Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 17,447
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Came across this fake article after the VMA kiss 
Quote:
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Over a month after the MTV movie awards aired, Christina Aguilera has filed a $1 billion lawsuit against Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Madonna.
The suit claims that this kiss has caused both emotional and physical stress, and has affected Aguilera’s career in a negative way. "I can't dance. I can't talk. The only thing about me is the way I walk now," said Aguilera, when asked why she has filed this lawsuit. She then said, "When the idea of this kiss was brought up to me, I thought it was going to be a fun thing to do and that it would only reinforce the ***** image that I worked so hard to get.”
However, once Madonna kissed Britney, MTV's cameras went to Justin's face. Aguilera insists that her kiss with Madonna was completely missed by the cameras and no one made a big deal about it. "I need to constantly feel like I am the most important thing. This whole situation has really shattered me,” she said.
When asked why she would sue Britney, Justin, or Madonna for this, former manager for Christina Harry Belam said, "Look, she can't go after the movie awards director, the camera man, or anyone else, because quite frankly, she wouldn't get any attention that way and basically that's what this is all about. She's a fading teen pop icon who is a dirty and skanky bitch who never had any real talent except for her oral abilities…If you know what I mean." Harry Belam was fired by Christina Aguilera two days before the suit was filed, because he was against such petty publicity.
"In response to Mr. Belam's statements" said Aguilera, "He is just bitter because I let everyone from Jaime Fox to Redd Fox screw me in the butt, and I always turned him down no matter how much I like it or how much he begged. Mostly this was because he was white, though. It doesn't do anything for my "DIRTY" image. We'll see how far he goes without me."
Added to the lawsuit was that Ms. Aguilera has contracted Herpes Simplex II and perhaps AIDS from Madonna. The AIDS claim is still pending blood test results.
"Look I'm ‘DIRTY,’ but Madonna is like the stuff that floats around in a Mexican sewer," finished Aguilera.
Ms. Spears and Mr. Timberlake were unavailable for comments, but Madonna was quoted on E! Entertainment as saying, "Look, that little bitch could have gotten AIDS from anyone, not just me. I know skank because I look at one every day in the mirror, and believe me when I say Christina Aguilera is the living definition of the words skanky *****."
In the near future Christina Auguilera plans to pose in Playboy, Penthouse and Anorexic Fat Babes. She will also appear in an upcoming low budget adult movie called "Dirty" Sanchez to be released in mid 2004.
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literally the Lesley Gore of this generation
People actually thought her comeback would be big.
Thoughts Jennifer?
