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Celeb News: Chrystina Sayers talks depression, act and new music
Member Since: 6/30/2012
Posts: 19,226
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Chrystina Sayers talks depression, act and new music
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For my Fans:
Since Girlicious, I've been on a voyage to find my perfect musical team that could help me to launch my solo project, be attentive to your wants and needs, and overall be able to share my musical/ entertainment journey with you. I thank God that I was blessed with a platform but a part of me feels I've been a huge disappointment to you all because I haven't fore-filled your needs. I apologize and getting back to where I was going with this is that, It's been tough for me to find that team where we all work very very well together for a common goal. In my business, as some of you might have heard or even know, there can be plenty of funny business. Well for me, as for many many other artist, I constantly WAS running into this. In my heart, I do not blame anyone. I blame myself for being ignorant, foolish but mostly naive. Now speaking as being older and mature, I truly feel at the end of the day, it was a humbling experience God needed me to go through so that I would no longer be a young women of ignorant behavior ever again.
Since the disbandment of Girlicious in 2010, I went straight into doing open mics in Los Angeles wherever I could go so that I could know what it was like being all by myself on stage, no background music track, no group, no back up dancers, no massive lighting arrangements or sound guy & no dancing. Only my voice, my guitar player and a mic. The most authentic, live and realness you can ever get as a singer. Through this process, I learned how to speak to a audience by introducing myself, where I was from, what I've been through and what I was up to. Then finally, introducing my 1st song out of a 4 cover set. You see, even in that time, I couldn't sing any of my own music because I did not own any of it & still don't. Some people suggested I just sing it anyway because I was not selling it but I just felt it was best to avoid all conflict all together, so I sang nothing but covers. Some of my classic songs I love to sing are 'Somewhere over the rainbow' and ' Respect by Aretha Franklin.' I even threw in some songs by Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Adele, Michael Jackson, Seal, Bruno Mars, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Katy Perry, Florence & The Machine, Nat King Cole, and so on . I loved singing songs of Artist who I looked up to musically. Artist who inspired me, challenged me. Artist who are wildly talented and obedient to their craft. Through out that process, I struggled with fitting in to the LA crowd and sometimes suffered with depression. Since I am a San Diego girl who is very selective in who I call a friends and people I choose to be around, it was tough for me. Very Very tough. I found myself doing things and hanging out with people I really did not want to. All I could ever think after all was said and done, was what my solo show would look like, how many dancers I would have, songs I would sing, who would love me, how magnetic the fans energy would be, how connected I would feel towards them, and how I would always try to be one of the best performers they'd ever seen. The number one thought that stayed consistent in the front of my mind was, when I finally found that A list team & label, my life would be perfect! I believe the depression stemmed from me not being able to perform on massive stages world wide and having my dream lifestyle be put on pause. Ultimately as human beings, we all seek out what makes us the happiest and for me, that would be being on a stage consistently. To perform in any realm of entertainment is what makes me the happiest. Not being able to have the pieces of my music life put right back together, of which I thought would happen quickly, was devastating.
Since 2011, its been three teams that had my invested interest which took about year and a half to two years each. This equals to about four years and a half all together of me pursuing the right opportunities in music. It has been tough to even stomach the years it has been taking me to get back on my feet once again but as you know from the show, I'm a fighter and nothing, not even accumulated years is going to stop me from reaching my ultimate destiny. On a positive note, I have found a new love in the stage of acting! I have always dreamt of being a triple threat of some sort but in reality, acting in the past, was such an intimidation. I mean I did some school plays and musicals but the big screen was always something of interest but never would I have known that I have a natural talent in this realm. The intimidation stemmed from the whole thought of having to memorize lines, create the character around that and preform it to an audience. Not to mention the director directing you, all the cameras and lights. You'd think it was very similar to singing on a stage to thousands of people but its not. The acting stage is more about your connection with one to a few people instead of thousands at a time. With singing on stage to thousands of people or even a few hundred, I feel you can hind a bit more if that makes sense. With acting, there is no hiding other then if your talking about 'hiding' behind a character. In acting its just you and that other person(s) having a conversion. Sharing whatever experience in that very intimate moment. In the start of my acting journey, that was a terrifying thought!!! I truly feel the situations we are most terrified of is were are biggest rewards come from. The type of rewards that will last a lifetime. The type of defeats like David and Goliath. You never will forget that.
