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Discussion: Being gay - the hardest thing?
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 32,106
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Quote:
Originally posted by prunejuicemontes
If he's straight, why did he make out with you?  |
He was tipsy he said  
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 2,408
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Quote:
Originally posted by BobBertran1992
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Girl, he's straight as Robyn's teeth.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 1,712
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Quote:
Originally posted by TRUTH COMMISSION
A black person would understand what a gay person goes through. Cause blacks aren't really accepted just like a gay person ain't. We can't do this cause we this, we that. Blacks/gays gotta worry about how people are gonna feel when there somewhere. It's facts.
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Its not the same sis, so stop it. We black people have it A LOT better than we think.
We need to stop thinking so negativly. I am tired of it.
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Member Since: 4/20/2012
Posts: 6,896
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kai Tai
Hardest thing about being gay in Croatia is that you can't find a single gay person.
And if you do, he is probably miles away or he is all feminine queen.
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Same here, in Cyprus.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 1,712
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It all boils down to self esteem. And I will tell you why:
When you do have high self esteem, you dont look for approval from others. You are comfortable in your own skin, gay or not. It DOES take some work to find a partner and maintain the relationship. You cant expect to sit there and wait for your "perfect" partner falling down above the heaven. No, sistrens. It doesnt work that way.
Yes, you will get rejections. But if you have a healthy self esteem, you will be fine.
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,240
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Quote:
Originally posted by Robotic
It all boils down to self esteem. And I will tell you why:
When you do have high self esteem, you dont look for approval from others. You are comfortable in your own skin, gay or not. It DOES take some work to find a partner and maintain the relationship. You cant expect to sit there and wait for your "perfect" partner falling down above the heaven. No, sistrens. It doesnt work that way.
Yes, you will get rejections. But if you have a healthy self esteem, you will be fine.
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This is true also. I honestly can say I do not have high self esteem, but I also know I'm not repulsive or anything. However, since I've come out probably 4-5 years ago, I've had one long term boyfriend and maybe 2 very short term ones. And by long term, I mean only like 4-5 months. Meanwhile, almost every single one of my friends (straight/gay) have had countless relationships, got engaged, married, etc. I mean, I would much rather have a significant one than tons of little ones, but it would help self esteem a little bit if guys actually found me attractive and wanted to date me :\.
Basically, now that I'm 25 and trying to settle down, and based on where I live, I just don't see it happening soon. It gets very tiring when friends complain to me about having to choose between two guys or something like that, when I haven't had a bf in over a year.
Anyway, /end rant  .
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 1,712
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Quote:
Originally posted by MysticNight
This is true also. I honestly can say I do not have high self esteem, but I also know I'm not repulsive or anything. However, since I've come out probably 4-5 years ago, I've had one long term boyfriend and maybe 2 very short term ones. And by long term, I mean only like 4-5 months. Meanwhile, almost every single one of my friends (straight/gay) have had countless relationships, got engaged, married, etc. I mean, I would much rather have a significant one than tons of little ones, but it would help self esteem a little bit if guys actually found me attractive and wanted to date me :\.
Basically, now that I'm 25 and trying to settle down, and based on where I live, I just don't see it happening soon. It gets very tiring when friends complain to me about having to choose between two guys or something like that, when I haven't had a bf in over a year.
Anyway, /end rant . |
No, it wouldnt help. You have to fix it for yourself. Being together with the most handsome and sexiest men in the world wont fix your problem. Trust me.
If you dont work on your self esteem, you will come off very desperate and clingy. That would make anyone run from you.
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Member Since: 1/31/2012
Posts: 19,942
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For my entire life I've built this "masculine persona." With guys I always talk about girls. Recently since college started, I would try hinting at it, and I hope some people think I am gay, but I haven't had the courage to tell people. Me, my boyfriend and my best friend all went out to the movies. I was supposed to tell my Best friend that I was with my BF, but I never got the courage to do it. My BF was kinda sad, but I definitely hinted at. Going to the bathroom at the same time ( ), holding hands at the theater, touching thighs, paying for my BF at McDonalds etc. But I never flat out said it because I'm terrified of what he would think and if he would still be my friend, event though I know he would.
So tl;dr version, the worst part about being gay is destroying the straight "reputation" I have going with my close friends.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 2,536
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All the masculine cute guys are straight... and that is sad , in my country off course idk about other citys
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Member Since: 11/20/2010
Posts: 7,042
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Clarkson
All you're really saying is 'my life is hard because people only want to have sex with me, be glad nobody finds you attractive enough to look your way, let alone sex'. Being desirable to a point of slight nuisance is nowhere near the same as being immediately deemed sexually repulsive and quarantined.
It's hard enough dealing with homophobic people and general inequalities, but having to endure vitriol from what should be one's own community is an outright travesty. The LGBTQ community's rampant self-discrimination needs to stop, and that begins with people like you realizing that trivializing a minority's issues - and thereby silencing them - is not ok. I'm disappointed but not surprised that nobody else on ATRL had the guts to call you out, and that I had to do it to a fellow Kelly stan no less.
