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Discussion: Your Coming Out...
Member Since: 5/28/2010
Posts: 29,225
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mariah4life
I came out like 5 months ago only. I was 18.
My mom was in the livingroom watching TV and i was in my room. I sent her a text saying something like, "Mom, can i tell you something?", then she text back, "yes." And i said, "I like boys," then she text, "You mean you're gay?" After that, i came out of my room into the livingroom and hugged her and cried, etc. She told me it's okay. She loves me no matter what. Whoever i love and whatever i want to do, i can do it.
But she still questioned me after that if i really loves guys. But we made it clear now.
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That's so cute. 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,199
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I haven't yet, I'm still too scared and I'm not sure why because mum has given me numerous opportunities to come out. A couple of years ago, back when I was still unsure what I was and in denial she asked me point blank if I was gay. I got really offended and said no. She's asked me twice since then, the last time was just last year. I know she means well by trying to give me an out, but ugh it annoys me so much. It took me ages to accept it myself, now that I have let me be for a while, stop trying to force me to come out. I have no doubt she'll be nothing but supportive, she goes SO far out of her way to let me know she's okay with gay people  but whenever I get into an argument with her, if it escalates into a screaming match she always says **** like why do you act like such a girl, you act really gay or my favourite, she'll mock something I said in a girly voice with the stereotypically gay hand thing. The mixed messages  It makes me so mad, I've been on the verge so many times just to scream it out mid fight but I always back down.
I've also got a gay uncle who's a complete embarrassment and the black sheep of the family. He destroyed his life with drugs and alcohol growing up and now he's just a waste of space. His partner is so ****ing filthy and dirty, everyone despises him and I don't want to be associated with that.
Quote:
Originally posted by Cardinal_Luis
Told my brothers after that and they were just like "oh." Lol. My sister thought it was weird at first but now we bond over sharing our experiences but we are not as tight as we should be in my mind. My father found out by the HUGE hicky on my neck I came home with when I came from a friends house, which was my first bf at the time and I was 14 lmao. My mom caught on FAST and she was like "oh my God that rash! Yes that rash, let's put cream on it." 
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Omg
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 35,409
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Quote:
Originally posted by DripDrip
I got into a fight with my brother. We lived in the same room together, and it was small and I was 18 at the time, and he was 21. So we would always argue. This one night idk what he said but it got me mad so I just started punching him in the face. Then my mom came in and the next day she wanted a reason. I couldn't just say "he got me mad" cause that was a poor excuse. So I just pulled the "I'm GAY" card on her. She hugged me and told me she loved me. Well she first asked if I had done anything with a guy and I just lied and said no so kii. Then my Dad called me, said he loved me. My brother ignored me for about 3 weeks, not because I was gay but because I punched him in the face.
Now my whole family knows and they don't treat me any different then they use too, me being gay is as normal as my brothers being straight to them, so I'm very blessed. Except my mom won't stfu about me not having a boyfriend |
I'm so jealous w u 
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Member Since: 11/17/2011
Posts: 12,413
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Lemme go in a liTtle detail,
Close friends: I told my 5 closest friends all in a week when i was 15
Normal friends: I just started to tell everyone
Brother: Found out because he was staying with someone who knew my ex and he told my brother, also i was close with my brothers ex-girlfriend and im sure she told him tha bitch
Sisters: One found out from my brother tha bitch, other come out and asked me when i was crying cos i had gone through a break up
Mum: havnt 'told her' but she obv knows i mean im obsessed with Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and I do fashion in college
Dad: Don't even like him so when i saw hi mfor the first time in 12 years i told him #oop
Everyone else: I plan on putting something on FB tomorrow
I got bullied ALOT in high school even when i hadnt even said anything, it stopped when i startde to tell people and became tha bad bitch i was born to be so yeah 
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 35,409
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reading these stories gives me so much courage
i will tell my parents as soon as i move out
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Member Since: 11/26/2010
Posts: 14,197
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I'm not officially "out" but all my friends know already. I haven't confirmed it to them but they're so supportive it's awesome.
My parents obviously know but they haven't talked to me about it. They bring up hypothetical situations about me and a "girlfriend" but my dad sometimes changes that to "partner" so its whatever. He's seen my internet history it's no secret.
