THE Billboard Chart this year relentlessly sat on the faces of our beloved pop gurls and crushed all their hopes at having even just a decent era. The cockroach of pop, Britney Spears probably sucked the fart out of Billboard's asshole more than any other artist. Britney Jean was a flawless album and secured Britney's place as my second favourite artist, but that didn't stop the GP from treating it like toilet-TRASH. Gaga and Avril had it pretty bad too because they now acompany Xtina and Keri Hilson down in Shrek's swamp because well... the album sales speak for themselves. But it's not about the charts! It's about the BOP-matter of music! And since I've a better taste than Billboard, I've compiled an accurate chart of the 100 best music releases in 2013.
EXPECT A LOT OF: KE$HA | BRITNEY | KATY | GAGA | LORDE __________________________________________________ ______________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________________________
I SHALL ALSO BE ANNOUNCING THE
SWAMP OGRE OF POP MUSIC... SO STAY TUNED!
( WILL BE REVEALED 12/28/13 )
__________________________________________________ ______________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________________________
I WILL UNVEIL THE SPIDER OF POP
MUSIC IN THIS SPACE... SO CHECK BACK SOON!
( WILL BE REVEALED 1/5/14 ) __________________________________________________ ______________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________________________________
Just for fun, I will be adding any track that flopped in Shrek's smelly swamp. Let's see how many tracks Shrek collects by the end of this Best Of! How many times did your fave flop?
omg ks_legend has outdone himself, I am so ****ing excited. If Last Goodbye doesn't get at least Top 5 though, we're going to need to have some serious words. Can't wait for the results!
THIS track is lucky to even chart in my Hot 100. I don't know whether I put it in because I was running out of tracks to compile, or for the reason that I just felt sorry for it. But it's a cute rock-pop song that has a catchy chorus. One thing I don't like about this song is the title and how Gags tries to be clever with it... the entire "you wanna be man-cured / MANICURE" thing is just a little cheesy; cheesier than the entire idea of 'ARTPOP' I dare say. She could have delivered with better lyrics but nevertheless I give this song a 5.8/10. ARTPOP has many great tracks that chart much higher than this song, so don't you worry little monsters.
NOW who ever thought Becky G would chart on anything... ever? It's even a surprise for me she came in higher than Gaga on my Hot 100, who sits at #100 with her song MANiCURE. Built For This is a very addicting bop that's also annoying at the same time. It sounds like someone scratched the single's CD on a pile of concrete, hence all the 'grain' you can hear in the song. But I love dancing to the song like Becky does in her music video, regardless. Congrats on charting, G. But will we see you again? Even if we wont, Shrek will keep you company in his swamp because Built For This flopped.
YES STAN BECKY G OFMG!!!!!!!!! Built For THis is such a bop I hate Dr. Luke?////
Also Man Cure is ok. I feel bad for it too but I doubt itll make my top 200 tbh.
FLAWLESS is one of the most flawed songs on Beyonce's new album! Hence why it finds itself at #98 on Legend's Hot 100. The message behind the song is great, and anthems that have the ability to make women feel empowered are fantastic... expect when the song itself isn't really that good. Like I'm not gonna make a song about gay rights and act like it's good if it sounds like explosive diarrhea. Flawless has replay value and by all means is not a bad song, it's just pretty weak. Oh well. I give it a 5.9/10. Will we discover more charting Beyonce songs along this Best Of journey? We shall see.
WELL well well. If it isn't the first revealed Avril Lavigne song! This song is a nice ballad that features Lavigne's husband (I forgot his name and can't be bothered looking it up for the sake of putting it in this review) and a beautiful piano, violins and stuff. I don't have much to say about this track because it's not really interesting. Let me just give it a 5.9/10 and take it down to Shrek's swamp of flops. I would tell you its BB100 peak, but I don't want to embarrass it.
WHAT a nice, chill and laid back song! Beyonce's vocals in this song sound great and the production is neat. But did I just hear "Let me sit this ass on you" in the opening lyric? Now that's how you open a song! Rocket has clever and sexy lyrics that make the song interesting. I'm gonna imagine Joe Jonas singing this song to me whenever I listen to it Enjoy your 6.1/10, Rocket. You would be higher if you weren't so REPETITIVE and BORING. The next Bey song will be unveiled soon... sooner than y'all think!