gain weight for over a year now, I work out all the time and I eat a lot (at least four meals a day and other stuff) and I haven't been able to gain weight at all basically or look any different and it's incredibly upsetting whenever I see someone who isn't built like a twig. I'm obsessed with my body ever since I started trying to gain weight and there's no escaping thinking about it. If I think about it too much I get a panic attack hihi! I hate working out and all this **** so much. Every time I look up anything about this it's always **** on the ****ing bodybuilder forum and other places where they say how disgusting it is to be thin if you're a guy and how all you have to do is eat and lift weights like it's so ****ing easy. I know this is the stupidest thing to be so upset about but it affects my whole life. People never wanted to be friends with me until I started dressing better and got contacts, and now no one ever wants to be good friends with because I have such a bad body and a ****ed up face.
aw nemo the world loves u and plz make good decisions
I'm pretty wise about those kinds of things in general. Plus, it kind of resulted in something positive bc I ended up meeting someone whom now is everything to me.
Well I've been trying to gain weight for over a year now, I work out all the time and I eat a lot (at least four meals a day and other stuff) and I haven't been able to gain weight at all basically or look any different and it's incredibly upsetting whenever I see someone who isn't built like a twig. I'm obsessed with my body ever since I started trying to gain weight and there's no escaping thinking about it. If I think about it too much I get a panic attack hihi! I hate working out and all this **** so much. Every time I look up anything about this it's always **** on the ****ing bodybuilder forum and other places where they say how disgusting it is to be thin if you're a guy and how all you have to do is eat and lift weights like it's so ****ing easy. I know this is the stupidest thing to be so upset about but it affects my whole life. People never wanted to be friends with me until I started dressing better and got contacts, and now no one ever wants to be good friends with because I have such a bad body and a ****ed up face.
How long have you been working out? You should talk to a nutritionist about your eating habits and what you can do to bulk up more. Maybe talk to a professional trainer and ask for advice on which types of exercises will give you the best results.
Don't sweat about your body though, as long as you're trying then you're in the right direction. Keep on motivating yourself to work out. Work out for your own satisfaction, not to grab the attention of others. If you're confident in your own body and your own life, that's all that matters. Don't live for other's expectations for yourself, that'll put you in a pretty bad place.
I'm pretty wise about those kinds of things in general. Plus, it kind of resulted in something positive bc I ended up meeting someone whom now is everything to me. 
