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Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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You awake my spirit, there are no limits
We could jump over the moon
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Dance Like We're Making Love is good but the chorus prevents it from being great, it needs a bigger feeling chorus, a la "Love Me Like You Do".
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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 Part 2Drip Drip - Faith : I absolutely loved the concept you chose. Very daring, very honest, very unexpected. It effortlessly stood out among the other entries. The execution could have been a bit better, since some of the lines felt overly ordinary and simplistic, but I thought simplicity was a good approach for such a polarizing topic. I also wish the chorus was as strong as the last line of the song, which was stunning and very well written, as were the first 4 lines of the song.
MileyCyrusStan - Fancy : I liked how you twisted the title and made a song about NOT being fancy, that was creative and pleasant to read  The chorus was also a very good, strong, catchy chorus. The verses and pre-chorus however were rather sloppy and, vocabulary wise, quite juvenile.
Keshafied - Fantasy : The song started out very well. The pace wasn't perfect, but the vocabulary choices and the overall vibe you created were amazing. The rhyming was tight and carefully made throughout the verse and the pre-chorus followed the same high standard and also added intensity and emphasizes the storyline. The chorus however was a big issue. I loved your transition in meter from the long lines of the verse to the average lines of the pre-chorus to the short lines of the chorus. It creates the feeling of escalation, urgency and climax, which is though to achieve in a short song. I just wish the actual lyrics of the chorus were better. Rhyming dreams with dreams and using that particular explicit word were missteps.
Eros - Firework : Wow  This was a truly incredible entry, I was speechless while reading. First of all, you had one of the strongest (maybe even the strongest) chorusese of round 2. And the pre-chorus leads to it in such a flawless way too, so the 1-2 punch is real  The rhyming was incredible and professional and so was the meter and all the other technicalities I don't even need to mention in your case. My only problem with this song is the choice of 2 pretty pedestrian lines in the verse : legit and cup. Other than that, I have nothing else to point out.
Sam - Happy : I love reading entries with flawless rhythm and meter. They're extremely easy to read and flow well. This song is basically ready to be sang over an instrumental, there are 0 pace issues in it. The verse and the pre-chorus were also excellently worded, especially line #4, one of the most impressive of the round. The 1-2 punch of your amazing verse and your equally amazing pre-chorus was one of the highlights of the round. Unfortunately, the chorus fell short. The "child - worthwile" rhyme was not my favorite and the "cry" line was a less intriguing, poetic end to the song than I was hoping for. It was also much less thrilling than the verse and pre-chorus that led to it, which probably made it look weaker than it actually is.
conatus - I'll Be Missing You : ugh, the chorus was everything  You really know how to write and structure a song, which is important and makes your entries very pleasant to read. There are no noticeable flaws in meter, rhythm or rhyming throughout the song, minus "me - history" All I can say as a shortcoming is that the verse and pre-chorus revisited the theme of your first entry, which I was afraid would happen, although Get To Heaven was good enough to get a sequel. I also felt that the verse and pre-chorus could have had some stronger lines to really push the song higher, but it's overall a great entry
ClarksonSlays - Irreplacable : quality wise, the structure of this song is what I call "the sandwich". All the quality is in the middle, but you have to eat the rest as well to taste the good part. The "ago-plateau" was an awkward way to start, but you soon recovered, since all the other lines of the verse are exceptionally worded, rhymed and executed. And then it was time for the chorus, which was basically a collection of words that end with "able" and I'm positively sure you can do miles better than that. I'm sure you'll bring it next week though!
ForeverNow90 : Just Give Me A Reason : as your highest scorer in round 1, I'm utterly disappointed by this entry. It's very sloppy and it makes no impact. It only has 10 lines, but somehow all of them are filler lines, built around love song cliches. And I have the right to go hard on you because my score saved you in round 1, so, since 12 contestants had to go for you to stay, I expected you to put in more effort.
dwuw - Like A Prayer : Great entry, a major improvement over Run. Most of the chorus flows well and feels anthemic and eloquent. The pre-chorus is short, but sweet and the religious references were balanced and well selected. There are two shortcomings : 1) you didn't really use the title inside the song, 2) the rhyming and syllab stressing in the verse needed a little more work.
