The next morning, Beyonce sits in her palatial dressing room, examining herself in her vanity mirror and preparing for her morning routine. Breakfast? Exercise? Dance training? Vocal runs? No, her morning routine is much more important than that. She composes herself, takes a moment, then WHIRLS around in her chair, a look of horror on her face.
"No, I found her like this!" she exclaims. "She must have tripped down the stairs! Her neck…it looks broken. No, she's not breathing! Send someone right away!"
Her acting coach who's been in the room all along steps forward. "Much better. I really believed it this time. After 4 years you're finally getting it down."
Suddenly the door flies open and Blue bursts into the room, playing with her Princess Elsa doll (mommy said the Princess Tiana doll was way too dark). Beyonce glares at her. "What did I tell you about interrupting my morning routine?!"
"Sorry mommy."
Beyonce still stares daggers at her. "When the man in the police uniform shows up, what will you say?"
"Auntie Rihanna fell down the marble staircase. It was an accident."
Beyonce softens. "Good girl. You may have your father's face but you have my wits."
The acting coach paces the room. "If only you could cry. Then they'd never suspect foul play."
"Who do I look like, Jennifer Hudson?!" Beyonce asks. "I can't do it."
"Think of a deeply emotional experience," the acting coach suggests. "Like your relationship with your father coming to an end."
Beyonce rolls her eyes at him. Like she cares. That's not gonna do it.
"Ok then I'm afraid I'm gonna need to bring out the big guns," says the acting coach. "Think about your Hot 100 performance this decade."
Beyonce rises from her chair, walking toward the acting coach, her mascara a mess, tears POURING down her face.
"Finally, you're ready," the acting coach declares.
Beyonce picks up the phone and dials. "Rihanna, Blue's been asking for you all morning. She misses her Auntie. Could you come over please?" And with a sly, evil grin, she hangs up and begins her
other morning ritual -- applying copious amounts of white foundation to her face.
