Member Since: 6/15/2012
Posts: 5,059
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76. Candy Shop
Average - 6.886
Album: Hard Candy
Rank within album: 5th of 14
Hearts (11): Reinvention (10): Luxas, JakeKills, HausOfCarlos, Alongoria13, SupremeGoddess
Rebels (0): Vilppu (1): XStaticProcess
Reinvention commentary - What is there to say? This song is perfect in so many ways, and blatantly one of Madonna’s own favourites. First of all, the song alone is great. The lyrics are blatant at parts, subtle at others. The beat thumps, and it challenges ideas about women’s sexuality and of course breaks down the expectations placed upon woman of a certain age and their sexuality. Madonna is asserting herself, refusing to conform, as she’s always done, and demanding us to worship her as the sex ICON that she is, and refuses to be seen as anything else no matter what age.
Vilppu commentary -To understand Candy Shop, we would have to go back to 2006. Back then, Madonna made her first mistake - she became interested in working with Justin Timberlake who, let's be honest, wasn't particularly creative during his FutureSex/LoveSounds era. Then we have mistake #2 - for further work she used Pharrell's demos. To add salt to the wound, she hired Timbaland who just started his decline. All of these combined made Hard Candy sound just incredibly weak and generic, with Candy Shop being just another evidence. The song-writing of it is just as unimaginative as it could get (candies being sex metaphors are not anything new or interesting), the melody sounds like another generic Pharrell track and let me not even start at this abhorrent chorus. That said, Candy Shop is simply painful to listen to, and the fact that she's been performing it for nearly 10 years over her actual masterpieces is sad.
Guest commentary
tylerlscwv - Preach Vilppu, preach! Take to church with your drag! Not even joking when I say Vilppu's commentary here might be my favorite part of the rate. The best part of this song’s placement is I didn't even have to drag it with my scores (I gave it a 4, which is higher than Reinvention's average score for everything pre-Music, so I think I was more than fair). It got justice by the grace of the general stan base. We have found victory today my friends as Flaccid Werther's putrid mission statement has finally been slain. It will live on taking up the spot of better songs on M's tours, but we will always know in our heart of hearts that it is trash.
Lifeline - Our Quen Alongoria made me use it. I'll admit that here to the general public.
But M choosing this as an uninspired tour filler ever since S&S made me sick of it again.
Eevelution - Candy BOP, amirite? Come on y'all lighten up and let this have top 30.
Subomie - Funky and cool, I like that Madonna knows her fans don't like it but brings it out on all the tours since its release. I love her.
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