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Discussion: Is having sex with a drunk person rape?
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 46,848
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Member Since: 5/3/2010
Posts: 26,013
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Legally, once someone has consumed alcohol they have lost the ability to give consent. So if they wanted to say you raped them they could. Be careful sis!
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Member Since: 3/7/2011
Posts: 19,696
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1) The key part to remember is the consensual part. If someone is stumbling upon their words, or if someone is having a hard time interacting in general, you can tell that their "consent" isn't consent at all. Kinda like when someone says yes to avoid an issue, but their body language says no. They say yes to protect themselves, but you can tell from their body language that they are uncomfortable/not happy with it. It's the same body language that you can use for cosenting to sex. You can tell tell when someone is out of it and not making a good decision.
Bringing a car into it is different though. It's like you know you are going to drink, so you should have an idea what to do so you dont drive.. people that drive drunk in the in between stage make that decision because thats the decision that they made before starting to drink.. And just like consensual sex while drunk, the only way to combat that is to change your attitude completely. Just build a mindset that having sex when drunk/driving when drinking even 1 glass is NOT ok.. With that attitude can we only fix the main problem. If you have that attitude, it will work even when you are drunk;
thiat kinda goes to issue 2). To avoid both people having sex and drinking, the attitude about drinking and having sex needs to change. If we understand that we need to be able to consent, than why try and get drunk to have sex? It's such a grey area, that people shouldn't be having sex when they are having a drunk night. If you really want to avoid that whole confusion and be the best person you can be, your attitude needs to change. Once that attitude changes where you understand that you never want to have sex when drinking, it will further continue when you are drunk. it is why when I get drunk that I never want to have sex, because that's my belief and moral. Besides, who wants to have sex when someone broke the seal, and has been peeing for so many times, and probably has the potential to puke or be sloppy.. EW
3) It DOES work both ways. Consensual sex is the way to go, and if someone does prey on someone that is drunk, that is a rapist... If someone is drunk and slurry and gives off that body language, why are you chasing him/her? Shows a lot about your moral
to fix these issues, we need to fix our ideas and morals and set them up so that we can avoid these types of issues... just like we also need to be pro-social bystanders and help and stand up for what is right to avoid anyone from being victims
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 39,572
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If you can say yes then it isn't rape. It isn't right but it's not rape.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 9,012
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Quote:
Originally posted by jomarr
I know that.  I'm talking about "drugs". Illegal drugs. Cocaine, ecstasy, Valium, Heroin etc. |
Having done all those besides heroin, for me alcohol competes with those drugs in the "looseness" it gives you. Estacy makes you more trusting of others and you're more likely to give into temptation because it feels so good, Valium=alcohol, and coke doesn't really impair as much as the reputation it gets. I think because alcohol is legal, people think it is safer but that's not true. It's actually in the top of the worst drugs out there.
I believe these drugs make it easier for you to fall into temptation, but using them you should know that and not put yourself in situations you know you won't be able to control yourself in. That's why I believe in accountability.
If choosing to do these drugs, you should be responsible for knowing your limit before putting yourself in potentially risky situations.
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 3,730
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not if he's my boo 
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Member Since: 10/15/2011
Posts: 7,114
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Quote:
Originally posted by Walley
I'll just take the warning point and say you're extremely stupid. A person can literally get an erection and ejaculate while sleeping.
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Take a reading comprehension class. I mentioned the common belief behind it. 
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Member Since: 9/4/2011
Posts: 29,960
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 3/22/2012
Posts: 53,769
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 40,803
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I don't know tbh 
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Banned
Member Since: 2/12/2012
Posts: 9,586
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Quote:
Originally posted by Guernica
I wouldn't go so far to call it rape but it's definitely sketchy if the man is sober and he knows the girl is intoxicated and therefore not apt to make clear decisions. It's basically willingly taking advantage of somebody when they're not thinking clearly and that's some weak ****. Going after drunk girls because they're "easy" is incredibly lame, be a man and get a girl that's sober.
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I remember this guy telling me him & his friends got this girl drunk then they all digitalled her..
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Banned
Member Since: 2/12/2012
Posts: 9,586
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rider
If he/she enjoy the act, then no.
