[Kunst]

I'm in a batch with greats

[ausdaniel]

Originally posted by BlueM

Sam, did everyone submit this week?

Everyone except Keshafield

[Kunst]

Something in the way you love

[Aurora]

Sam's Comments

Batch 1

1. Girlicious – The New Classic, Iggy Azalea
Congratulations on submitting the first rap track of the season, and it’s not entirely terrible! I actually really liked it. It’s sometimes hard to get the exact flow of a rap verse because often it changes so much and it can be stunted in parts but I think I was able to follow along well enough. You have lots of strong prolonged rhyming and there weren’t any majorly forced rhymes that I picked up on, a lot of them were quite clever. The “get on your knees” lyric would be a nice Nicki nod had it actually existed at the time of TNC’s release, the same goes for the Iggy SZN lyric. They are a bit out of place in this song as if it were released in early 2014 it wouldn’t make much sense.

Did it fit the challenge?
For the most part, yes. The constant “Iggy this, Iggy that” is something that Iggy would definitely and has already incorporated into a lot of her songs and the way certain things were phrased definitely let me hear this as an Iggy track more than any other female rapper’s. You did have some time-context issues but other than that it was a solid effort.

2. conatus – Yours Truly, Ariana Grande
It’s really interesting to see this side of you, because it’s quite different from your usual style I find, which is great to see, as that’s a huge part of this challenge. You’ve explored your inner Ariana and I think it’s really paid off. This is a fantastic entry. I am screaming a bit at the “baby” spamming, but it’s very Ariana and it doesn’t actually detract from the song, which I can’t imagine would be easy to do. They weren’t unnecessary and just there to make the song more like an Ariana song (i.e. ooh baby, ooh baby, baby, baby yeah… or something). I liked the changing pre-choruses and all of them are as strong as each other, the structure there is great. I like the chorus and the “yours truly is truly yours” idea works well here. I see this fitting in with the slower songs on the album, perhaps as an album closer.

Did it fit the challenge?
To a T. I’m almost convinced that this was a Yours Truly outtake that didn’t make the final cut (but the kind that leaks later on and everyone thinks, “This didn’t make the cut, but *insert song* did? ) Well done.

3. inuborg – Riot!, Paramore
This was probably my favourite song of yours this season so far. You seemed to be a bit of a dark horse your last season too and I had super high hopes coming into this season and with this song you’ve lived up to them for me. The song started on a little bit of a negative note (“just clocks just” isn’t great lyricism because ‘just’ is a filler word and it’s used twice in the span of three words), but that was pretty much the only technical flaw. It had a clear direction and a good flow and I could definitely hear Hayley signing it with her moody voice.

Did it fit the challenge?
Definitely. The song had edge, it had that overall feeling of standing up and rioting in a youth-against-the-world kind of away and I can see it fitting in with the rest of the album very well.

4. jpow – Prism, Katy Perry
This is going to sound really picky, but the use of ‘but’ seems awkward to me in the second line, it infers that being alone with someone is somehow not what you’d expect when lights are on… using ‘and’ seems more natural. I like the ‘brilliantly colored’ repetition in the two verses. The forced “oh!” rhyme in the second verse isn’t great. I love the idea of the bridge, mentioning all of the colours of a prism’s spectrum and likening them to a part of nature. I think using more metaphorical language like Katy often does with these types of songs would have really helped elevate this entry. “Light” and “bright” is a really easy rhyme but it works, I suppose. Overall I think the bridge was the highlight, but the second verse was also pretty strong (aside from the last line).

Did it fit the challenge?
I can see it fitting in the second half of the album near This Moment/Double Rainbow, and I think for this challenge that was probably the smarter way to go than to try to write the next Dark Horse or This Is How We Do, because in general those aren’t songs one might typically associate with the ‘PRISM’ theme. You did an okay job but there’s still something lacking which stops me from completely accepting it as a Katy Perry track, but it’s almost there.

5. Nait Phoenix – Unapologetic, Rihanna
I’ll be honest; I was expecting some boss anthem of how Rihanna is an unapologetic badass bitch, so I appreciate the different approach. I think not including the actual song title in your song and rather making the theme of your song being ‘unapologetic’ worked really well here. Before I listened to your soundcloud link I imagined the song to be more of a midtempo ballad, something like What Now and Lost In Paradise, or even a slow ballad like Stay, and I actually prefer it like that, I hear it with more emotion like that. But the premise of the song is strong, we can’t just choose who we fall in love with and who we don’t, and that in particular feels very Rihanna given her relationship with Chris Brown, especially in 2012 when Unapologetic was released.

Did it fit the challenge?
I can see it fitting on the album, yes. It’s not the most obvious pick but I think it could work and there are moments which definitely make me think of Rihanna, but that’s the hard thing about writing for Rihanna, because this could just as easily be a Selena Gomez or Miley Cyrus track. But you did a good job.

