[Jackson]

Originally posted by Truth Teller

That scares me a bit

[Jezang Looz]

Originally posted by Truth Teller

It takes 12-13 weeks actually

I'd love for you to join. I think I already PM'ed you earlier

Alright I joined, but mess at you having so many people already I never entered PH before so not really sure what to expect but I'll give it a try.

Originally posted by Hugamari

Yes, I'd love for you to join, Jezang~ Even if you don't make it far, it's wonderful practice and you get helpful advice! It really is an amazing experience if you want to improve on writing.

I actually felt like I learned a lot just from judging last season. I got to look at other people's entries and I found what worked and what didn't, and new forms of effective writing styles. I am so hyped to try it out this season!

That's good! I saw you entered it looks like we're competition broo I don't play nice so GL

[Mezik]

I wrote a rough draft of a song tonight, basically it's my experience of breaking up with my ex-boyfriend being told through a third person point of view.

Flames Never End

Verse 1
You wake up beside her
All feelings remaining the same
Spent the last seven months by her side
But there was an eerie presence that day
The way she talks and,
How her smile suddenly turned to a frown
And how her eyes don't beam up
They they once did, hints something is wrong now

Chorus
And when it's all crashing down,
Suddenly lovers turn to just friends
Oh. don't you lose your spirits
Love's flames will never end
And though it feels hard
And like you have nothing left to defend
Gotta just keep moving on
You'll see love's flames never end

Verse 2
Days, weeks and months pass by
Still trying to stay strong
But it's simple things that remind you of her
Such as hearing, her once cheerful song
You won't feel healed for so long
You're gonna feel lost for a while
It'll be tough and take some time
But you're gonna find new reasons to smile

Chorus

Bridge
And it's in our darkest moments
We find out who we are
You can feel defeated and weak
Or find the will to carry on

Chorus

Hope you enjoy.

[Hugamari]

Bumped + new thread title.

[Aurora]

Never would I have thought that Little Birds would receive so much acclaim. I joked at receiving an 85+ Metascore to conatus, but I ended up with 89. #Jaybirds

[Buyonce1814]

What rhymes with "go"?

"I know you didn’t ask to go
Life gave a blow
How am I supposed to cope?"

I need a better line to replace "Life gave a blow" because that's tacky as ****.

[Buyonce1814]

This is something I wrote years ago to the tune of Petals by Mariah.

I often stared to space
And wondered if the stars could guide me
I always think if I deserved to have a perfect family
The duckling that lost its gravity
Ugly lost out in sea
A dandelion blown out in wind
The flower wilted and lost its spring

And I wish that I could avoid this twister
I see now that I never tried to understand my sister
And just know that I'll never stop. I'll always love ya
I wish that you and me could have worked together

I fled to save my sanity
A butterfly spreading its wings
The shoes I left contain my prints
But the path is gone and the trace is clean

And I wish that I could have had the perfect mother
I know that I always tried to always love her
And I wish I didn't despise the perfect brother
And I wish I didn't leave behind my heavenly father

A little boy befriended me
I loved him more than my own offspring
Though he stole my family
He always was my centre ring

And I hope you know my love will always hover
I hope you'll grow up and understand why I left ya
I think that I'll come back so don't you bother
To look for me because you have another.

So many things I wanted
But they were out of reach
Time and time again I cried
And prayed and tried to believe
But each time He bailed on me
And said wait patiently
But every time I waited I would break down my knees
I know that I deserve better
And I'm so happy
That I could leave and become all that
I want to achieve
I will not stop until I know I'm the king
I will walk until I have everything

========================

It's riddled with cliches but I re-discovered it recently read it back and it still makes me emotional.

[Nait Phoenix]

Just preparing for the update…

The Monster

https://soundcloud.com/nait_phoenix/the-monster


First Verse:
(You wanna trust) every word that comes out of your mouth is what you're really thinkin' 'bout
(You wanna trust) what you say is always okay and laced without any doubt
But, are you sure you're not holding back to please the ones that judge you?
(You wanna trust) who you know, you've known them before, they'd never steer you off-track
(You wanna trust) every friend you'll know 'til the end since they've always had your back
But, don't be sure they're not using and abusing just to **** you over…

Pre-Chorus:
(Do you believe) that we're good inside?
(Are you decieved) by a vicious lie?
(Are we alone) or is there someone to always hold you down? Take you down? Break you down?

