Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 2,283
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Advice to newly out gays:
- Sub-Subcultures, like bear or twink, can be fun at first but don’t let them consume your identity. Don’t divide yourself further, we’re already a minority.
- Send nudes with caution. Learn when to place your trust. You don’t owe him anything, and if he thinks you do then he doesn’t deserve you.
- If he’s “masc only” then he’s still got hang ups about being out. Avoid him.
- Don’t discriminate against femme guys. We owe the revolution to femmes, never forget that.
- If you chat with a guy for more than a day, he’s local and he still hasn’t set a time to meet you, he’s not really interested. Move on.
- You are not an asshole for blocking someone who won’t take a hint.
- Never give out information when you aren’t comfortable. Last thing you need is a stalker.
- Threesomes with couples can be amazing, but make sure it’s a balanced relationship and always meet them first. Know what you’re getting into.
- In that same vein, don’t date anyone who isn’t out yet or is on the “down low.” That could mean anything from being underage to having a wife. Don’t be a home wrecker.
- The minute you learn someone is underage, end it. Do not contact them further. Tell them goodbye, and report them. Lives have been ruined because of statutory rape, and as callous as it sounds, they are not your problem.
- Older guys can be tender and educational, blending intimacy with knowledge. That being said, beware of creeps who would reduce you to an uncomfortable fetish.
- You will meet “bearlebrities” or guys who otherwise have a huge social media following for looks or some other reason. They can be sweet, but they aren’t gods. Don’t worship them and beat yourself up for wanting something unobtainable.
- Don’t date anyone who calls himself a bearlebrity, earned title or otherwise. Egos run rampant in this community, a huge ego usually indicates a ****** partner.
- Yes, gogo dancers are cute and friendly but their best friend is your wallet. Tip them if you like, don’t expect anything real to come of it.
- For the love of god, always play safe.
- Whether you’re safe or not, get regular testing. Know your status.
- HIV is not a death sentence anymore. Just be aware, keep playing safe, and don’t be prejudiced.
- If you have access to Truvada and you aren’t using it, you’re an idiot and you’re playing Russian roulette.
- Truvada takes up to two weeks to start working properly.
- Be honest.
- Be open, your comfort zone is meant to expand.
- The minute it hurts too much, make it vocally known. If he wants to keep going and you can’t, end it.
- If you can’t start or end the day without checking the apps, then you need to take a break and get your priorities straight.
- If you only take one thing from this, remember: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO.
now go be gay!
http://notlostonanadventure.tumblr.c...g-my-time-as-a
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