And if they agree, of course. |
Wtf? You realize rape victims often orgasm because they're being physically penetrated and can't help it even if they don't like it. It's not rape then right?
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 3,188
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No, you can't make a flat out statement that it always is no matter what, because of #2 on your list, which I came into the thread to see if anyone had brought up.
20 somethings in this country base their entire social lives on going out to a bar, getting drunk, and finding another drunk person to have sex with. Thousands if not millions of pairs of drunk people hook up every day.
It's pretty silly to claim that they are all raping each other.
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Banned
Member Since: 2/12/2012
Posts: 9,586
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If my boyfriend has sex with me while I sleep w/o consent and I like having sex with him but try to stop him multiple times cause I don't want to have sex, then it's not rape?
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Member Since: 1/3/2014
Posts: 6,966
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Quote:
Originally posted by seaɴ.
If my boyfriend has sex with me while I sleep w/o consent and I like having sex with him but try to stop him multiple times cause I don't want to have sex, then it's not rape?
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That's rape and irrelevant to the discussion.
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 9,153
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In all honesty, we had this discussion at work the other day and we came to a mutual agreement.
Unless you've had your drink has been spiked, if you become so drunk that you can't make decisions like this, then you're allowing yourself to make decisions you wouldn't normally agree too. That's your own fault.
If you go out, know your limits. This is the real world. The problem with drinking is, people all respond differently.
Some people can seem off their face, but still make solid decisions. Some people can be level headed, but can't comprehend what's happening around them.
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If you optionally go out and drink so much that you lose comprehension of the world around you, then why should other people pay for your stupidity? It's easy to say "oh you can't ask when someone's drunk" but a lot of people can still "seem" level headed, as act the same as they always do.
Some people can also have two cans of beer, and suddenly act drunk as all get out, when they actually aren't.
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It's different when someone is pretty much passed out, and the person doesn't seem able to give proper consent.
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Member Since: 3/7/2011
Posts: 19,696
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Quote:
Originally posted by gloamingtheplain
In all honesty, we had this discussion at work the other day and we came to a mutual agreement.
Unless you've had your drink has been spiked, if you become so drunk that you can't make decisions like this, then you're allowing yourself to make decisions you wouldn't normally agree too. That's your own fault.
If you go out, know your limits. This is the real world. The problem with drinking is, people all respond differently.
Some people can seem off their face, but still make solid decisions. Some people can be level headed, but can't comprehend what's happening around them.
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If you optionally go out and drink so much that you lose comprehension of the world around you, then why should other people pay for your stupidity? It's easy to say "oh you can't ask when someone's drunk" but a lot of people can still "seem" level headed, as act the same as they always do.
Some people can also have two cans of beer, and suddenly act drunk as all get out, when they actually aren't.
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It's different when someone is pretty much passed out, and the person doesn't seem able to give proper consent.
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Or how about teach not to rape...
with this idea, you can say it's the same as not driving because you know that you can sometimes get in an accident, or not go out at all because you know there is a potential to die or get raped or something tragic happening... we wouldn't live...
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Member Since: 8/13/2012
Posts: 32,832
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with straight guys i think it is, i know when they are drunk i could take advantage of them but i just refuse to do so...
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Member Since: 9/2/2012
Posts: 13,773
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Most of the time - before a woman gets drunk, she knows that she wants to have sex after getting drunk.
Sometimes that's even the reason of their drinking.
So no, it's not rape.
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Member Since: 3/6/2014
Posts: 13,097
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Quote:
2. If both parties are drunk and agree to have sex with each other, are they both raping each other?
3. If a man is drunk and decides to have sex with a girl who is sober, why isn't that considered rape given the belief you can't consent to sex while intoxicated?
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Two very good questions 
I wouldn't go as far as to say that its rape because the intoxicated person isn't being forced into anything. Their judgement may be impaired but that doesn't necessarily prevent them from technically being able to consent.
I don't think that it should be considered rape because it would just result in too many legal complications, such as two people being drunk at the same time and being accused of raping each other, which is ridiculous. Also, what happens if you have sex with your spouse while they are drunk? Would that be considered rape even if you are married? How drunk is "too drunk" to provide consent? Even if the person provides consent after the sex occurs and when they are no longer drunk, would it still be considered rape because they weren't able to consent at the time the sex took place?
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