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Fan Base: Archived: Stand Your Ground (#6)
Member Since: 8/22/2011
Posts: 7,378
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Originally posted by Nicole
The next morning, Beyonce sits in her palatial dressing room, examining herself in her vanity mirror and preparing for her morning routine. Breakfast? Exercise? Dance training? Vocal runs? No, her morning routine is much more important than that. She composes herself, takes a moment, then WHIRLS around in her chair, a look of horror on her face.
"No, I found her like this!" she exclaims. "She must have tripped down the stairs! Her neck…it looks broken. No, she's not breathing! Send someone right away!"
Her acting coach who's been in the room all along steps forward. "Much better. I really believed it this time. After 4 years you're finally getting it down."
Suddenly the door flies open and Blue bursts into the room, playing with her Princess Elsa doll (mommy said the Princess Tiana doll was way too dark). Beyonce glares at her. "What did I tell you about interrupting my morning routine?!"
"Sorry mommy."
Beyonce still stares daggers at her. "When the man in the police uniform shows up, what will you say?"
"Auntie Rihanna fell down the marble staircase. It was an accident."
Beyonce softens. "Good girl. You may have your father's face but you have my wits."
The acting coach paces the room. "If only you could cry. Then they'd never suspect foul play."
"Who do I look like, Jennifer Hudson?!" Beyonce asks. "I can't do it."
"Think of a deeply emotional experience," the acting coach suggests. "Like your relationship with your father coming to an end."
Beyonce rolls her eyes at him. Like she cares. That's not gonna do it.
"Ok then I'm afraid I'm gonna need to bring out the big guns," says the acting coach. "Think about your Hot 100 performance this decade."
Beyonce rises from her chair, walking toward the acting coach, her mascara a mess, tears POURING down her face.
"Finally, you're ready," the acting coach declares.
Beyonce picks up the phone and dials. "Rihanna, Blue's been asking for you all morning. She misses her Auntie. Could you come over please?" And with a sly, evil grin, she hangs up and begins her other morning ritual -- applying copious amounts of white foundation to her face.
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Best ATRL member ever.
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Member Since: 3/30/2009
Posts: 79,408
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 32,106
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When a white person says:Asian women soooooo attractive!
I hear:I am really into fetishizing an unholy ideal of westernized geishas and school girls. I equate "light skinned east asian" with "the entire continent of asia" and I will never date a south east, south, or dark skinned east asian woman because "that's not really asian." Also, I will attempt to speak mangled Japanese at any Asian woman I see, in an attempt to be "Cultural" and worldly."
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When a white person says:I don't see race. WE ARE ALL EQUAL
I hear:I think I'm super hip because I have only read the first two lines of "I Have a Dream" and am a firm believer in erasing the wrongs of the past because I believe that everything is AWESOME now. Also, I want to use the n-word to sing along to Kanye.
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Member Since: 4/22/2009
Posts: 11,768
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Quote:
Originally posted by iHypeMusic
And so has CBS, FOX, Good Morning America, American Idol, X-Factor, etc. Does that not make them credible either, or are we still denying the truth?  |
They're not credible because they're news outlets, not IFPI. 
Usher stans need to relearn 2nd grade math and get back to me.
Duca 
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Banned
Member Since: 6/25/2011
Posts: 37,192
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Also, I want to use the n-word to sing along to Kanye.
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Joke's on her, black people are totally cool with that!
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 1,020
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Originally posted by slobro
Prison in America is just 
Instead of saying "you're sentenced to a year of prison" the judge might as well say "you're sentenced to a year of rape, abuse and beatings" |
the fact that people are feeling happy about someone being subjected to rape 
who hurt you? 
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Member Since: 5/20/2012
Posts: 11,332
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Originally posted by Duca
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JLos career (except for the first 8 seconds of I Luh Yah Papi, the Into You video and Louboutins at the VMAs) is one giant rotten tomato.
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Member Since: 11/20/2010
Posts: 29,258
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Originally posted by Ozzy8923
Plz appropriate them more Godney. Cutest & thinnest she looked in 09.
THE ARMS.
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is dis even really brintey
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Member Since: 3/30/2009
Posts: 79,408
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Originally posted by Legend ReX
They're not credible because they're news outlets, not IFPI.
Usher stans need to relearn 2nd grade math and get back to me.
Duca |
they are bought
The Legend Award
The WORLD MUSIC LEGEND AWARD was created to honour top recording artists who have made outstanding contributions to the Music Industry. Past recipients include Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, Prince, Janet Jackson, Celine Dion, Carlos Santana, Diana Ross, Stevie Wonder, Lionel Richie, Ray Charles, Barry White, Elton John, Tina Turner, Rod Stewart, Cher, the Bee Gees, INXS, Julio Iglesias, David Bowie, George Benson, Chris Deburgh, Cliff Richard, Status Quo, Deep Purple, Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo, Tony Bennett, Gloria Gaynor, Chaka Khan and Patti Labelle. Two Music Industry Executives and Producers were given this Award for their outstanding contribution to the Industry. The late Whitney Houston presented it to Clive Davis, the founder of Arista and J Records, at the 2004 WMAs in Las Vegas and Mariah Carey received it on behalf of L.A. Reid, Co-Founder of Laface Records, at the 2008 WMAs in Monte-Carlo.
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Member Since: 8/17/2011
Posts: 15,807
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ozzy8923
Plz appropriate them more Godney. Cutest & thinnest she looked in 09.
THE ARMS.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/8/2008
Posts: 21,933
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The Birthday video is Katy's worst video. Not even funny @ all.
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Member Since: 9/9/2012
Posts: 59,872
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Quote:
Originally posted by Legend ReX
They're not credible because they're news outlets, not IFPI.
Usher stans need to relearn 2nd grade math and get back to me.
Duca |
I'll have to go with Oprah instead of your opinion, since she's always right! Don't get too mad.
Btw, mathematics has nothing to do with reliable sources!
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Member Since: 12/21/2010
Posts: 51,088
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 17,447
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Member Since: 3/17/2007
Posts: 18,147
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Quote:
Originally posted by slobro
Prison in America is just
Instead of saying "you're sentenced to a year of prison" the judge might as well say "you're sentenced to a year of rape and stds, abuse and beatings" |
 that's not too different from being a little monster one would assume
one would probably be correct
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Member Since: 8/16/2011
Posts: 19,718
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Originally posted by katara
Oh yes but there is african features right?
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Nope.
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Member Since: 8/23/2011
Posts: 52,519
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playing with her Princess Elsa doll (mommy said the Princess Tiana doll was way too dark).
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srsly 
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Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 11,853
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Quote:
Originally posted by katara
Best ATRL member ever.
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And with a sly, evil grin, she hangs up and begins her other morning ritual -- applying copious amounts of white foundation to her face.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 1,020
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Originally posted by BoyOnBoy Wonder
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make it stop omg
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Member Since: 1/13/2012
Posts: 17,447
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Quote:
Originally posted by Desert Rain
JLos career (except for the first 8 seconds of I Luh Yah Papi, the Into You video and Louboutins at the VMAs) is one giant rotten tomato.
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The first few years of her career have actually been quite nice.
Just heard If You Had My Love the other day for the first time in ages and it's still a BOP.
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