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Originally posted by BILLIONAIRE✘BOY
I'm not the best with with catching every mistake but I also write myself so I could help with different plot holes you might have or just the fluidity of the story in general  |
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It was stagnant the day my executioner was executed himself. The weather didn't get the memo to be gloomy, and saw no point to be perfect. Instead the air was thick and dry, choking anyone who let out a sigh of understanding or closure. The sky was bleak, save but a few stretches of bland clouds. Everything about the atmosphere just was.
The people were equally as stagnant. They saw no point to be happy or sad. None of them except my sister and best friend had lost anything as a result of Jeremiah's slayings. Yet they all felt it was a shame that three people did die. They didn't feel any sense of pride in justice being served, but at the same time they felt that they had done all right by getting rid of such a vile creature. Instead of showing any emotion, they sombrely gathered at the guillotine, and when the axe went they gave a small flinch at the small spray of blood that unexpectedly hit a member of the crowd.
No, nothing about the finality of the events was that great. It was the events themselves that had caused a stir in those that had been pointed at with the bloodied end of a mad man's knife.
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I'm just looking more for if it's good or not and if it flows nicely or if I need to add a bit more detail and make it less stiff.
It's just a little preface to a much bigger thing, too.
