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Originally posted by GotSkill
This works well as an intro. Although I don’t usually like love or hate themed intros, I can see this easily setting up a P!nk or Kelly like breakup album. Nothing here blew my mind but the entry was solid overall. I would, however, work on your meter a bit.
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That's understandable, by the time, I got to the bridge, I was quite in a hurry to finish it on time because I didn't have a second to write during the weekend. As I love P!nk (although this one was inspired by Marina & the Diamonds), I take this as a huge compliment!
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Originally posted by Hugamari
So the album is about you being a ****, yes? That's the impression I got. Not that it's a bad thing! #noshame I did feel like it was just a &tad* sleazy, but that might be the pull you're looking for. The word choice is a bit off, but I'm going to forgive that for now since I'm not sure who wrote this.
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It's not about being a ****, it's about being an emotionally complicated and ruined person, just like the intro itself. I wanted to clarify that in the bridge, yet it didn't really come through then.
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Originally posted by Sam
I think if you removed the section headers it’d have been a better intro but that’s such a minor thing that I’m going to ignore it. The bridge could be reworked a little I think but I love the pre-chorus and chorus sections and I thought it was a very good entry and with a bit of finessing it could have been a top entry. Nice work.
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I thought Sam would give me my best comments
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Originally posted by lovesong
Works really nicely as an intro, I love the repetition of that one particular section and it leaves the song on an unanswered note for the tracks to follow. Overall it shows promise and I can definitely see great things from you with practice.
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Thank you
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the selection met the right criteria and did well. Welcome To My ****ed Up Heart is such a strong line to end on, perfect way to open up an album. Despite that, I think the pre-chorus could use some tightening up to make it just as strong.
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I completely agree with you - whoever you may be. I had welcome to my f***ed up heart as the first line that I knew I wanted in the song, and built the whol thing around it.
Blue Eyes (Intro)
[Verse]
I’m the breaker of a hundred hearts
I’m the one you wish you never met
I’m the guy who leaves you deeply scarred
I’m the complicated-hearted threat
[Pre-Chorus]
Lying in bed, love is great
Slowly, love turns into hate
When will we just fall apart?
Welcome to my ****ed up heart
[Chorus]
You fell for the monster with charming blue eyes
You don’t see the danger, ‘til deadly, it bites
But take all the kindness, its perfect disguise
And all that remains are the ice cold blue eyes
[Bridge]
But don’t mistaken me to a silly game-maker
Who makes women fall for him, just to break them later
I’m just an eagle, who wants to get free when he’s caged
But wants to go back to his prison after he raged
[Pre-Chorus]
Lying in bed, love is great
Slowly, love turns into hate
When will we just fall apart?
Welcome to my ****ed up heart
Sorry for the long post everyone
Looking forward to the results.
But it’s really good. You’ve executed it quite well… really well, actually. It makes me want to hear the rest of the album (ideally full of post-breakup love songs), which was what the challenge was all about. Lovely work.
At least I have a distinct style 
Taking that as a huge compliment (and Clarkson read my entry and gave me feedback to fix so technically...)
My confident inspired era is upon us