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Tournament: PLΔTINUM HIT 7
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Quote:
Originally posted by posh
Everything Rih has released this era has been timeless.
Unlike most artists today who just shoot out generic singles (ie. Trouble), Rih is releasing music she'll be able to perform in 10, 15 years from now, and still love them.
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Agreed. I haven't stanned harder for Rih since the short WHYB era 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 41,181
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Bloomers' reviews
 Part 1A Hug - Kudos for taking a different approach with your entry. I feel like writing a song like this wouldn't be the first idea that comes to mind. It's regretful and affecting, but I'm not sure that there's enough of the story here to truly get into. I'm also not a big fan of the repeating phrase in the verse, but I'd love to see the complete song.
Baby We're Through - Your opening line is an understatement no? The person on the other side of the relationship is a taker and seems to be driving the singer up the wall. The "Are you playing games with me line?" feels a little obvious also in context. Granted these lines could be delivered in a tongue-in-cheek way, but I don't get that that was the purpose. Also, everything in the song has been said before and you could benefit from a fresh line, but overall you did get the point across and the song does work
Beep Beep - The sillier title had me worried, my first thought was of the roadrunner in Looney Tunes and I was slightly crestfallen that the song wasn't about the love-hate relationship between roadrunner and coyote. Jokes aside, I liked the song. "Beep beep" could just work as a nice hook and I like the rivarly angle between the more practical subject of the song and her (or his?) more dressed up rival. I also liked how the song had a clear personality, so well done there. I'm not sure why someone walking or running would say "beep beep" though and that is an issue that could keep listeners of this song up at night
Box - The word choice in the beginning gives the song a claustrophobic feeling which is great but the central metaphor feels a bit unfocused as the song progresses and the "hot war/cold war" word play comes across as slightly forced. Great start though, I liked the overall atmosphere, it could be epic!
Break A String - That Police/Puff Daddy (whichever you like) reference is a bold move to open with. If you use lines like that, lines that are already tied to a well-known and established hit, you prety much have to make sure they're being used in a novel way. Also, try not to force some rhymes (sin, violin). But overall, I liked the message of letting go, and just taking life as it comes
Breath - The usage of "amends" doesn't really work here and some of the grammar is difficult to understand but there is a mysterious darkness that is intriguing.
Can't Let You Go - It was a different song than I expected from the title to be honest. It actually comes across as a fun up-tempo song. Some of the lyrics are a bit inconsistent: why would this head-over-heals in love singer be "sad" as he admits in the last line of the verse. Overall solid though
Castle Of Dreams - This song is definitely original and the fantasy approach is interesting. I liked how it was a different spin on a break-up song. The singer wants the relationship to end because he or she is damaged and believes he or she will ruin his or her partner. The singer is hard on himself and that might make the song a bit of a turn-off to some and the song is a downer, but it's well-done, unique, and interesting with a distinctive voice.
Ceiling Of Fate - That title is great. There are a couple solid lines and I liked some imagery but the rhythm felt slightly off in a couple places.
Dancing Stripper - I love everything about the title. The verse is short but perfect as well. Boom Boom! My only issue is you seem to be going for a trashy dumb fun song and the 4th and 5th lines of the chorus are phrased too intelligently, it takes me out of the mood of the song a bit (the word "prefer" comes across as a couple grade levels above the rest of the lyrics.
Deadly Crime - It's pretty dark and heavy and could be interpreted a couple different ways as far as I can see. The chorus is a little weak and you could tighten it up and improve the flow.
Dear God - The song is clearly on the passionate side. There is also great build in the song's tension in the song leading up to the chorus. I do feel that the transition between prechorus and chorus could be more streamlined though. The pre-chorus ends on "Cry to the divine," the chorus could start with a cry for more cohesiveness. It's a minor preference on my part though. Great start to a song!
Empty Thoughts - The song kind of wanders from thought to thought. It goes from pain to the card analogy, to talking about trust in the verse to speaking of waste in the chorus. You pick up and drop rhyming patters and it all comes across as scattered; but thinking about it, I guess it all makes sense when put it all together with the song title. I would say you might be getting a little too abstract if this was your intent. I like the approach though.
Get To Heaven - A very consistent entry. Your word choice was great and that church-related imagery really brings the song together. Heavenly!