Chorus:
Don't trust the monster!
The one who's holding back the truth
The one who isn't there for what good for you
Don't trust the monster!
He will hurt you any way
Never listen to whatever he might say

[ceremonials]

Critique ha

DARK SKIES

Gone, on your own to find yourself again
What you looking for? Won't find in a bottle of gin
A perfect storm has been brewing since you took your love away
And since you left all these dark skies won't go away
Made a mess, "did your best", and I knew you'd never stay
I just hope I can see the sunlight again someday
Please, I just don't want it to rain forever.
And can you blame me for that? And are you any better?
And I don't know if I can wait here forever
So if you love me, let me know, and it might change our weather
Hoping even if the clouds are rolling in, we could own these dark skies together
But clearly I was foolish and I should've known better

So I let the flood waters run high
To wash away all the lies. And away all the spite.
And let the fire in me ignite, but when the waves came too high
That's when i finally realized that I don't need no more lonely nights
And I don't need no dark skies. And I don't need no dark skies. And I don't need no dark skies

Making the best of the rest, of the rest of what you left me.
I know that my heart is heavy, but that's no reason to behead me.
You rip my heart right out my chest, just to watch me bleed to death.
You always say that you hate exactly what you have become.
You've become the very thing you set out to run from.
But the maybe if you come back then the world can see the sun again
And maybe we won't ever have to see these dark skies flooding in again

(Chorus x2)

[Pecinta Mariah]

Originally posted by complexion

Critique ha

DARK SKIES

Gone, on your own to find yourself again
What you looking for? Won't find in a bottle of gin
A perfect storm has been brewing since you took your love away
And since you left all these dark skies won't go away
Made a mess, "did your best", and I knew you'd never stay
I just hope I can see the sunlight again someday
Please, I just don't want it to rain forever.
And can you blame me for that? And are you any better?
And I don't know if I can wait here forever
So if you love me, let me know, and it might change our weather
Hoping even if the clouds are rolling in, we could own these dark skies together
But clearly I was foolish and I should've known better

So I let the flood waters run high
To wash away all the lies. And away all the spite.
And let the fire in me ignite, but when the waves came too high
That's when i finally realized that I don't need no more lonely nights
And I don't need no dark skies. And I don't need no dark skies. And I don't need no dark skies

Making the best of the rest, of the rest of what you left me.
I know that my heart is heavy, but that's no reason to behead me.
You rip my heart right out my chest, just to watch me bleed to death.
You always say that you hate exactly what you have become.
You've become the very thing you set out to run from.
But the maybe if you come back then the world can see the sun again
And maybe we won't ever have to see these dark skies flooding in again

(Chorus x2)

which part is the chorus?

[ceremonials]

Originally posted by Pecinta Mariah

which part is the chorus?

The second part. I probably should have put that. In the process of mending the second verse though cause I hate it!

What about this one?

EMPIRE

(Verse 1)

One shot, two shot, three for the empire
Make, make you bow down til your knees tired
Gon, gon smack ya down if ya respond
Bet you won't clapback. Bet you're too proud.
Said you were chilling at the top but where are you now?
Thought you were slick? Or you Think I'm dumb now?
They said "Don't mess with King,",
but you clearly didn't listen
So you better know how to lie if you think any different

(Chorus)

SOME WANT MONEY. SOME WANT FAME.
MOST JUST WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THEIR NAME.
ME, I JUST WANT LOVE & POWER.
BABY, WE ARE THE CONQUERERS.
THE WORLD IS OURS.

(Hook)

I just want a golden, golden empire.
I just want a golden, golden empire.
I just want a golden, golden empire.

