Up top, you'll see one minute from the 30 minutes of footage taken of 59-year-old Hulk Hogan, professional wrestler, Real Life American Hero to many, ****ing a woman rumored to be the ex-wife of his best friend, a famous radio DJ named Bubba the Love Sponge. This footage was stealthily circulated last April. TMZ reported its existence, The Dirty showed some screen shots, and Hulk lawyered up because he claims he was "secretly filmed." Last week, a burned DVD copy of Hulk having sex with the woman rumored to be Heather Clem (Bubba's ex-wife), was delivered to us through an anonymous source. They wanted no payment. They wanted no credit. Their only request was that we watch it. So I did—all 30:17 of it—and hyperbole aside, it's a goddamn masterpiece.
"You got a rubber? I want you to climb on top of me," Hulk repeats, but not as sexy as it was the first time, which she didn't hear. Yes, she does have a rubber. Then we watch Hulk stand up and clumsily attempt to roll a condom on to his erect penis which, even if it has been ravaged by steroids and middle-age, still appears to be the size of a thermos you'd find in a child's lunchbox. Hulk hurls his massive body on to the canopy bed and the woman climbs on top, finally, and they begin. There is lots of squealing and moaning from her and she says stuff like, "I want to make you ***" and, "Your dick feels so good inside me"—that sort of thing. There is light spanking from Hulk done to show he supports her efforts and is close to orgasming.
That article, seriously, is one of the most hilarious things I have ever read. Makes the whole experience worth it.
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This goes on for a few minutes and at one point Hulk examines the canopy bed curtains in a way that suggests he'd like to purchase this particular style for his own canopy bed some day.