The end of 2011, I got picked up by an agency and was enrolled into my first improv/ scene study class in Hollywood. I must admit, through all the headlining of the Girlicious tours and constantly being on stages, it for sure was easier to break into acting. To this day, I still remember my first scene where it was nothing but me and a male actor. I was dressed up all pretty on a big stage with a ton of lines and to top it off, I had the opening monologue which was almost a full page. I remember studying so many techniques how to memorize lines, how to listen and react, how to have extreme eye contact, and how to make sure I was not telling a lie but to really believe I was encountering this experience right here & right now! As soon as the acting coach said ACTION, I went! I still remember feeling terrified inside and just leaning on a table while delivering my lines. I couldn't even move. I stayed there pretty much the whole scene until the middle-ish end where I moved closer to my male companion. It was shocking to me, after my very first real scene while going back into the theaters seats, how many actors whispered to me, 'great job!' How long have you been acting girl? Where have you been studying? At first, I couldn't believe that I actually got through my scene. Then, I was reassured by those actors comments that I actually did well. We always tend to be the worst critiques on ourselves but I feel that is what truly makes us individually great. I took their sweet positive comments and never looked back. Now studying for almost 4 years, I have gained so much knowledge and confidence that I am proud to say I am a actress and I can't wait till I see myself on the big screen guest staring/staring in feature films, television shows, sit-coms, commercials, broadway, etc.
As it stands, human beings forever are evolving. We should never stop learning and educating ourselves because we are magnificent. We are beautiful and so intelligent. God made us this way for a reason which is a glorious stance to take in and live by.
All this being said, I thank you all for your patience and your never ending support through out this process. Just so you all know as an example, if you think about any of your top 5 brands of anything that you love, take time to research their history of 'how long ' it took them to be an established company. You will find that their journeys were not over night. It took years... some even 20 years plus until their hopes and dreams stuck forever. I know the key here is just to keep believing in yourself and work hard every day at your craft. Never give up on your self. If God never gives up on you, why should you give up on you and thats exactly my mentality. Sure everyday for me isn't peachy and sometimes I go through those depressed moments but as soon as I make the choice to be excellent in all that I do, as soon as I make the choice to expect great things on a daily basis, as soon as I make the choice to work hard and fight for what I believe in, then thats when everything in my life begins to get better. Everything literally begins to turn around for the best and how amazing it is to see. In an instant. At this point, I have not only being enjoying this process of perfecting my crafts but I have been enjoying my life as a whole. So for all of you that send in love from my Girlicious past to now, I thank you for always keeping that time in an uplifted way. It truly brings a smile to my face. To keep a mindset of remembering all the positive things is key :0)
So for a few quick updates on me...
Currently in my music career, we've been seeking out another possible music situation with a leading record label. All I ask is you pray for me that this will finally be my golden ticket. To finally be able to release my solo project to you all over the world, so we can share and experience this all together for a life time is my life long dream. My music sound is in the realm of pop with splashes of urban, electro and r n b. Most of my music lyricly is uplifting, high energy, fun and will make you feel free. As a young women, through my 'growing up process' inside and outside the entertainment industry, I have found that I want to be the most positive loving role model. I want to showcase true generosity, love, self-empowerment, honesty, loyalty, truth, trust, righteous power, equality, confidence, uniqueness, and most of all being a fighter for what is right. I truly believe in Gods time, we will all get to experience how massive of a project this will be and it will have longevity. My mindset is at the place of expecting nothing but the best. I expect to have a long, thriving entertainment career that is full of greatness period. I expect to inspire millions of people around the world through my messages in music, acting and any other realm of my life. I expect to help change peoples lives for the better through my humanitarian work and charity project. I truly believe this. No more will I run into the shade or be surrounded by it. I believe God will open doors no man can shut and close doors no man can open. As well on the fashion side, it is definitely going to be top notch! Can't wait to showcase that side of me as well! For my acting, I have been going on some great auditions with some rewarding responses & call backs. My team and I feel its only a matter of time before my big break in the acting world. This has all been a blossoming process and since I decided long ago this is what I am going to do for the rest of my life, I couldn't be happier.
Friends, this is only the beginning.
Thank you for reading and I LOVEEE YOU ALL MORE THEN YOU KNOW.
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