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Originally posted by feelslikeadream
GotSkill - Candlelight : The chorus is great (though I think some punctuation would have helped make it easier to read) and it has a strong concept. I like a chorus variation, but I think your new chorus at the end is weaker and the “hopelessly bland” feels flat and forced to me. I think the second half of the 1st verse feels a bit cheap. And please label the parts of your songs in the future.
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The second half of the first verse was all about flow and using poetic devices as opposed to being lyrically sound which is probably why it came across like that. And I agree, I couldn't tell if I loved or hated the hopelessly bland line but it was the one unpolished lyric in my song and I thought it would be good to have one line like that.
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Originally posted by time is the ultimate Truth Teller
Candelight (GotSkill) : I liked the escalation in this and the last part was a great way to end the song. I also liked the storyline. Execution wise, it was weaker than your previous entries, but you already know that.
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I'm not entirely sure what you meant by execution wise. I definitely didn't work quite as hard on this one though so if that's what you meant. And I guess instead of trying to be more creative or original this round I just wrote a classic GotSkill song
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Originally posted by Tymps
Candlelight (GotSkill) : I love, love, love the line “Only good for a one night stand”. The whole song but especially that line perfectly encapsulates a feeling of hopelessness and self-hate. That idea is so powerful, that idea that with remorse someone admits they are only good for a one night stand. I don’t know that really got me. In different context that line would not be so special. Good job.
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Thanks, that's probably a line I was struggling the most with then I just said **** it and let my song go full dark. And I definitely relate a lot with my song so that hopelessness and self hate is something I actually felt once (not now ofc)
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Originally posted by MattyTacos
Candlelight : I thought this was a great song that definitely had a lot of emotion in it. My favorite part was by far the chorus.
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Well it is my most personal song yet so I'm glad you felt that
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Originally posted by Bloomers
Candlelight - I always like reading your entries. There's really not much to say for me about the structure of the song. It felt on the folky or acoustic side to me and I liked the tone of it. I gotta say that I loved how you used the candle theme, it felt natural, and I especially loved the outro. The only thing I would say is that some of your language here felt a little too showy and slightly out of place for the more straight-forward emotions on display here (I get what you were going for with the pyromaniac line for example, but the rhyme in context does feel slightly forced and the word too large and technical to fit). These lines are few and far between though in a great entry.
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I'll keep that criticism in mind, I just try to combine art with emotion (my ARTPOP tbh) and sometime I lose one side of it if I try too hard on the other. Glad you and seemingly all the other judges liked it!
I just thought of all the ATRLers posting "Daddy!" in every post about a hot slightly older celebrity. I should have given this a 10.
Tidal Wave