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Member Since: 6/30/2012
Posts: 19,226
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I never had to come out. Thank god. Growing up i also commented on how hot some guys were and how id love to just kiss their faces off. When me and my friends played outside i would always talk to them about hot male singers and football players. Looking back now im so embarrassed, i couldn't have been more obvious.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 9/9/2010
Posts: 9,528
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The first person you come out to is yourself...
when i was 16, i started to get an itch to come out. i'd "dated" girls before but the relationships were always like friendships. i told myself i was "giving them a chance," even though i knew it would go nowhere. now that i look back on it, it probably wasn't fair to the girls... but i needed to know i was truly into guys. at 16, i finally learned to accept myself.
the first person i told who wasn't in a chat room online was a female cousin. she thought it was cool. i then told my twin brother that i had something to tell him but it would have to wait a bit. i typed up a letter to my parents that i saved for a time i felt ready to come out to the rest of my family. about a month later, i came out to my brother. he was in disbelief. he couldn't comprehend it... and he probably took it the hardest initially, but he kept it to himself.
about a month after that, he and i got into one of our usual arguments... sibling rivalry takes a stronger form for twins, and he got in my face. our bedroom was in an extension to the house that wasn't connected to the main home. i ran inside and went into the bathroom to get away from him. he followed me into the house and, for whatever reason, decided it was time to spill my secret. my stepmom asked him what was going on, and his response was "HE'S GAY!" my heart dropped... and he repeated himself. my stepmom's response made me smile, however. she replied "so...?"
after that, i gave her the letter i had written and asked her if she told my dad yet (since they weren't living together at the time). she told me he already knew, and that he was ok with it. that night my dad came and picked me up and gave me a talk about how proud he was of me for being able to be honest with myself. he mentioned that some people take being gay to the grave, and he was glad to have a son like me who was comfortable with himself.
i came out to the rest of my immediate family (grandparents, siblings, etc.) over the remainder of the summer and wrote notes to give to my friends when the new school year (my junior year) started. i did lose a few friends, but those who truly cared... didn't care. :] the most surprising was when i came out to my birth mother. her response was, "that's ok. your grandmother's a lesbian." we laughed about it; however, my mom later told me (about 6 years later) that she thought it was a phase for me... but that she realized it wasn't and she loves me no matter what.
i don't feel it's necessary to come out to everyone, but i don't hide who i am. i'm just not defined by my sexual preference. my brother came around and is perfectly fine with it now. i have lived and grown a lot since then, as it's been nearly 10 years (i'm almost 26 now). i'm also in a relationship with an amazing guy who i met the summer of 2012. nothing is perfect, but i feel stable, loved, and most of all... accepted.
if you haven't yet come out, just remember that you truly have to accept yourself before you can ask anyone else to accept you. not everyone will, but if you don't it makes it seem ok for others not to as well. just be true to who you are. 
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,470
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I don't feel a need to "come out", my parents probably know but I'll never have that talk with them, when I find someone and we are serious I'll introduce him to my parents and that's it. Plus I don't need to come out to people around me, when we hang out and we get to know each other it will slip and come naturally and if they're shocked of have a reaction to it well.....
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Member Since: 2/22/2008
Posts: 46,108
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Well, I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 2+ years. All my family knew him and he was always around so I kind of felt hopeless and really depressed. I really couldn't stop crying and it got to the point where I was shaking and really scared so I called my grandma and she came to my room and I just asked her to hold me and to not ask me what was wrong and then like 5 minutes later she asked me: "Is it because of him?", she mentioned his name. I was aware that she knew, I mean he was always around but still it was a bit shocking. So I said yes, and she started saying really good things to me. After that I think she kinda got in denial though, she always mentions girls around me and ask me if I would date this or that which is just funny cuz i always tell her... Grandma, remember I'm gay and I have a boyfriend (my boyfriend and I are back together).
I told my mom that same day, I figured my grandma talked to her so when she came back from work she sat down with me, I was still crying lol and she started asking me questions like: "Is he the only boy u have dated?" "Do you not like girls?" and **** like that. I think she accepts it more but the other day she asked me to give her "real grandchildren" which pissed me the **** off lol.
My best friend knows, she was the first to find out. I had been telling her that I needed to talk to her for weeks and then I finally got the courage and went to her house and just told her: "Hey, I really hope u love me and accept me cuz what I'm about to say is huge" and then I just let it out and she called me an idiot saying she would love me no matter what.
My dad found out by himself, I don't really see him often. He came to talk to me, tried to get me to go to church and "change my mind" but I was like just sit the **** down, it's not happening.
I'm not really in the closet to anyone but my grandpa and my cousin (she's like my sister). I'm really open about my sexuality to everyone. You shouldn't be afraid, people who really love you will accept you or try to step out of their comfort zone even if they don't agree with your views.
Go for it!
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Member Since: 2/20/2012
Posts: 24,225
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Hmm, well the family found some gay pr0n on the computer. Then my mom asked me and it was the first person, so I was very emotional. But I said "yes," and she was a bit shocked, but accepting. It was strange for a couple of weeks, but sank in soon enough.
Then during my sophomore year, when I was 15, I was seriously tired of nobody knowing. So one day during lunch, I just walked up to one of my best friends and told her, and she was pretty much like, "awww, that's adorable." And then I told most of my other close friends over the next two years (forever, I know  ).