6. Jaxswim – Beauty Behind the Madness, The Weeknd
I thought this was a strong and very realized entry with a good concept. I’m not terribly familiar with The Weeknd’s work so I had to listen to a couple tracks before critiquing this properly but as far as the song itself goes I liked it. “Fastness” seems a little unnatural in the chorus, but I like the rest of the lyrics there. You have some really great lyricism in the verses and that’s where you shine in this song. “But when our nocturnal skin knows daytime’s sin / It burns in disarray” was so good.

Did it fit the challenge?
From what I’ve heard of The Weeknd, his music always has a darker edge to it and that came through in this song. I can see this being sung in the style of a song like The Hills, yeah, I think you did a good job.

7. Kunst – Badlands, Halsey
This was genuinely really great. Unlike the majority of ATRL I’m actually a fan of Halsey (before it was cool to hate on her!) and this read so much like a Badlands track, from the nonsensical imagery “drunk skyscrapers” and “city lights feeling like tequila shots”, to the Lana nods, but everything just worked so well. The title dropping was done tastefully, like how she mentions Hurricane on Gasoline, the synesthesia reference, everything is really cleverly constructed about this entry. On top of all of that, I liked the meaning of the song and it resonated with the rest of the album well.

Did it fit the challenge?
100%. You kind of hit the nail on the head with this one. Well done.

8. ausdaniel – 1000 Forms of Fear, Sia
I liked the song that you submitted. The meaning was solid and for a song about trying to move on after the loss of a partner and not being able to, it was a very good song. I’m not completely sold on how you’ve used 1000 forms of fear in this song however; it almost feels like it’s just there because it has to be. The fear of moving on is one form, but what about the other 999? I’m not saying I expect you to list them all or anything, but it feel very one sided and I would have liked to have seen more progression in the song itself. It was a good song though.

Did it fit the challenge?
As I said, I’m not entirely sure. The title is one thing, but the song didn’t exactly scream Sia to me either. It had its moments that reminded me of songs like Chandelier (in the verses) and Big Girls Cry (in the chorus) but I’m not sure if the connections were strong enough. It was a good song though and if it were on the album I wouldn’t necessary say it was out of place either.

9. Dylobs – In The Zone, Britney Spears
There were so many messy moments in this song. The first hook had me screaming. The second verse is actually pretty great, I love the “in sync” reference and the “drowned within my dreams” lyric, the twist on home wrecker was somewhere between interesting and forced though. I wanted a stronger chorus though, the “garden” lyric was a bit awkward for me and the “dog/bone” lyric wasn’t my favourite either, I would have preferred something with more spice and perhaps some stunted rhythm or something to make it more different and lively. The second verse was my favourite part.

Did it fit the challenge?
I actually haven’t heard ITZ in full but I’ve heard the singles and I’d say it fits in with the theme of the album well enough, Britney was a particularly sexualized figure around that point in her career. So for that, you did well.

10. JakeKills – 1989, Taylor Swift
I think writing a song based around a particular number or year would have been one of the harder title options, there are so many ways you could have taken this that would have felt cheesy or inauthentic (I’m so glad you didn’t use the “party like it’s 1989” lyric you were thinking of including), but I think you’ve done a really good job with this, for the most part. The first verse probably has a couple too many references to songs on 1989 for my liking (“Shake off this bad blood” needs to go), but most of them are done tastefully. The Cher reference in the beginning is really clever because it relates to the theme of the song (turning back the time) and that song was released in that year, so props for that. Overall the song had a good flow and rhythm, it felt like a pop Taylor track and the way she describes her love interest is very Taylor. The general idea of feeling like you’re back in your birth year because you feel like you’ve loved this person all of your life is such a strong and purposeful link to the title, it’s not just randomly thrown in (like “party like it’s 1989” would have been).

Did it fit the challenge?
Very well. I can hear Taylor singing this over a 22-style Max Martin beat. It would have made a FAR better album opener than WTNY, that’s for sure. Taylor would be proud.

11. EuphorianSea – Blackout, Britney Spears
I recently had the pleasure of listening to Blackout for the first time a month or so ago for Prismatic’s PQS rate, and I liked it. You did a good job of setting the tone for the song early on an maintaining it throughout, the interest stays the entire time. The “blackout” ending to every chorus could go anywhere and I love that, it’s a powerful way to end the chorus. The “Hysteria Lane” lyric in the second verse is a little odd, and I just think of “Jai Ho” when I see “You are my destiny”, but overall you did a good job of making a Britney song that sounds like a Britney song without making the lyrics too simplistic, you’ve got the undertones of the public interfering with her personal life there too.

Did it fit the challenge?
I can definitely see this fitting on the album. It’s dance, it’s a bit dark, it has Britney’s sexual vibe, so good job.

12. ceremonials – Ceremonials, Florence and the Machine
This is an interesting submission. You have some good rhyming throughout and you’ve made use of slant rhyming which is good. I think something you could work on is the flow a little; some lines are longer than others in places where perhaps they shouldn’t be. It just makes following a lot so much easier and more pleasing. But that’s a minor thing. You’ve used strong language and have conveyed your message well, there’s good progression from one verse to the next. The bridge/outro isn’t my favourite and I would have preferred it if the song had ended on the lonely ceremonials lyric, but overall it’s a good entry.

