Presents...
30 Songs That Need To Be Deleted From iTunes Already
Also known as the real reason you look at my list
Being ****** but not ****** enough:
* "Body Language" by Heidi Montage
* "TiK ToK" by Ke$ha
* "For Your Entertainment" by Adam Lambert
* "Loubotins" by Jennifer Lopez
* "Fireflies" by Owl City
And the really bad....
30 
"One Time" by Justin Bieber
Look, you twelve year old. I don't know why Usher thinks you can sing. I also don't know why you think it's fine at your age (didn't you just discover pubic hair?) to promote ownershit, stalking or just scaring girls. And I really don't get why the **** radio is playing this **** and girls who don't know any better are storming malls like he's Tiffany. Hello, she at least knew what ****ing was when she shimmied to "I Think We're Alone Now." Do you know what titties even are, Justin?
29 
"Boom Boom Pow" by Black Eyed Peas
So, in order to launch a comeback you're gonna rape David Guetta's mixer, drop Hawaiian Punch into the mixer while doing so, then pretend you're Kanye West while giving Fergie the only reasonable lyrics, pretend you're Girls Aloud by dropping out an actual chorus, spike liberally with Clear Channel, and make me have a migrane for 10, 11 weeks. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.
28 
"You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift
God DAMN it, you are 19. Not 13. It's not all that cute to play all wishy-washy with your friend you want to be more than friends with. Mind you, you're clearly a passive-aggressive bitch so whatever. But let's remember this, even before Kanye interrupted your win: You. Cannot. Sing. Your. Lyrics. Suck. Asshole. And. The. Music. Is. Obnoxious. So please stop now.
27 
"Arab Money" by Busta Rhymes
I doubt you remember this, but it's Busta's racist banter who does some really lazy music and rapping. And I made it far more interesting by adding around seventy featured artists when it went up and down the **** list.
26 
"Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)" by Pussycat Dolls f. AR Rahman
Look, Dolls, Jai Ho! is a perfectly fine song on it's own. In original Hindi. Why Nicole or Carrie-Clone or Hilary-Clone or Token Minority or Brunette Trying To Become Red-Headed Tranny thought a ****-ass "remake" was in order is beyond me but I know they lyrics were **** and it added nothing to the Oscar winner. Which makes it even lamer than it would have been in the first place.
25 
"I Can Transform Ya" by Chris Brown f. Lil' Wayne & Swizz Beats
SERIOUSLY, WHY THE ****ING **** IS LETTING CHRIS BROWN STILL HAVE A CAREER? AND WHY THE HELL IS HE DOING A SONG PROMOTING THE IDEA THAT HE CAN TRANSFORM YA WHEN WE HAVE SEEN HOW HE CAN TRANSFORM A FACE?>>!?!?!?!??! Besides the obvious stupidity due to Domestic Disturbia, the lyrics are horrendous and Lil' Wayne adds to the badness rather than being a useful distraction.
24 
"3 AM" by Eminem
Um...what? Seriously, I think you killed someone in the song but I don't think you even are following the story you're telling. Further, saying "3 Am In The Morning" is moronic, since AM = Morning you ****tard.
23 
"Love Sex Magic" by Ciara f. Justin Timberlake
Wow...so it's come to this. Really Ciara? Really? You're gonna try whining your way to a hit? And have Timberlake there to play hook girl? All it becomes is a musical mess since neither of you mesh while featuring infantile lyrics, a pointless chorus and no actual sense of direction. Bad move.
22 
"Somebody To Love" by Leighton Meester f. Robin Thicke
Who the **** told Leighton she could sing? And why must Robin, who actually got some goodwill back with "Dream World" sound like some dirty bastard hitting on a twenty year....er...hm.
Anyways. The song? blows asshole and whoever came up with the lyrics should be forced to listen to this on a loop until their head explodes.
21 
"Fifteen" by Taylor Swift
Were you bred by the Lisa Frank company? Jesus woman will you grow up on album 3 or should I assume this nonsense will continue?
20 
"Get Sexy" by Sugababes
Why do you three sound out of it? And why do they call you "sexy" when lately you look just odd? And why must we accept it as a compliment?
19 
"Patron Tequila" by Paradiso Girls
This song barely anyone heard but it needs to vanish before people hear it again.
18 
"Hush Hush, Hush Hush" by Pussycat Dolls
So...if we take a pointless cover of "I will survive" and ramrod it with other empowering lyrics, a jangly chorus, and a soft-rock ballad opener it'll totally not suck, right? Er, how about not. It's a music disaster with the constant shifts in beat and tempo and style, the lyrics do nothing to lift it and running into IWS towards the end takes you fully out of the song.