(Verse)

The world is ours. The world is ours for the taking.
In the palm of our hands, yeah and we're still banking.
Empire five continents wide, yeah and we're still slaying
They'll be hating, all that matters is we keep assimilating
And we are the conquerors. Best believe we gon keep taking
Rainmaking, and it's still pouring
Reign taking, and Im still soaring
So if it's up to me I'm gon keep scoring.
And if it's up to me this crowds gon keep roarin

[Chorus]

(Bridge)

And now the rest is on you
Said its all about what you do
And if you don't change nothing
Nothing will change for you
And if you don't wanna spend your life living low
Then you gotta push hard. Gotta just shut up and go.
And don't ever look back. You don't need no backfire.
Let all the bricks they've thrown at you build your golden empire.
And when you get tired, know you lived worthwhile.
Hope you know that now. Time to claim your crown

[Nait Phoenix]

Need to bump to find this thread. It's disappearing every week…

[Jackson]

Originally posted by Nait Phoenix

Need to bump to find this thread. It's disappearing every week…

Platinum Hit ha never ending impact

[Saint]

******** song

Drowning

The ground under me is caving in
I no longer know where to begin
Pounding, crashing, one after one
Waves pulling me under, its almost done

One by one, then two, then three
As the moon starts rise the less you'll see
One by one, then two, then three
Waves grow bigger as they crash over me

And I'm drowning, drowning
Drowning in the pain of not knowing
Drowning cause my life isn’t going
Loves no longer flowing
I'm drowning, drowning
Drowning to make the pain go away
Drowning cause I can no longer take...this

.

[Jaxswim]

If I post the bridge from the first song I've wrote that I've been working on, would anyone mind telling me if it's **** or not?

[Nait Phoenix]

Originally posted by Jaxswim

If I post the bridge from the first song I've wrote that I've been working on, would anyone mind telling me if it's **** or not?

I am SO SORRY that it's this late responding to this… I would love to see your bridge!

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

BTW, I'm going to post the song that got me kicked out of Platinum Hit this season, "A Part of Me"…


https://soundcloud.com/nait_phoenix/a-part-of-me

Lyrics

First Verse:
A part of me's not alright with it
And a part of me is okay
But a part of me's yelling way out front
"Boy, you're never gonna get away!"
A part of me says "It's all too real"
And a part of me says "A dream"
So, part of me's very calm and cool
While the other part just wants to scream

Second Verse:
"They're always watching you"
"Make sure you counter every move"
"They're always watching you"
"They're here to throw you off your groove"
"You cannot get away"
"No matter where you turn or hide"
"They're always watching you"
"So, you better just stay inside"

Third Verse:
A part of me is imagining
That this drama will never last
But a part of me grabbed me by the tail
Said "You're stupid if you buy that jazz"
A part of me is still ignorant
And a part of me is high-strung
So, a part of me is nearing his end
And a part of me has "just begun"

Fourth Verse:
"Boy, they're not watching you"
"You gotta chill the hell out, dude"
"It's not them watching you"
"That's got you in a panicked mood"
"Your over-thinking things"
"Is gonna put you in a home"
"Boy, they're not watching you"
"So, best you leave these things alone"

Chorus:
Into the unknown
I'm left to fend off on my own
No signal, no phone
Life is a constant busy tone
I'm afraid of what might come to me
Within the dead of night
One sucker is all they need
To possibly whet their appetite

Rap:
Time's ticking at a breakneck pace
Like commonplace
So back it up and give me space
I can't erase
The past, because it's far too late
I keep on moving while I'm doing
Too much on my plate
It goes by so fast
It hardly ever last
I think I'm far enough, but suddenly
They're on my ass
I'm making progress but it's not enough
To make it pass
To make it through
To make it up and do the do
Ain't that the truth
I wish someone could help me out
But I put my own foot in my mouth
So I gotta face facts, deal deals
Get a life and get real
'Fore I make a new mistake and I'm
Wesley sniping alibis

Chorus:
Into the unknown
I'm left to fend off on my own
No signal, no phone
Life is a constant busy tone
I'm afraid of what might come to me
Within the dead of night
One sucker is all they need
To possibly whet their appetite

Fifth Verse:
A part of me's born a fighter strong
And a part of me is a brain
So the only part left knows right from wrong
Says these basket cases are insane

Hope you enjoy. The judges didn't.

[gagacasanova]

I just wrote my first song in 9 months. It's my own personal "Bad Blood."

The creativity drought is done for. ^_^

[conatus]

Never posted in here before, but hello. Platinum Hit has made me rekindle my love for songwriting.

[Jackson]

Huga needs to update the title... or not because Katy promo

[Aurora]

Yes, "My Paradise" needs its time in the spotlight. Poor whatever ClarksonSlays' song was called.