Did it fit the challenge?
From what I’ve heard of this album, I’d say it fits. I’ve heard a few of Florence’s songs, the majority from this album actually, and it’s not a perfect representation of her writing style, which might be just your influence coming through, which is still fine.

13. Vulnicura – In Colour, Jamie xx
Let me just start by saying you picked probably one of the most difficult options because Jamie’s album is primarily just instrumentals with vocal samples. I think your minimalistic approach really suits that. You have a very interesting concept in the way you’ve used this natural phenomenon as a metaphor for reaching out. It’s definitely one of the more interesting entries of the bunch and I think in terms of creativity you’ve got it down. You’ve also got some great technical points like good flow and rhyming. I think accessibility is the main point of concern here but not all songs have to be accessible?

Did it fit the challenge?
It’s a hard call but I can’t see why this wouldn’t fit in to the album, lyrically it’s of a suitable length to let the production shine, which is what the album’s purpose is to do, which I think was the most important thing with this selection.

14. Obsession – True Romance, Charli XCX
I’m just going to say it first… I can’t really get Charli from this. I’m not a fan of the usage of “plot twist” or “hinge”, they just seem very blunt word choices and I just think you could have found something better. I like the lyric “The aftershocks have hurt me more than the event / so many sanity has fallen into discontent” a lot. There is some good rhyming here too. I can’t say it’s my favourite song of yours if I’m honest, but it’s far from a weak entry.

Did it fit the challenge?
I personally feel this is more of an Obsession song than a Charli XCX song. It could just be the way I’m reading it, but I’m not sure if I agree with your description… True Romance isn’t really a dark album. It’s quite the opposite. So I don’t think writing a dark song as an “anchor” was the best approach if I’m honest.

15. Nightingale – Emancipation, Mariah Carey
I think this was a pretty solid approach to the challenge. Like some others, you name-dropped a few of Mariah’s classics, but you did so in a way that didn’t feel forced which was nice. Writing about a relationship was a good angle and your chorus was short but had good rhyming. I can hear Mariah singing this in the way she sings Infinity, as it’s a relationship-gone-wrong. Your language is pretty strong and overall it was a good entry.

Did it fit the challenge?
I’m not too familiar with Mariah but from what I’ve heard I’d say it does. It has some diva type lyrics but it’s not too over the top, the language is sophisticated in a good way, it was a good flow and a lot of the word choices fit in with other Mariah songs I’ve heard.

[BlueM]

Originally posted by Sam 

30/31 submitted, Keshafied withdrew. I'm glad I kept Nightingale.

So how many of us will be eliminated?

[Buyonce1814]

So I'm in a batch with last weeks #1, Tymps and Pears

[Vulnicura]

It’s a hard call but I can’t see why this wouldn’t fit in to the album, lyrically it’s of a suitable length to let the production shine, which is what the album’s purpose is to do, which I think was the most important thing with this selection.

[Buyonce1814]

Reading these reviews and realising I have a lot of filler words in my song



Great reviews though. Sounds like everyone did a good job overall

[BlueM]

Originally posted by Buyonce1814

So I'm in a batch with last weeks #1, Tymps and Pears

Aren't you scared of being in a batch with me?

[Dylobs]

9. Dylobs – In The Zone, Britney Spears
There were so many messy moments in this song. The first hook had me screaming. The second verse is actually pretty great, I love the “in sync” reference and the “drowned within my dreams” lyric, the twist on home wrecker was somewhere between interesting and forced though. I wanted a stronger chorus though, the “garden” lyric was a bit awkward for me and the “dog/bone” lyric wasn’t my favourite either, I would have preferred something with more spice and perhaps some stunted rhythm or something to make it more different and lively. The second verse was my favourite part.

Did it fit the challenge?
I actually haven’t heard ITZ in full but I’ve heard the singles and I’d say it fits in with the theme of the album well enough, Britney was a particularly sexualized figure around that point in her career. So for that, you did well.

The amount of backhanded compliments here.

[ausdaniel]

I got a good review on the song but Sam says it didnt sound like Sia In my head the song is Sia 101 but idk how to make that come across.

[Buyonce1814]

Originally posted by BlueM

Aren't you scared of being in a batch with me?

Considering Loud slayed me, yes I am

[Aurora]

Now let me get onto these other comments. Hope I don't take another 3 years.

ANTi will be out before my Batch 2 comments at this rate.

[Buyonce1814]

Perched

[BlueM]

Originally posted by Buyonce1814

Considering Loud slayed me, yes I am

Very well!

[Kunst]

Thank you, Sam. Just thank you

[keshaspearsxo]

Originally posted by Buyonce1814

So I'm in a batch with last weeks #1, Tymps and Pears

Is this supposed to be a bad thing cuz me and tymps ain't that good and

[URBAN]

Buyonce better shimmy ha way to the top!

[inuborg]

When your comment seems positive but you know to wait until results day

[BlueM]

I need those batch 2 comments!