This is hilarious. Fans from Gaga Boards are waiting for the video and the official thread now has over 400 pages. They made this (Credit to ZiggyStardust):
Quote:
(Scene 1 Act 1. Gaga sits at her computer. She's where a dress made of [insert random object here]. Haus of Gaga enters.)
Haus of Gaga: Gaga... please. Its been long enough.
Gaga: No.
Haus of Gaga: Its beautiful...
Gaga: Yes.
Haus of Gaga: Then why don't you just let us release it??
Gaga: Not ready yet.
Haus of Gaga: But it IS ready Gaga. Its perfect--
Gaga: No. I mean they're not ready yet.
Haus of Gaga: Who? You mean you're little monsters?
Gaga: Yes. They're not ready yet. This thread doesn't even have 400 pages yet.
Haus of Gaga: Why do pages matter???
Gaga: BECAUSE THIS IS ART! WHERE'S MY ****ING TEA CUP!
Haus of Gaga: Its right next to you Gaga!
Gaga: But its empty. WHY WOULD I WANT AN EMPTY TEA CUP!?
Haus of Gaga: Would you like some more tea?!
Gaga: Yes.
Haus of Gaga: We will get you that tea. Anything else?
Gaga: No... that's all.
(Haus of Gaga exits quickly... Gaga look at computer screen.)
Gaga: These lazy...****ers.
Quote:
(Act 1 Scene 2. Gaga still sitting at computer. This time with full tea cup. She watches in silence)
(Haus of Gaga enters as single unit. They are made up of 20. Move together)
Haus of Gaga: Have they made it to 500 yet Gaga?
Gaga: No.
Haus of Gaga: Well where are they?
Gaga: 400.
Haus of Gaga: Isn't that enough, Gaga?
Gaga: No.
Haus of Gaga: But the Telephone video didn't even have that many pages.
Gaga: And so we should go back? We should accept less? Is that progressive? IS THAT ART?
Haus of Gaga: Well... they've been waiting a really long time and you keep telling them in your concerts its only a few days away-- so don't you think its time?
Gaga: It is only a few days away! And what is time? Andy Warhol didn't live by time! HE LIVED BY ART!
Haus of Gaga: But how is 500 pages art?
Gaga: Because I tell IT it IS!!! (goes to grab tea then stops) I... I don't want this anymore. Take it.
(Haus of Gaga takes tea cup)
Gaga: Get me... Get me my piano...not the key board. I need the piano. I must create.
Haus: Yes Gaga (Haus exits quickly and rolls out piano to Gaga).
Gaga: Leave me.
Haus: Yes Gaga (Haus exits)
Gaga: (Begins to play and sing).... If you could see that I'm the one who understands you... been here all along... so why can't you see... you be long with me.... (she stops) You belong with me.
Quote:
(Scene 3 Act 1)
(Gaga sits playing at her piano where we last left her. She's coming to the end of one of her favorite songs)
Gaga: WHYYYY oooo Why---iiiii. Why o why. why o why....Can't you see.... you belong too... muther ****in'... you selfish selfish boyyy! TO MEEEE!
(She stops singing) God. I love that song. Surely my fans are close to 500 pages by now. (Gaga moves back to computer) HAUS! ASSEMBLE!
(Haus of Gaga enters together as one unit. They're all wearing hats made of bamboo in carved into the shape of a banana..)
Haus of Gaga: Is it time for the video Gaga?
Gaga: No. They're only on page 403. What are you wearing?
Haus of Gaga: Bamboo banana hats.
Gaga: This pleases me. I get what you're trying to communicate. It provokes me.
Haus of Gaga: We're glad you like it.
Gaga: Don't be glad. You don't need my approval for your art. You should be glad without my approval. That's Rilke.
Haus of Gaga: Oh.... Sorry Gaga. You know we've been getting a lot of questions about when the video is coming out.
Gaga: And I've told you. When this thread reaches 500 pages.
Haus of Gaga: But what if it never reaches 500 pages? That's a lot. And if they keep posting without news that could be considered spam and they could get in trouble for that...
Gaga: Are you not willing to get in trouble for you're art?
Haus of Gaga: We are. But your little monster might not...
Gaga: If they truly understand the message that is Ga... they will make this thread 500 pages. If they can count to 10,000 they can do this. NOW I WANT MORE TEA!
(Haus of Gaga runs out to get Gaga more tea)
Gaga: ****... I'm going to have to pee soon.... but I can't leave this chair... they might hit 500... if only there was a way I could be on my cordless and portable laptop AND be on the potty at the same time... hmmm... I GOT IT! TOILET CHAIR! HAUS OF GAGA! I HAVE AN IDEA!
Quote:
(Scene 4 Act 1)
(We see Gaga still at her laptop this time she doesn't sit in her previous chair. She sits on bright red thrown. It looks like the tree from the star-y night painting. It is a toilet. ***I should be noted that with every scene change Gaga changes her outfit to another random object)
(She looks blankly into her computer.)