Musickid203 - Live Your Life : Ugh, brilliant concept I loved your choice of topic, cause "Live Your Life" could have been a generic positive empowerment song (like the original  ), but you turned it into so much more than that All I have to point out is that the Disney and Chad lines were a little too comedic for the personal and serious vibe of the song and that some of the rhymes (clothes - shadows, college - closet) could have been more polished
theus - Love The Way You Lie : I loved the way you twisted the title. However, the verse lost its pace and meter after the 4th line and there were many mistakes throughout the song that could have been prevented with some proofreading, just like last time. The song has a good concept, but it lacks the necessary technicalities (meter, rhythm, rhyming) that could bring that concept to life.
Saint - Magic : It's really a shame that the timing wasn't right. You have a pretty hectic schedule right now. I wish I could have seen your true potential. I won't say anything specific about the song cause you already seem to disown it, but I'll just say that, while it is just as bad as you think it is, it's definitely not the worst entry I read this week. If we were having fewer eliminations, you'd probably stick around.
skwonderfactory - Nothing Compares 2 U : Baby, why? There are no standout lines, you rhymed the same words with one another and the verse has no pace. The syllabes pattern of the verse is 16, 14, 7, 7, 17, 18, 9, 6)
swiftie13 - Rapture : I have to give you credit for your great imagery. On first read, the images of rain, evaporation, mountains and stars, combined with the advanced vocabulary, create an incredible vibe. On second read however, it becomes clear that these images and fancy words lack the consistent rhyming and meter as well as the clarity and conceptual coherency that they need in order to become a good song. Also, some of those aforementioned fancy words were not appropriate for the meaning of the respective lyrics (cosigned, conjure, "we've been prayed"). The pre-chorus is beautiful and so is the general vibe of the song though and, for round 2, it's a great entry.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Where is part 2
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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Quote:
Originally posted by Truth Teller
Watch Me Rise, U and Time is the trinity. Good album  |
I think you misspelled Comatose, Burning Doves & Mourning Doves
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Against all odds III realiiiise my eyyyes are dryyy
With love that could fill a room
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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You didn't lie when you said there would be essays
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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People either love or hate the chorus of Irreplaceable  And the plateau dragging continuing
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Stuck On You is okay, feels uneventful though. 
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Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 21,185
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@ those mixed reviews to LTWYL, my R8 era is coming
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Quote:
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dwuw - Like A Prayer : Great entry, a major improvement over Run. Most of the chorus flows well and feels anthemic and eloquent. The pre-chorus is short, but sweet and the religious references were balanced and well selected. There are two shortcomings : 1) you didn't really use the title inside the song, 2) the rhyming and syllab stressing in the verse needed a little more work.
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Yassss @ this good review.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 5,341
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Yas, TT said my song was solid.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Stuck On You is okay, feels uneventful though. |
That's actually the only track I LOVE on first listen. 
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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quality wise, the structure of this song is what I call "the sandwich".
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Woo now I'm feeling a BLT
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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I'll go to the chapel, to my favorite place.
I'll bite your apple, and I'll pray for grace.
Is this a parable or realityyyyyyyy?
My brain is falling into miseryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by theus
@ those mixed reviews to LTWYL, my R8 era is coming |
R8 is legendary in so many ways. Only 1,000 levels of impact away from potentially almost being the new Bionic
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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Quote:
Originally posted by EuphorianSea
Woo now I'm feeling a BLT
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My sandwich review slaying 
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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MESS. So I'm definitely getting eliminated. It's been fun though.
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Nnn the struggle when you a write a song and pretend you don't know anything about it so you can edit it correctly
I always forget that the judges aren't me and they didn't write my song ngl
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by Obsession
Yas, TT said my song was solid.
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