By now you've probably all heard the news. It's true.
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
After long and careful consideration on both of their parts, Eli Rhythm (star of upcoming biopic Papa, I Want to Sing: The Janet Jackson Story) and Patrick Gimmemore (director of award winning* documentary film Stalking Britney) regretfully announce the end of their week long engagement. The former couple, initially set to be married on January 11th, have issued the following statement:
"It is with love and respect that we entered into a relationship, it is out of love and respect that we end our relationship. Stresses related to career pressures and the strain of Patrick's devastating miscarriage have contributed to this decision, though we would like state that no party is at fault in this amicable separation. At this time we realize entering into marriage would not be a responsible move on our part. We will instead focus our energies on ******** effortlessly. We will always be good friends, and remain open to the possibility of casual sex in the future. We respectfully ask that you honor our privacy during this time."
*2007 Stan Choice Awards: Best Documentary
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By now LADY you've all heard about Patrick Gimmemore and Eli Rhythm's devastating GAGA loss, and broken engagement but a camp Rhythm insider BORN has revealed THIS exclusive WAY new details regarding Patrick's miscarriage only to Perez Hilton.
The big news?
Said miscarriage may be no miscarriage at all! The source explains:
"Eli was overjoyed when Patrick told him they would be parents, but once he did the math LADY GAGA BORN THIS WAY it was a different story."
The insider alleges LADY there is NO WAY Eli could have been the father of Patrick's child. "After the doctors told Eli the due GAGA date it became very obvious that the child had to have been conceived BORN THIS during Patrick's trip to Columbia. It broke his heart."
AND THAT'S NOT THE WORST OF IT!
"Eli was so outraged! He demanded Patrick tell him WAY the truth and Patrick came clean about everything. In a last ditch effort to LADY GAGA BORN THIS WAY save their relationship they decided to abort the baby and paint it as a miscarriage, but it was too little too late. The relationship was over."
Woah! Be sure to check back with Perez for more details. LADY GAGA BORN THIS WAY
They say all is well that ends well, but is everything as well as P & E would have us believe? They can try to pull the wool over our eyes, but we can see right through Patrick's lies. It's hard to carry secrets, especially for 9 months, and even when E learns the truth, a doctor can't always nip it in the butt.
...i don't think i'll be able to move on....
