"For as long as I can remember, I knew something wasn't right with this Mariah Carey person"
"Why do I know? Because she got more arrogant. I don't know if she was programmed to act that way or what"
"The old Mariah Carey had a wider nose. This Mariah right here has a fake nose"
"This Mariah right here, she looks mannish...very sinister"
"The real Mariah Carey was thin...now she is big boned"
"Her chin is a little bit fatter. At first, the Mariah Carey replacements weren't that bad. Since 1999, they have been circling the drain. They got bigger and they haven't been as pretty and things like that"
"The one on the left, she has a natural look and looks more human"
"I hate to break this to ya'll, but all the early Mariah clones are dead"
I'm sorry, but I am ****ing CRYING!