So now I'm a senior and I don't give a ****.  So people at work know and people at school know, and it feels much more open and freer.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 35
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i read all of your stories carefully cs im still suffering from that...
Im now in america as exchange student, and found it surprisingly how homophobic they are i live with a german girl, she starting to wondering why i never had a girlfriend. i remember how upset when i heard another exchamge student live with me will be a girl  but now we're close friends. since im always behaving like an introvert, im still quite lonely at school. but paradoxically im going to a religious chinese hang out every friday nignt just want to meet more friends, even tho they're all college students. 
i definetly won't come out to my host parents  cs they're little religious. and im wondering if my parents already found that, my browser history made it suspicious, but since then there was no other clue tho. and my behavious is hard to notice that. bTW, i wasjust in a relationship that only considered as by me.
Quote:
Originally posted by IStanHard
I forgot to clean my browsing history... |
THAT'S WHY THE INPRIVATE BROWSING BECAME THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED ABOUT!!!
and while my granparents(my mom's parents) will be more acceptable, my other grandparents may go CRAZY
Actually chinese respect homos as normal people cs no religious stuff despite minorities, but most of them found it unacceptable. what makes me feeling easier is that the teenagers even call their close friends GAY friends or Les friends! And DON'T use homo words as swear! What's more, we don't think boys can't listen to girls songs(maybe because the pronunciation of He and She are the SAME in Chinese?)  maybe after a few years, when the circumstance grow better, i'll have an officially come out.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 34,855
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Quote:
Originally posted by chilicheese01
Hmm, well the family found some gay pr0n on the computer. Then my mom asked me and it was the first person, so I was very emotional. But I said "yes," and she was a bit shocked, but accepting. It was strange for a couple of weeks, but sank in soon enough.
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This is how it happened to me, too. Except after I told her "yes" there was a period of silence that lasted for what felt like an eternity after which point she locked herself in her room for the rest of the night and I didn't see her again until the next morning and it's really never been spoken of again since. That was like two years ago. 
My mom told my dad that I said yes, though, and he's tried initiating conversations about it but it's just really uncomfortable for me to talk about so I just kind of brushed him off. 
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Member Since: 9/4/2012
Posts: 12,421
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***How was it?
pretty good because my family still treats me the same 3 years later
***What did you say?
not really say but confirm when my mom asked me for like the hundredth time in 17 years
***And what happend afterwards?
she started crying but i kinda understood it because at that time gay kids were killing themselves and the media would not stfu about it
we live in a pretty liberal area of california but she was still worried i would get bullied
---
you girls and gay **** tho 
i'm kinda glad my parents didn't even know how to use a computer let alone see what i searched for
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 35,409
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Quote:
Originally posted by [extrachapstick]
when i was 16, i started to get an itch to come out. i'd "dated" girls before but the relationships were always like friendships. i told myself i was "giving them a chance," even though i knew it would go nowhere. now that i look back on it, it probably wasn't fair to the girls... but i needed to know i was truly into guys. at 16, i finally learned to accept myself.
the first person i told who wasn't in a chat room online was a female cousin. she thought it was cool. i then told my twin brother that i had something to tell him but it would have to wait a bit. i typed up a letter to my parents that i saved for a time i felt ready to come out to the rest of my family. about a month later, i came out to my brother. he was in disbelief. he couldn't comprehend it... and he probably took it the hardest initially, but he kept it to himself.
about a month after that, he and i got into one of our usual arguments... sibling rivalry takes a stronger form for twins, and he got in my face. our bedroom was in an extension to the house that wasn't connected to the main home. i ran inside and went into the bathroom to get away from him. he followed me into the house and, for whatever reason, decided it was time to spill my secret. my stepmom asked him what was going on, and his response was "HE'S GAY!" my heart dropped... and he repeated himself. my stepmom's response made me smile, however. she replied "so...?"
after that, i gave her the letter i had written and asked her if she told my dad yet (since they weren't living together at the time). she told me he already knew, and that he was ok with it. that night my dad came and picked me up and gave me a talk about how proud he was of me for being able to be honest with myself. he mentioned that some people take being gay to the grave, and he was glad to have a son like me who was comfortable with himself.
i came out to the rest of my immediate family (grandparents, siblings, etc.) over the remainder of the summer and wrote notes to give to my friends when the new school year (my junior year) started. i did lose a few friends, but those who truly cared... didn't care. :] the most surprising was when i came out to my birth mother. her response was, "that's ok. your grandmother's a lesbian." we laughed about it; however, my mom later told me (about 6 years later) that she thought it was a phase for me... but that she realized it wasn't and she loves me no matter what.
i don't feel it's necessary to come out to everyone, but i don't hide who i am. i'm just not defined by my sexual preference. my brother came around and is perfectly fine with it now. i have lived and grown a lot since then, as it's been nearly 10 years (i'm almost 26 now). i'm also in a relationship with an amazing guy who i met the summer of 2012. nothing is perfect, but i feel stable, loved, and most of all... accepted.
