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Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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 Betty Boop (8thPrince)Erotica was a risky choice for everyone because it combines the explicit element with a certain subtlety and class (yeah, Janet was wrong). But you did pull through. When it comes to the quality of the song, it's one of your simplest but it works. It doesn't necessarily stand out among the other entries of the week or among your previous songs, but it's a solid, well executed song.
Does it fit the album? : The postchorus and the bridge are PERFECT for Erotica. The essence of the first verse is also fitting, since it gives me an Erotica vibe with the woman being dominant in a way. I'm afraid the pre-chorus and the chorus don't really resemble the Erotica era in any way, since they're rather cutesy and innocent. It's a good enough, but not perfect fit overall. I would have liked to see you take it all the way and fully cross over to the explicit, sexy side, but I get that it may not be your style.
Different Air (conatus)
It starts off extremely well, better than any of your entries since Mother And Father. The first verse is incredible, not only because I personally relate to it, but also because it's extremely well written and its simplicity works perfectly for it. Then the pre-chorus is really strong. Short, but sweet, with both lines standing out. The chorus is AMAZING, very simple as well, but emotionally, it perfectly describes the feeling of being lost yet on the verge of finding your way. I also liked the simplicity of the 3rd verse
The second verse however felt rather clumsy to me, like a first draft instead of a final submission. I know you're proud of the funeral part, but I'm not sure it works for the song, although I see how it connects with "maybe I'm not dead after all". Also, the "strangers" line throws me off, cause I thought the narrator of the song felt trapped inside his town and wanted to escape, but now apparently he's been on the road so he's not as caged or as in desperate need of light as I thought. I think it lets the song down, which will sound weird to you, since this seems to be your favorite part 
Does it fit the album? : Absolutely. It's a perfect fit.
Gales Of Time (ClarksonSlays)
Probably your best full song yet. It was a beautiful, well written entry that gave me strong Florence teas (nature references was a really smart choice) without coming across as mimicking. The changing choruses was also a good structure idea, it made the song feel really multi-dimensional. I loved the verses too, probably your most advanced vocabulary yet and there was great imagery too. And the bridge was beautiful too, especially the crown line which gave me a great visual for some reason, despite its simplicity.
Now, here's a few things that held you back. First of all, the "given-heaven" rhyme wasn't really well selected. Secondly, I thought the element of fire was a little overused. Fire is too strong of an element (and symbol / image / metaphor etc) to be used too many times in the same song. I also didn't love "greed's fires", it felt a little unnatural as an expression ("the fire of greed" would be better imo). But my main issue was the ending. When your build-up is THIS epic, you have to use your last few lines to make the reader's jaw drop to the floor. Instead, I feel like you let go of your momentum, as "all the excitement in my life" is too cutesy and simplistic compared to the rest of the song. "All the thoughts that rush..." was also a little simplistic and anticlimactic compared to "pride" and "joy". Still, a wonderful entry.
Does it fit the album? : 100%
I Dont Need You (Hugamari)
"You broke me down to nothing to build me how you wanted" is not only your best line but one of the best lines of PH7. Genius, simple, relatable, perfect choice of words, insert similar stanning terms. The whole first verse is probably your best work. I also thought the spoken bridge was INCREDIBLE and a smart idea! I also appreciated how different this song was compared to your previous work. It evokes a lot of inner power and vulnerability at the same time, I loved that!
Now, for the parts I didn't like : when I read the "endeavors" line, I was like whyyyyy  It was a very forced rhyme and it also didn't make sense because "endeavor" is usually a positive (or at least neutral) term, but you seem to use it with a negative connotation (despite his endeavors, you're back together). I also did detect a few cliches here and there (the "lies" line, the "control" line) and a few repetitions that I didn't necessarily need ("you got inside my head" - "you got into my mind", "I believed all that you said" - "told me lies and I believed it". Other than that, a job well done!
Does it fit the album? : Here's the thing. In a way, this song is already on the album. It's a mixture of Make Over, Fighter and Underappreciated. Not that this was wrong or inappropriate for the challenge of course.
