Quote:
Originally posted by Dylobs
So Huga gave me a 10, Tempo gave me top 10 and I'm only 21 with a score of 6 
Would pears or Cupid like to tell me what they really disliked about my song? I got that pears thought it was blunt (and about rape but that's wrong) but not much else...  |
The whole thing was really clumsy to me. A lot of the descriptive images you used just did not fit well "sprinting into the neck high pasture", "pummels through the hip high garden" which for a challenge based on imagery was really bad, that leaves the story which was pretty ridiculous and hard to follow in itself "dead limbs collapse onto fallen branches", "the path that she had made with the aroma of beer", "tears in her eyes fall to her mouth where it blends with the blood that's leaking", "she sobs as the smell of him strengthens", the story itself even jumps around because one minute there's blood pouring from her mouth mixing with tears and it's dripping onto her dads boots and then the next she's stood with him standing at a door like nothing happened? Honestly it made zero sense to me. For what it's worth too, there were quite a few rhymes that felt forced and I don't even point that kind of thing out
Whatever your entry tried to be, it failed wholly for me.
I wasn't gonna say I thought my song was amazing but I just needed to know what to improve on since there was such a wide distribution of scores 
