Member Since: 11/9/2011
Posts: 12,849
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Quote:
LOW: TAYLOR SWIFT’S SLOW BOAT TO BRANSON
I’ve always thought that the song/video for “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” would be a lot more poignant and powerful if it were sung by Honey Boo-Boo as she finally had a Damascus moment of clarity, took her lawyer’s grimy hand, poured her go go juice over her deranged mother’s head, and declared, “**** this machine, mama, I’m ghost!” Unfortunately, the song is really just Taylor’s latest bleat of break-up petulance over her latest douchey ex. And okay, Taylor’s still a ravishing commercial juggernaut (and we're bitter critics in an ever-imploding media hellscape), and there’s clearly no point in asserting once again that she sounds terribly off-key and amateurish in every live setting, but it’s also clear that as her gawky aw-shucks persona begins to fade with age, it’s being gradually replaced by a perfunctory professionalism, glum entitlement, and a desire to sort of, you know, act. Closing the show with a skit-heavy performance of “We Are Never” (featuring Flaming Lips’ leftover furry extras' costumes), she tried to do a bizarre ’50s sock-hop, gum-smacking, sweater-girl routine, as if she were auditioning for the grating, G-rated sequel to John Waters’ Cry-Baby, directed by her future ex-boyfriend who broke up with her via Instagram. Girl, you may or may not be better than all this, but please stop. Guys suck, we’ve been there, we’ve been that guy, multiple times, but trust us, you’re gonna end up as the country-music version of Jennifer Aniston, if you don’t watch it. Wait a minute, that’s exactly what she wants to become. And she’s gonna be on the cover of the very last grocery-store tabloid to exist when all our children are listening to her horrendous Rumours tribute album in 2024. It’s all so obvious now. Sheesh, never mind. C.A.
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SPIN
EDIT: I need to slap Mr. Charles Aaron for the Jennifer An*ston comparison. 
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at Adeles page
Worse is Ronan's mother gave Huffpost's link in her blog but strangely it links to utsandiego page. 
"RONAN" could potentially be another track from her upcoming album, if this is true.
