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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8
Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 14,512
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Meowster come through 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 59,202
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This isn’t about writing the next Billboard Hot 100 #1 song. I know you’re capable of so much more than this.
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Sam, did we or did we not have a conversation about this very thing last season in PMs? 
Anyway, I knew I was going to get dragged and I honestly don't mind, I'm not here for writing depressing things all the time, I had another song I could have sent in however, personally I just wanted to chuck a throw-away bop into the mix 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Hey guys, I have a lot going on right now and a lot on my mind so this is really my first chance to look at your songs. I'll try to get everything in soon but don't expect much as far as comments this week
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 14,512
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Quote:
Originally posted by JustLuke
Sam, did we or did we not have a conversation about this very thing last season in PMs?
Anyway, I knew I was going to get dragged and I honestly don't mind, I'm not here for writing depressing things all the time, I had another song I could have sent in however, personally I just wanted to chuck a throw-away bop into the mix |
If the bop is the same one you showed me I'm glad you sent it.
I was getting down just reading the lyrics tbh 
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 13,577
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Quote:
7. swiftie13 – Mother
Topically, I can say with 100% confidence that I've never seen a song like yours in all my seasons of Platinum Hit. A pioneer if I do say so myself. You told a story, a thought-provoking one at that, with the limit that was set upon you, and that was exactly what the challenge was about. Kudos to you!
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Quote:
7. swiftie13 – Mother
I really enjoyed this entry. It wasn’t what I expected from the title, which is a good thing, but I like where you’ve taken it. The entire first verse is really strong and sets the tone for the song well… simple words like “wicked”, “sickly”, “exhausted” are special enough and all work together well, “Never has another creature bitten at such helpful hands” is so powerful and true. I think it was an important entry and you executed it brilliantly, everything flowed so well and you told your story in a creative manner (from the viewpoint of someone evacuating Earth). You used your words well. Great work.
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Thank you guys so much for your kind words! I was really confident about this entry but I still had some doubts. I am so happy hearing these words!
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 59,202
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Quote:
Originally posted by Truffle.
If the bop is the same one you showed me I'm glad you sent it.
I was getting down just reading the lyrics tbh |
asdf; you werent the only one apparently
I just need a free producer to make a generic beat and I got it sorted 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,834
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 Freedom of Love Annotated Edition(Verse 1)
Finding myself, I was the villain
When you find who you really are and it turns out it was you holding yourself back.
Fighting my heart, that beat through my chest
Fighting against your instincts.
Tried to show me, the way to heaven
Does your heart try to take you to heaven as in paradise or death.
But I went and built up, inside me, a hell
Living in your own world of self hate, etc.
(Chorus)
The freedom of our hearts
Remember we're free to be who we are/ wanna be
Can ignite our lost spark
Remembering that can give you strength. Don't give a ****
Crying for our freedom
Crying to be accepted etc.
When we lose all reason
When you want to give up
It’s the freedom of our love
We have freedom to love/ be who/ what we want to be. It's that which'll keep us going.
Sometimes we fall
Self explanatory.
Because we follow our heart
Sometimes we get knocked down even for following our heart and that's ok
Fighting through the seasons
We keep on fighting
Giving ourselves reason
We have to remind ourselves it's ok. We are our own reason to live
It’s the freedom of our love
Repetition.
(Verse 2)
Sorry for all the smoke and mirrors
Sorry for hiding who I/ we are
But why can’t I be like all the rest?
Why do I have to be "different"
The screams are filled with silence
You just want to scream but you feel like you can't express yourself
But now I’m gonna fight it, so don’t ever let me fall
Fight the dark thoughts
(Chorus)
A repeated chorus.
(Bridge)
End of the rope, end of control, oh
Losing control
We’ll fight for our song
Juxtaposition to losing control. We'll fight for it
We fall, we stand, stand strong, because
We fall, get back up stronger because
It’s the freedom of love
The freedom to love who want or be who you want, whichever you want to apply to you, will give you strength to keep on fighting.
Of love…
Build up to the ballads final chorus
(Chorus)
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ATRL Administrator
Member Since: 6/29/2002
Posts: 77,601
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Quote:
12. Kworb – The Times
This was simply stunning. Your word choices are fantastic; unexpected yet never feel forced or contrived in any way. The parallels between the lyrics in each stanza are so well crafted and clever it’s almost unbelievable. This is not a ballad. This is not some overly emotional or mystical creation. It’s a love song with a positive vibe that just works. You didn’t even need to repeat a section. Everything was practically perfect… the rhyming, the language, the flow, the story and the length. Yes. You’re definitely one to watch in this competition.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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This is gonna be my lowest charting song ever 
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
I've done my part, you can choose to listen to the comments or ignore them. Three short stanzas is not a full song, sorry.
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If you want a "full song" don't recycle a challenge with a word limit 
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 6,751
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Hugmari
Quote:
14. RihsusChrist(ATG) – The Tragic Ballad of Paula Deen
If you wanted to quit, you should've done so. +1 for making me smirk, though.
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Sam
Quote:
14. RihsusChrist(ATG) – The Tragic Ballad of Paula Deen
You have some cute rhymes I guess.
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I guess y'all are not here for bluegrass music. Well excuse ME!
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 15,127
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Quote:
Originally posted by Buyonce1814
If you win, you'll be accused of giving BJ's  |
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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WAIT.
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The Tragic Ballad of Paula Deen
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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My reviews so far. Thank you.
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Don't ask me to paint with crayons, I'm not the one.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 26,488
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I hope I can make it to round 3
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 6,127
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Quote:
Originally posted by keshaspearsxo
Don't ask me to paint with crayons, I'm not the one.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 10,514
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Over the Moon
Word count: 124 words
[Verse 1]
I tread our track marks, memories lost,
Every pinpoint comes at a cost.
For you, they've faded; I've gone higher,
Days without are grounded reminders.
[Refrain 1]
Relive a past gone too soon,
Laugh, smile, I'm over the moon.
[Verse 2]
Plunger down and the world around bends
Gone are the wounds that time can't mend
The stars in your eyes come into mine,
Spark for a life that's lost its shine
[Refrain 2]
Don't cry, your high is my truth,
I'm over the moon for you.
[Bridge]
I'm sorry, you know; I've tried to cope.
You're gone, I've cracked, black tar and dope.
Dazed and breathless, my pulse and mind slow,
Pupils dilate, I jump and go.
[Refrain 3]
Don't cry, I'll be with you soon,
Laugh, smile, I'm over the moon.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Sorry I was busy getting scalped by Adele 
Hopefully in 2-3 hours I'll give you guys some comments
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 15,127
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My faith relies in Meowster
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