Good Girl - I loved the comfortable sheets line (Katy's impact on the use of "freak" though). It's surprisingly way raunchier than I would have imagined. The last line of the chorus: "but the love below" feels incomplete even with the explanation. Also, I don't necessairly think you need an explanation. The lyrics should tell the story there.
I Almost Do - I think the phrase is "hang your head in defeat." A solid entry, but a bit familiar... Although I am interested in the story the song is telling.
Iggy Fantastic - Ok I say the song title and this was the song I was most excited to read! I was not disappointed. I love Intergalactic, it's my favorite Beastie songs and an all-time favorite of mine. I was borederline in tears at the Buick line and I could hear almost all the lines spat in her authentic southern drawl (that lunar eclipse line was inspired). It may not be the most well-written song (very meta of you ) with a chorus that's little bit of a stretch, but I was entertained by the ridiculousness. You may have have made Iggy jump the shark, but you made her jump it in in an Iggy Fantastic way! Although, I think you should have stuck with something in your own voice, since I still have little idea what that is.
It's My Life - The verse is fun in a Last Friday Night way (I chuckled a bit in a good way), the chorus feels like Bad Kids (and is great). The verse feels a bit incomplete though, also the verb tense in the verse is a bit inconsistent and that makes it feel a little disjointed though.
Half Of Me - Watch the verb tense. The verse is mostly in the past tense but the "I do not want to be found" line sounds out of place because its in the present tense. I thought you were also going to go with a plant metaphor at first with the "bud" and "underground" metaphor and I'm not too sure where you were going with "bud" lyric now that I think about it, but I get the overall sentiment and that's communicated well.
Kingdom - I feel a John Mayer influence on this one. The lyrics are a bit ridiculous, but in a very entertaining way and I'm going to assume that was intentional. A couple lines feel a little forced (territory/story), but were overall well done. I think you overcome that and walk the fine line between endearingly goofy and sleazy.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,055
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Where are the 3 other judges?
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Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
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Quote:
Originally posted by posh
Everything Rih has released this era has been timeless.
Unlike most artists today who just shoot out generic singles (ie. Trouble), Rih is releasing music she'll be able to perform in 10, 15 years from now, and still love them.
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I agRih 
I've never been a huge fan, but I'm loving everything about this era.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 59,202
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pecinta Mariah
justluke's avi  |
Whats wrong with it 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 34,846
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Omg forgot to send.
That's so Kaeli
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bey_Rihstan
Omg forgot to send.
That's so Kaeli
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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Quote:
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Ceiling Of Fate - That title is great. There are a couple solid lines and I liked some imagery but the rhythm felt slightly off in a couple places.
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ff I'm always serving with my song titles  thanks tho!
The pressure builds but I ride the train is probably my fave line 
A moth to a flame, I cease the day too! 
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 21,462
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Quote:
Originally posted by ■YoungCalifornia■
Where are the 3 other judges?
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We're only waiting on Matty now.
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Member Since: 2/26/2012
Posts: 23,655
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Quote:
Originally posted by posh
Everything Rih has released this era has been timeless.
Unlike most artists today who just shoot out generic singles (ie. Trouble), Rih is releasing music she'll be able to perform in 10, 15 years from now, and still love them.
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you also said it when you used to be a Mariah's stan
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Member Since: 2/26/2012
Posts: 23,655
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Quote:
Originally posted by JustLuke
Whats wrong with it
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nothing 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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Ready for my review by bloomer sis
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Banned
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 30,196
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pecinta Mariah
you also said it when you used to be a Mariah's stan
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You must have me confused with another member. I've never stanned Mariah. 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 59,202
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pecinta Mariah
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oh, you had me scared, I was like what...
Then you suggested the other avi, but i dont see a difference
Thank you again.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 59,202
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Also, TT, where is my song in that review? 
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Member Since: 2/26/2012
Posts: 23,655
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Quote:
Originally posted by posh
You must have me confused with another member. I've never stanned Mariah. |
bye
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 23,128
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sam
Catching up.
I made gifs for you though. Where is the love?
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Uh, babe I'm right here. Let's win this thing ok?
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Member Since: 9/1/2012
Posts: 25,973
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I've noticed how my best lyrics are almost always at the beginning; the struggle to remain consistent throughout
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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let me write a song specifically high in the alphabet next time so i get my results sooner. (if i make it)
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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