17 
"About A Girl" by "Sugababes"
Um, no. The song is stupid, the music is lame and why the hell did we add Jade Ewan ton the group? She's a barely passable singer on her Eurovision entry or on what was to be her solo debut. Can we just call it a day already?
16 
"Pole In My Basement" by Bow Wow
Like I believe (a) you like girls (b) you have a pole (c) you'd have a pole in the basement (d) you'd let a girl on your pole or (e) you think you still have game. You've never been that good of a rapper and to try and push this is beyond stupid. And it doesn't make you look hard, it makes you look like you're playing in your brother's clothes again.
15 
"Gucci Bandanna" by Soulja Boy Tell'em
NO. I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY. And near how to speak you idiot, Bandanna doesn't have a silent pause in it.
14 
"I Love College" by Asher Roth
Alright. Just because you can talk doesn't make you a rapper. Nor does being drunk. Nor does your drunk friends telling you that yes, you could be the next Eminem. So next time, sober up and finish your education otherwise you'll look like a hipster trying way too hard to be awesome. And failing massively.
13 
"Crack A Bottle" by Eminem f/ Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
It's sad when Fiddy is the most interesting thing. Well, besides finding out you like it when girls clean the **** out from under your balls was nice to know. God man, retire again.
12 
"Goodbye" by Kristiana DeBarge
God. Look, I loved DeBarge,. That doesn't mean I want a child to release something. Especially something as uninspired, uninteresting or as dull as Kristiana's attempt at music. Rather that try something new by sampling the "Na Na Na Na" song, she trends into Taylor Swift-dom and fails at even that by not even trying to show vocal talent.
11 
"We Made You" by Eminem
Oh my...no. No no no no no. I'm just gonna imagine you did not return to the gimmick of being Weird Al for a song. I mean really, I'd almost rather you rap about raping and killing your mom over this. Well...no. those songs blow asshole too. But this? THIS? This is the comeback? By riding on trends that are already six months old? This is very very sad and sad and sad.
10 
"Obsessed" by Mariah Carey
It's almost become a yearly rite for Mariah to sing something that makes no sense, seems far to fluffy for her vocals, make her sound like she's 12 so she can act like she's still 17. Sorry Mrs. Cannon, but you're too old for this song. Hell, Miley is too old for this song. However, I'd buy it from crazy squinty-eyes Taylor Swift.
09 
"How Do You Sleep" by Jesse McCartney f. Ludacris
Yet more quasi-staling from jail bait. I bet ya, Jesse, that she sleeps really well after she left your whiny ass. Especially if you still sniff letters from ex'es. Desperation smells bad so I'd suggest moving on...as you do in the other song to come
08 
"Shuttin' Detroit Down" by John Rich
Yes, it's the government's fault GM had to borrow money. You know what John Rich, go preach to the converted all you want but your ******** anthems about how bad Washington is ****ing ridiculous. As are your lyrics. And your "singing." So shut the ever living **** up.
07 
"Ego" by Beyonce
Gad...Beyonce. Are you even trying? Alls I know is you released yet another stupid ass song from your split personality and really, it's not very becoming. And I personally don't care how big it is or if it will fit.
06 
"3" by Britney Spears
Can we tie your tubes up before this threesome? Or steal wedding rings before you find a new daddy for the baybees. Moron.
05 
"Body Language" by Jesse McCartney f. T-Pain
You know what's sad? That Heidi's moronic "Body Language" is an also-ran while Jesse's attempts to be sexy, hot, mature or a ***** land him at #5. THAT is how bad this song is...I'd rather listen to Heidi.
04 
"If You Seek Amy" by Britney Spears
Awww, isn't someone clever thinking to hide a naughty word in the title? Aww....if only they could have given you workable lyrics or a beat that didn't remind people of a carnie side-show.
03 
"The Warning" by Eminem
Dude....grow. a. pair. It's MARIAH! Does she give ***** that good? Do you and Taylor Swift need to have a bonding session over how you've both been wronged by lovers?
02 
"Best I Ever Had" by Drake
Um...no. Really I could go on and on but I have in so many places that finishing second to Soulja Boy should be punishment enough.
01 
"Kiss Me Thru The Phone" by Soulja Boy Tell'em
This song broke me. I had hope in humanity. And then...and then this went top 5...or 1...whatever. It went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to high up the charts. And why? Why is the idea of playing phone sex and getting "kiss"ed through the phone acceptable behavior for anyone over the age of ten? And why must I be told this is romantic? And why are we still allowing Soulja Boy to have a career, a rap career, or a useless "last name"? End this national nightmare already for ****'s sake.
Tomorrow are the thirty worst videos of the year. Haven't decided if I'll punish myself by youtubing them for the countdown....
They thank you, they thank you 
