Anaconda:
22 years of people sucking the joy out of this song somehow couldn't do it so effectively as the miserable, grasping Minaj managed in under five minutes.
2/10
"He toss my salad like his name Romaine" is worth a chuckle, but not nearly enough to make up for belabouring Sir Mix-a-Lot's greatest punchline over the course of four endless-seeming minutes. Hardly a single, this is the kind of slop that one typically finds buried in the final quarter of a mixtape.
3/10
Only:
There is nothing to recommend this. Nicki's verse is a dud: even on paper, "That was a setup… for a punchline" is far weaker than, "Ain't a metaphor, punchline, I'm really sittin' with Anna!" as a knowing wink. Drake's verse is cringe-worthy, soaked in a fourteen-year-old boy's saliva. Lil Wayne is catatonic. Chris Brown is here for no reason. Nothing but bad ideas, only.
1/10
No one comes off well here. Drake in particular is so unlikable that if I didn't know better I'd suspect this was Nicki's setup for a mockery. Even the beat sounds less skeletal than underfed.
3/10