In Your Hand (JustLuke)
The first verse is, along with your round 7 entry and some parts of your comeback song, your best work in the contest! The chorus and the second verse were solid for the most part. A bit generic, but not necessarily in a bad way, they were well done. Some lines messed it up though. "Life is something you can't plan" was really wordy and rather juvenile and the "understand" line didn't really make sense to me and it wasn't strong enough to be the last line of the chorus. "Existence is your history" also didn't make much sense to me and the "make it - emit" rhytme wasn't the strongest. The bridge didn't necessarily stand out to me and was kind of cliche, so I'll leave it at that.
Overall, it wasn't a bad entry and it was better than your round 2 - round 5 work, which is great and it means you improved! But, if I can offer some advice, try to think that most people have already heard some sort of empowerment song, so you can't make an impression on them / us by just rehashing the cliches, no matter how well you rhyme them and stucture them. That was the main problem of the entry.
Does it fit the album? : It has a Firework vibe, but overall, TD is not so much about empowerment as it is about carelessness and fun and even some more personal tracks towards the end of the album, so I'm not sure where this would fit.
Keep Me Satisfied (GotSkill)
This is possibly your first entry that doesn't have any standout lines. It was a pretty quick process, so it's not crafted carefully enough to produce memorable bits. Other than that, it works. Your best entry? Nope. The best entry of the week? Nope. But it's also not the worst by any means and given that it was written in under an hour with, seemingly, little to no actual motivation, that might keep you satisfied...?
Does it fit the album? : Perfect fit. It has Amy's nonchalant attitude and the whiskey stain on the sheets gives it an extra Amy-ness too
King (lovesong)
This song masters the craft of being Beyonce more than the actual Beyonce ever has. It embodies everything self-titled represents (sex, power, dominance, passion, rawness, love, self discovery, confusion) without mixing them awkwardly. Each theme is carefully showcased without overshadowing the others and it just all comes together. The bridge is my personal favorite because it combines the sexual parts of the song with the introspective, personal side of the song. And the chorus would be good enough to make this a single (with no promo and no official radio release cause it's Queen Bey)
Now, the only thing I didn't like is the part before the instrumental. The first 7 lines were a little awkward and cliche and kind of too in your face. You need to build some more momentum before putting your legs on his neck baby, it was a little too much for an intro. Other than that, possibly your best entry.
Does it fit the album? : YOU ****ING NAILED IT 
Land Of The Green (EuphorianSea)
The pre-chorus was so great  The whole song has a great emotional balance. It's not overdramatic, it's just really well put together. It's also really poetic. It's kind of the old EuphorianSea style meeting the new, improved PH7 technique you've been using in your rhymes and meter. Which is the best of both worlds.
Does it fit the album? : 100 ****ing percent
Silver Lining (Era)
I don't know where to start with this, it's just...
This song is basically the ultimate proof that less is more. Your brand of simplicity, uncontrived storytelling and everyday vocabulary is so irresistibly appealing and in this entry, you mastered it. You've been building this particular style for a while and this is its ultimate peak. I don't have much more to say... You nailed it
Does it fit the album? : Absolutely. You used Taylor's ability to tell simplistic, relatable stories in a natural way!
Tombstone (keshaspearsxo)
Hmm... This will suck as a review. There's nothing particularly good or bad about it. It's a solid song that won't place you in the top 3 or in the bottom 3. None of the lines stood out to me in a good or in a bad way. I have no particular criticism for it because, other than the not so stable line being too wordy and sounding off to me, there was nothing wrong with it.
Does it fit the album? : Yes, topic wise and lyrically it does!
Top Level (Sam)
It wasn't bad. It is clear that it's a pop songwriter trying to write a rap song, but it's not bad. The second verse was the best one, mainly because I think female rap is more accessible to pop fans, so it was less against your usual stuff. The first verse was probably your worst work in the contest, but the rest of the song was better, so it's an overall ok entry.
Does it fit the album? : Nope, not even close. Kanye has a darkness, grit, passion and honesty to his lyrics that you didn't reach. This is a rap song, but not a Kanye song. Sure, he brags a lot and talks about religion, but there's a deeper level to who he is than what you represented, possibly because you're not really checking for him that much.