Gaga: Wow. This might just be the greatest thing ever. I think I'll put it in my next video. Which will be Dance in the Dark. I don't know why so many people insist its Monster. But its not. I would tell my little monsters about this, but then they would start posting in the "Dance in the Dark:Video Thread. They're not even finished with Alejandro thread yet. (she starts to scroll on her computer) Let's see what they're talking about instead...."Who was your favorite singing BEFORE Gaga" **** that.... "Christina Aguilera's Bonic isn't Copying Gaga".... HAUS!
(Haus enters)
Haus of Gaga: Are you pleased with your toilet chair?
Gaga: Very much so. I feel much more productive now. Thank you. But now I have a problem.
Haus of Gaga: Yes, Gaga?
Gaga: Who is this Christina Aguilere?
Haus of Gaga: She another pop sensation. She sings about being a genie in a bottle.
Gaga: She's a GENIE?
Haus of Gaga: Well... its a metaphor...
Gaga: Its called copying! That's what it is!
Haus of Gaga: Come again??
Gaga: Monster... Genie... its the same thing...
Haus of Gaga: Well actually she was a Genie back in the 90's
Gaga: I've been a Monster since I was born. Just no one knew. That's the fame.
Haus of Gaga: But if no one knew... how did she copy you...?
Gaga: (spoken in weird accent) That's a ridiculous question.
Haus of Gaga: (to one another)... She used the voice... oh...no...
Gaga: I want you to research this "genie" Perhaps she is preforming genie stuff and keep the Alejandro thread from reaching its full potential...
Haus of Gaga: Yes...
Gaga: GO!
(Haus of Gaga leaves)
Gaga: AND I LOVE THE TOILET CHAIR BY THE WAY!!
Quote:
(Scene 5 Act 1)
(Gaga sits typing furiously at her computer. She's wearing another new outfit and in between this scene and the last her computer has turned green. We don't know why.)
Gaga: Not only is she a genie... but she seems to be some sort of half woman robot thing... theif! Ugg I can't take much more of this. What would Bowie do....?
(Magical music plays and David Bowie enters)
Bowie: Hello. I'm 1983 David Bowie.
Gaga: O...mygod.
Bowie: You have a question for me?
Gaga: I... yes.... marry me?
Bowie:...
Gaga: Joke. Joke. I joke. hehe.... I want to know what to do about this bionic genie....
Bowie: Bionic genie...?
Gaga: Yes...
Bowie: Well I'm a spaceman.
Gaga: Yes...
Bowie: And you're a monster.
Gaga: Yes...
Bowie: So theirs your answer.
Gaga: I don't know what that means.
Bowie: And nobody ever does... Let me explain it to you... in song. (Bowie Grabs his guitar. Lights change. Magic. He begins to play a few notes)
(Haus of Gaga enters)
Haus of Gaga: Gaga!
(Bowie disappears into thin air at their appearance)
Gaga: Wait! Bowie come back! ... You made him leave....
Haus of Gaga: Who?
Gaga: 1983 David Bowie... This better be good.
Haus of Gaga: Well... we were looking up Christina... and then we saw something truly alarming...
Gaga: I already know she's half robot/woman.
Haus of Gaga: No Gaga! That's not it! .... Your video might leak.
Gaga: WHAT?!
Haus of Gaga: Apparently, people are trying to leak your video....
Gaga: (stand on toilet chair) NEVER! Besides! My fans would never watch that--- even if it did!
Haus of Gaga: Well... some are saying they might...
Gaga: (She sits back down really quiet. Puts her sunglasses back on. Uses her scary voice.) I'm displeased with this. If my fans watch my video... before I release it... I will be quite sad.
Haus of Gaga: We are doing everything we can to keep it safe Gaga.
Gaga: (still in scary voice) You're very kind.
Haus of Gaga: Yes.... umm... we're going to go work on that....
Gaga: Yes.
(Haus of Gaga exits)
(Gaga turns to computer.)
Gaga: I WANT 500 ****ing pages! .... or I... will RE-SHOOT this video!
Of course she delayed it. They're edting her to death like they did her other videos. I personally think she's pretty without all the photoshop effects but whatever.
This is such a mess. It was supposed to come out on Monday, but last night she announced that it's premiering on Sunday. I contacted her team to find out why it got pushed up and found out that it's in fact been pushed back to Tuesday and she was incorrect.
This is such a mess. It was supposed to come out on Monday, but last night she announced that it's premiering on Sunday. I contacted her team to find out why it got pushed up and found out that it's in fact been pushed back to Thursday and she was incorrect.
Quote:
Originally posted by Kirill
She did though, it's now coming on Tuesday.
So is it Tuesday or Thursday or Sunday? I'm confused now
she didn't.