if you haven't yet come out, just remember that you truly have to accept yourself before you can ask anyone else to accept you. not everyone will, but if you don't it makes it seem ok for others not to as well. just be true to who you are. |
amazing story 
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Member Since: 5/19/2012
Posts: 25,222
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Quote:
Originally posted by Triton
I don't feel a need to "come out", my parents probably know but I'll never have that talk with them, when I find someone and we are serious I'll introduce him to my parents and that's it. Plus I don't need to come out to people around me, when we hang out and we get to know each other it will slip and come naturally and if they're shocked of have a reaction to it well.....
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This is exactly what I do, lol.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 35
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Quote:
Originally posted by [extrachapstick]
when i was 16, i started to get an itch to come out. i'd "dated" girls before but the relationships were always like friendships. i told myself i was "giving them a chance," even though i knew it would go nowhere. now that i look back on it, it probably wasn't fair to the girls... but i needed to know i was truly into guys. at 16, i finally learned to accept myself.
the first person i told who wasn't in a chat room online was a female cousin. she thought it was cool. i then told my twin brother that i had something to tell him but it would have to wait a bit. i typed up a letter to my parents that i saved for a time i felt ready to come out to the rest of my family. about a month later, i came out to my brother. he was in disbelief. he couldn't comprehend it... and he probably took it the hardest initially, but he kept it to himself.
about a month after that, he and i got into one of our usual arguments... sibling rivalry takes a stronger form for twins, and he got in my face. our bedroom was in an extension to the house that wasn't connected to the main home. i ran inside and went into the bathroom to get away from him. he followed me into the house and, for whatever reason, decided it was time to spill my secret. my stepmom asked him what was going on, and his response was "HE'S GAY!" my heart dropped... and he repeated himself. my stepmom's response made me smile, however. she replied "so...?"
after that, i gave her the letter i had written and asked her if she told my dad yet (since they weren't living together at the time). she told me he already knew, and that he was ok with it. that night my dad came and picked me up and gave me a talk about how proud he was of me for being able to be honest with myself. he mentioned that some people take being gay to the grave, and he was glad to have a son like me who was comfortable with himself.
i came out to the rest of my immediate family (grandparents, siblings, etc.) over the remainder of the summer and wrote notes to give to my friends when the new school year (my junior year) started. i did lose a few friends, but those who truly cared... didn't care. :] the most surprising was when i came out to my birth mother. her response was, "that's ok. your grandmother's a lesbian." we laughed about it; however, my mom later told me (about 6 years later) that she thought it was a phase for me... but that she realized it wasn't and she loves me no matter what.
i don't feel it's necessary to come out to everyone, but i don't hide who i am. i'm just not defined by my sexual preference. my brother came around and is perfectly fine with it now. i have lived and grown a lot since then, as it's been nearly 10 years (i'm almost 26 now). i'm also in a relationship with an amazing guy who i met the summer of 2012. nothing is perfect, but i feel stable, loved, and most of all... accepted.
if you haven't yet come out, just remember that you truly have to accept yourself before you can ask anyone else to accept you. not everyone will, but if you don't it makes it seem ok for others not to as well. just be true to who you are. |
 the most inspiring one i've ever heard
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 13,869
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sorbet
I got into a fight with my parents about my grades, then they took away my phone and laptop. My dad went through my internet history and all this ghey p0rn was there so yeah, that was the day I discovered Incognito mode.
The best part was when my dad called my mom to come upstairs and I told her and she was like ''Lol, I know'', hugged me and went downstairs again to watch tv.
Gotta love the Netherlands. |
hjhnjhnhnh
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 13,869
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It was about 3 years ago, my aunt exPOSED me.
She called my mum and straight up told her "your sons gay" ;nnnn
My mum called me upstairs, so I went upstairs to her room and was like "what's up?", then she asked me if I was gay. I was like "idk" . Then my aunt *she was still on the phone (speaker)* was like "lies" and started laughing, and then my mum started laughing  . So I just told them yes. My mum was like "it's ok, nothing is different, I love you, I always knew, is your boyfriend cute?  "
I came out to my close friends not long after, we were all at one of my bestie's house and were exposing each other left and right, I learnt so many messy things about them, it was a fun night. My best friend remains closeted though. I kii every time I think about it, but whenever he's ready I guess.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 644
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Quote:
Originally posted by cloudinthesky
Most of my closest friends know though, and all of my college friends are aware. Most of them didn't care but I've lost a couple really close friends after telling them. They flipped out on me, called me a ****** and then outed me to a handful of my other friends. Some of them were ok with it but most of them stopped talking to me after that and assured me that I will burn in hell with Satan and Hitler.
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