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I called ha out. She tried it.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 1,049
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kool_Aid_King
For my entire life I've built this "masculine persona." With guys I always talk about girls. Recently since college started, I would try hinting at it, and I hope some people think I am gay, but I haven't had the courage to tell people. Me, my boyfriend and my best friend all went out to the movies. I was supposed to tell my Best friend that I was with my BF, but I never got the courage to do it. My BF was kinda sad, but I definitely hinted at. Going to the bathroom at the same time ( ), holding hands at the theater, touching thighs, paying for my BF at McDonalds etc. But I never flat out said it because I'm terrified of what he would think and if he would still be my friend, event though I know he would.
So tl;dr version, the worst part about being gay is destroying the straight "reputation" I have going with my close friends. |
These are huge hints though. 
Were you with your BF before college started?
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 2,240
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kool_Aid_King
For my entire life I've built this "masculine persona." With guys I always talk about girls. Recently since college started, I would try hinting at it, and I hope some people think I am gay, but I haven't had the courage to tell people. Me, my boyfriend and my best friend all went out to the movies. I was supposed to tell my Best friend that I was with my BF, but I never got the courage to do it. My BF was kinda sad, but I definitely hinted at. Going to the bathroom at the same time ( ), holding hands at the theater, touching thighs, paying for my BF at McDonalds etc. But I never flat out said it because I'm terrified of what he would think and if he would still be my friend, event though I know he would.
So tl;dr version, the worst part about being gay is destroying the straight "reputation" I have going with my close friends. |
I kind of know what you mean. I'm not one to just blurt out telling someone I'm gay for no reason. I'm not ashamed persay, but sometimes I just feel like there's no reason to tell people. For example, I've started with a personal trainer recently, and he sometimes points out girls while we're working out (not very professional I suppose...) and I just smile and nod . Most of my college friends know I am, because that's when I came out, but I can't say the same for the few people from high school I still talk to, or people I work with.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 3,540
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kool_Aid_King
For my entire life I've built this "masculine persona." With guys I always talk about girls. Recently since college started, I would try hinting at it, and I hope some people think I am gay, but I haven't had the courage to tell people. Me, my boyfriend and my best friend all went out to the movies. I was supposed to tell my Best friend that I was with my BF, but I never got the courage to do it. My BF was kinda sad, but I definitely hinted at. Going to the bathroom at the same time ( ), holding hands at the theater, touching thighs, paying for my BF at McDonalds etc. But I never flat out said it because I'm terrified of what he would think and if he would still be my friend, event though I know he would.
So tl;dr version, the worst part about being gay is destroying the straight "reputation" I have going with my close friends. |
But college is the perfect time to shed whatever old persona you built for yourself in your developmental and high school years. Is this friend you're referring to an old friend you made back home? Or is it someone you got to know when you went to college? If its the first one, then i sympathize. If its the latter, then I don't understand why you didn't take the opportunity to just come out and be upfront about it when you first made friends with him.
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Member Since: 9/4/2012
Posts: 1,688
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Quote:
Originally posted by Robotic
No, it wouldnt help. You have to fix it for yourself. Being together with the most handsome and sexiest men in the world wont fix your problem. Trust me.
If you dont work on your self esteem, you will come off very desperate and clingy. That would make anyone run from you.
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The truth right here 
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 491
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Homophobia is everywhere(atleast in my country).
Yesterday I was at movies, and there was this scene in the film where guy was choking, and other guy was giving him mouth to mouth breathing, and whole theater went "yikessss", "gross".
I mean, c'mon, it wasn't even anything sexual, I'm gay, and that thought wouldn't cross my mind even for a second while watching, it's just ridicouls!
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Banned
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 54
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The hardest thing for me is coming out, even tho i know the people i wanna come out to will probably accept it, but it's just the feeling of people viewing you as nothing else but a dick-sucking ***. Also what's hard for me is that people view all homosexuals as very feminine, when the truth is that i'm not, but people will still think that because i'm gay and i don't wanna be viewed that way. And there are no cute gays up in here...
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 27
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Sexy straight guys.
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Member Since: 8/28/2012
Posts: 1,722
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Quote:
Originally posted by MysticNight
I think the worst part for me, is that body type and looks seem to be way more important to gay guys than straight couples. I understand you have to be attracted to the person you like, but it seems that unless you have abs and a toned body in the gay world, you will get very little to no attention, at least in my experience. I go to the gym and eat somewhat healthy to make sure I'm healthier, but I can't help but think a big part of this is just so I can look better also. The same thing can be sad for...other body parts physically as well.
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I agree 100%, I cannot even lie, I go to the gym with the aim of looking better in order to 'Get my foot in the door' with some guys. It's sad. But, saying that, I do feel much better about myself with having a healthier lifestyle, but the intentions are slightly superficial.
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Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 34,871
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kai Tai
Girl, he's straight as Robyn's teeth.
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 omf
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Member Since: 5/14/2009
Posts: 34,871
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Quote:
Originally posted by FreeXone
Idk how much I gel with this. I'm black and stay getting white and latin guys.
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This. And honestly I think its cuz they want tha big ****
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