BlueM - Another Day In Paradise : You have a very natural skill in writing. Your meter and pace are always perfect and your lyrics are always ready to be placed over an instrumental, they don't need technical improvements or changes to become lyrics of an actual song.
Thank you so much :')
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That being said, your entry this week is surprisingly weak. It's quite clear that you struggled with the challenge, but it's shocking to me how the same guy who wrote "Castle Of Dreams" for a simple audition round struggled with a title as poetic and beautiful as "Another Day In Paradise".
Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills,
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up.
I've gotta fold 'cause these are hands are too shaky to hold.
Hunger hurts but starving works when it costs too much to love.
You’re beautiful, and your mind is ****ing beautiful
And I can’t pretend that doesn’t mean a thing to me, to me, yeah
You’re beautiful, good lord, you’re ****ing beautiful
And I can’t pretend that doesn’t mean a thing to me, to me, yeah, yeah
You literally have it the opposite way for most of the words.