Wooden Heart (inuborg)
There's some good and some bad moments throughout the song. Some of the first verse was a little awkward and contrived to me, like the atheist and plagiarist lines. The crucifix and coffin references are pretty standard for this type of song, but they fit the Fallen theme, so why not? I really loved the pre-chorus though and the chorus was simple, but effective. I also liked the imagery on the second verse a lot, it was much better than the imagery of the first verse.
Does it fit the album? : It pretty much does. You did say in your explanation that you took a slightly different approach, which I appreciated for the most part.
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now-ow
Flew me to places I'd never been
Till you put me down! (Oh!)
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me no-ow
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground!
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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I'm scared to click 
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Nnnn I took a peek and I saw
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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Quote:
It starts off extremely well, better than any of your entries since Mother And Father. The first verse is incredible, not only because I personally relate to it, but also because it's extremely well written and its simplicity works perfectly for it. Then the pre-chorus is really strong. Short, but sweet, with both lines standing out. The chorus is AMAZING, very simple as well, but emotionally, it perfectly describes the feeling of being lost yet on the verge of finding your way. I also liked the simplicity of the 3rd verse
The second verse however felt rather clumsy to me, like a first draft instead of a final submission. I know you're proud of the funeral part, but I'm not sure it works for the song, although I see how it connects with "maybe I'm not dead after all". Also, the "strangers" line throws me off, cause I thought the narrator of the song felt trapped inside his town and wanted to escape, but now apparently he's been on the road so he's not as caged or as in desperate need of light as I thought. I think it lets the song down, which will sound weird to you, since this seems to be your favorite part
Does it fit the album? : Absolutely. It's a perfect fit.
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Nn. Oops.
Thank you, though. 
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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In regards to verse 2, I was trying to show how the narrator tries to take the opportunity and get out for a little while every now and then but it's only temporary, but I guess I just didn't convey that well enough.
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Quote:
The pre-chorus was so great The whole song has a great emotional balance. It's not overdramatic, it's just really well put together. It's also really poetic. It's kind of the old EuphorianSea style meeting the new, improved PH7 technique you've been using in your rhymes and meter. Which is the best of both worlds.
Does it fit the album? : 100 ****ing percent
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WHEW
I was actually scared it wouldn't fit the album because I took more of a Ride/BTD route than a Cola/National Anthem one.
Yassss the pre-chorus is my fave part as well
I'm so glad omg. I definitely notice the difference between my old and new styles. My old style was a lot more raw and "imperfect", which is something I admire in songwriting so I tried to mesh that in.
aif;kasmd thank you
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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I can totally see why it's like a mix of things already on Stripped, but...Even Xtina rehashed her own songs on that album. I think she covered all the bases a few times over, so adding something new to that was really daunting. I can also see your point with the repetition. That's a problem I seem to always have - saying everything I wanted to before the end of the second verse.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,615
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omg I NEED to see King
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 8,787
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Thank you SO much TT!
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Member Since: 2/15/2010
Posts: 26,154
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s @ no1 caring for my hints. What kinda Xtina @ The Voice treatment
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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Quote:
Originally posted by 8thPrince
omg I NEED to see King |
It is SO good.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
I can totally see why it's like a mix of things already on Stripped, but...Even Xtina rehashed her own songs on that album. I think she covered all the bases a few times over, so adding something new to that was really daunting. I can also see your point with the repetition. That's a problem I seem to always have - saying everything I wanted to before the end of the second verse.
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Do NOT get me started on that bitch and her fillers 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Matty's reviews will be ready any minute btw
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Quote:
Originally posted by Golden
s @ no1 caring for my hints. What kinda Xtina @ The Voice treatment
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Nobody thinks they'll make the Top 3 and nobody wants to be the Bottom 3
Also, your opinion doesn't matter neither does your "score"
But continue to root for me sis! I won't dissapoint
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Quote:
Originally posted by Golden
s @ no1 caring for my hints. What kinda Xtina @ The Voice treatment
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That's what you get for using Taylor songs for the bottom songs
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