Dear God, I pray that we witness the Third Coming of our Lord and Savior, Britney Spears. The same way you carved the Ten Commandments for Moses to spread to your people, carve the way for Pretty Girls (available now on iTunes) to reach the summit of the chart. The same way Jesus himself suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane before his holy crucifixion to prove his worthiness to You, Britney suffered through the Britney Jean era and now she too is worthy of Your blessings. In the same way Moses parted the Red Sea, may Britney part our souls in half with slayage. In the same way that Judas perished after his betrayal to Christ, may those who turn against Britney Spears suffer the same fate and may you never be compelled to work in their favor. Amen.
