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Originally posted by -ToxicGuy-
The doctor gave me some serotonin boosting medication against depression, but it isn't helpful at all. If anything I feel even more tired than before, even though she said it wouldn't have such an effect
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that's not really abnormal, but if these side effects haven't gone away within a few weeks then you should talk to her about switching medications. different medications work for different people, so you might have to try several different ones before you get the right one. and some medications actually make you significantly worse or even cause you serious health problems, so you should be watchful for that.
Quote:
Originally posted by Digital
I wish I could post more in depth to you but I'm on my lunch break right now. I'm bipolar type 1 and I know word-for-word exactly what you're going through and how you feel. I even know the school issues because I've gone through that as well (student disabilities services/almost getting kicked out of my university/etc). I had the fifth highest GPA in my high school graduating class of 2000+ people. My symptoms really started to appear the summer after I graduated high school and progressively got worse over the next two years. I got misdiagnosed as major depressive and was only prescribed SSRIs but none ever worked. It was like putting a band aid over a wound because I obviously wasn't being completely treated. I managed to get my associates within my regular two year frame but barely and then transferred to a larger university for my last two years. Well, I continued to get sicker and sicker (like how you explain you feel + suicide attempts + manic episodes of craziness) and I wasn't able to finish my last two years. It's like I became a shell of myself. GPA plummeted to 1.72. I came to the university with a 3.8. Damn, I have to finish up. Well, I managed to get properly diagnosed at 24. Took a long time to find the right combo of meds to where I can function and I had to take a lot of time off from school in order to do it. It sucks because I'm 26 and still only 90% done with my bachelor's but I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm able to go back to school starting this summer and I plan on being completely done by the end of fall. Long story short: it will work out and you can get better TRUST ME! If you ever want to talk, I'd be more than willing to do so. I'm sorry if this novel is a complete mess but I'm not going to re read back through it.
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dude so many of these things i've experienced
my symptoms started to get really bad when i was 16 (which is like, 9 years earlier than average. lucky me) and it hurt my school performance so badly because i couldn't do anything while i was depressive. it didn't help that that was the year (junior year) that i had the first class i legitimately could not understand no matter how hard i tried. i only passed that class by 1% in the end...
but yeah, i got diagnosed as having depression and anxiety too by a couple of doctors. i actually had to switch doctors more than once because the first and second ones were pretty unhelpful (they just didn't understand my situation at all). that summer was probably the worst time of my entire life. i remember having breakdowns every day and being so incredibly paranoid that i assumed nobody liked me based on the tiniest indications like someone being 5 minutes late to hanging out with me. it was the only time i ever legitimately considered suicide and i almost attempted one day, and might have gone through with it except my best friend at the time called me right before (he didn't even know i was having this problem, he just wanted to talk) and calmed me down. i remember that exact date, actually; july 22, 2013. i don't think i'll ever forget it. and i was on medication at the time, too, but they were still going for depression, not what i actually had.
but then i found my current doctor near the end of that summer and he figured out i'm bipolar rather than just depressed, and helped put me on medication that was much more helpful for me. i still have my fair share of problems, and i've actually been having a rough time in the past two weeks or so because of school, but i've recovered so much from where i was then.
i've tried to stay hopeful that it gets better. i've been really frustrated because my problems in school and personal relationships have caused me to be really depressed, and i thought i was really far on my recovery after i had a really good second semester and i didn't want this to happen again.
i hate defining myself by my mental illness, but i think even when i'm doing better with the illness that my life will probably always go through phases. there'll be long periods where i'm really happy and doing really well (i don't mean manic, i actually just get irritated and anxious when i get manic instead of happy), and other ones when life totally sucks. but i think, hopefully, that i won't ever be in as bad of a place as i was that summer again.
...i just rambled a bunch, sorry