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Discussion: Is it racist to be only attracted to...
Member Since: 1/23/2011
Posts: 191
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It's not racist imo if you were to say 'I am not personally attracted to ......' however if you were to say 'all ...... are ugly', THAT would be racist
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Member Since: 5/4/2010
Posts: 2,598
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I think it depends on why. I would say that most of the time yes it is racist because:
a) these judgements are often based on assumptions about different ethnicities
and b) if you haven't met every Chinese, black, Asian, whatever person then how can you say you're categorically not attracted to them? Fair enough if you've not met one of them you're attracted to but that isn't the same as saying 'I don't date x'
I think you can't really control attraction but there may be subconscious or internalised racism at work even if a person isn't falling back on stereotypes as their reasons for not being attracted to a certain ethnicity.
EDIT: looking back at some of these replies a lot of people are using an incorrect definition of the word 'racist', racism is about power, it is about hierarchy. It's a lot more subtle than 'I don't like black people because they're ghetto and smell' and it is very pervasive in Western society
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Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 8,096
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Nope.
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Member Since: 1/3/2010
Posts: 21,098
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Since it reared its ugly head again...
Once again, I'm here for the actual person, not the color of the epidermis.
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Member Since: 12/31/2010
Posts: 26,257
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kyus
It's not racist imo if you were to say 'I am not personally attracted to ......' however if you were to say 'all ...... are ugly', THAT would be racist
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This.
I personally am not attracted to most black girls, not gonna lie. Doesn't mean I find them ugly.
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Member Since: 12/10/2011
Posts: 12,699
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kyus
It's not racist imo if you were to say 'I am not personally attracted to ......' however if you were to say 'all ...... are ugly', THAT would be racist
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This doesn't even make sense. Just refer back to my older post:
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Originally posted by Praise Mariallah
If you say you don't/won't date (insert race here), you must have either:
1. Seen every single person of said race and deemed them unattractive or
2. You must thrive off of negative racial stereotypes.
More often than not the person saying they don't date (insert race here) is racist, they just haven't been called out on their **** yet.
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Member Since: 1/3/2010
Posts: 21,098
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Quote:
Originally posted by DvnR
This.
I personally am not attracted to most black girls, not gonna lie. Doesn't mean I find them ugly.
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Ok, most; can you explain what that is?
I've heard something similar to this before and it was about me, except I'm a guy. He said, "I'm not normally attracted to black guys, but you're different." I laughed it off because I felt myself getting annoyed.
What do people mean when they say that? I'd really like to know.
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Member Since: 9/7/2011
Posts: 7,766
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Quote:
Originally posted by StarryEyed
I think it depends on why. I would say that most of the time yes it is racist because:
a) these judgements are often based on assumptions about different ethnicities
and b) if you haven't met every Chinese, black, Asian, whatever person then how can you say you're categorically not attracted to them? Fair enough if you've not met one of them you're attracted to but that isn't the same as saying 'I don't date x'
I think you can't really control attraction but there may be subconscious or internalised racism at work even if a person isn't falling back on stereotypes as their reasons for not being attracted to a certain ethnicity.
EDIT: looking back at some of these replies a lot of people are using an incorrect definition of the word 'racist', racism is about power, it is about hierarchy. It's a lot more subtle than 'I don't like black people because they're ghetto and smell' and it is very pervasive in Western society
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I agree. People dont really put much thought into why theyre not attracted to certain groups of people. If they did then it may well occur to them that it is about being racist. But then I would argue that people have a right to discriminate when it comes to sex. After all it is the most intimate of acts. And youre either aroused or youre not.
But the power thing can work both ways when it comes to sex. When British aristocracy were colonising parts of Africa I think they were very much turned on by the whole forbidden fruit lure of the often naked locals they found there. It must have been incredibly sexy to them in comparison to the totally covered up Victorians back home.
So you can be sexually attracted to a race even if you think you are superior to them. Having sex with somebody above or beneath you can be a turn on in itself.
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Member Since: 11/9/2011
Posts: 5,451
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Agree with it's just a preference.
I am not attracted to guys with long hair, does that make me haircist?
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Member Since: 7/12/2010
Posts: 9,704
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Quote:
Originally posted by DvnR
This.
I personally am not attracted to most black girls, not gonna lie. Doesn't mean I find them ugly.
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I just don't like this statement. You're singling out black women, when in reality, you're not gonna be attracted to most people out of any race. It has nothing to do with skin color, it's more of facial features obviously. You're not gonna find every single white, mexican, chinese, etc person attractive, but why do you only choose blacks to use the example?
Like when you said to me, "You're cute for a black girl" It annoyed me because it's as if you're implying that most black women are ugly or something... Like really.
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Member Since: 3/5/2011
Posts: 13,543
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mani
I just don't like this statement. You're singling out black women, when in reality, you're not gonna be attracted to most people out of any race. It has nothing to do with skin color, it's more of facial features obviously. You're not gonna find every single white, mexican, chinese, etc person attractive, but why do you only choose blacks to use the example?
Like when you said to me, "You're cute for a black girl" It annoyed me because it's as if you're implying that most black women are ugly or something... Like really.
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The truth.
The sad part is people are going to continue saying things like that and there's practically no possible way of changing that.
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Member Since: 1/3/2010
Posts: 21,098
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mattyboy
Agree with it's just a preference.
I am not attracted to guys with long hair, does that make me haircist?
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It's deeper than "just a preference."
It's completely different than that and you know it.
Anywho, the shoe would have to be on the other foot for most to understand.
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Member Since: 3/6/2011
Posts: 4,948
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My long-winded answer:
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Originally posted by longjohn9898
To be honest, yes to an extent. While no one should criticize someone else for their preferences, racial or not, the bottom line is that, yes, everyone has natural and unique preferences, but these preferences are a major byproduct of the society you were raised in. In the US and even globally, beauty in both sexes is very Eurocentric, favoring European features as "beautiful" or "hot" over features of other races. If images of "hot" white men and white women pervade advertisements and the film industry and virtually all media, then it would be natural, for the most part, for white male and female beauty becoming the norm and the standard by which all people in that society are get assessed for their attractiveness. Racial stereotypes also play a factor; African Americans are steretyped as being aggressive, which is an attractive feature in a males but an unattractive feature in females. There are stereotypes involving perceived masculinity/femininity; black men are stereotyped as being "big" while Asian women are stereotyped as being gentle and submissive. Attraction is sometimes exotification, and while no one can really change who they are attracted to, and attraction is seemingly innate, they largely reflect the values of beauty held by the society/country/culture they were raised in and continue to live in. Asian men and black women are hardly ever portrayed in the media as attractive and "hot", and on the flip side Asian women and black men are exotified sexually. These portrayals of race/gender/beauty huge impact on who or what kind of person a person is attracted to. Obviously there are many, many exceptions and many, many other factors that are at play when it comes to attraction (brain neurochemistry for one) by and large white beauty being the norm in society has led to men and women of other races being excluded much more commonly. Anyway I don't have time to explain myself completely, but hopefully what I wrote makes some sense
(As a side note, things like eye surgery in Asians (to make their eyes bigger) and hair straightening/skin lightening in African Americans/Indians...color contacts for many races (blue and green eyes being considered "beautiful"), are all reflections of the Eurocentric standards of beauty the US and most of the world has. It is very common within minorities to be considered more attractive if you closer to white (light skinned black women, Asian women with large eyes, etc.).)
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Member Since: 12/10/2011
Posts: 12,699
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Quote:
Originally posted by longjohn9898
My long-winded answer:
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You had me at the first two sentences.
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