Member Since: 2/18/2010
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What is a Bully and How to Handle Them
A bully is a person who hurts, frightens, or tyrannizes those people who are smaller or weaker. The bully intimidates and is aggressive. Because bullies have low self esteem and low confidence they usually look for a person that is weaker than them.
Some people agree that bullies have a very high self esteem. I personally don't think so. If a bully is a person that can't handle aggression in healthy ways and usually look for victims they definitely lack self-esteem. Bullies tend to look strong and confident, but this is a mask to cover up their fears and inability to handle aggression.
According to the American Psychological Association, bullies are described as "Impulsive, easily frustrated, dominant in personality, and difficulty conforming to rules". Bullying usually start early in life and if this behavior is not corrected, it will be repeated.
Often time's people who are bullied are shy and very passive, they lack the ability to stand up for themselves. Have feelings of helplessness and dependence. Therefore, this bullied people also lack self-esteem and confidence.
The main difference between a bully and a victim is that the bully will have a tendency to engage in criminal behavior later in life. The bullied, on the other hand, will be more likely to suffer from low self-esteem and depression. Bullying can be done in different forms: calling names, threading, spreading rumors, joke about your size, race, religion, physical abuse and so on.
How can we handle bullies? Here are some tips:
* The first step if you are victim is to start building self-esteem. By establishing strong boundaries and learning to stand up you will stop bullies.
* Learn to be assertive and firm. Say: I am not going to take this... You are trying to make me feel bad but is not working... and so on.
* Always make eye contact. Look directly at the bully when you speak.
* Keep your voice strong and firm without shouting.
If you find that you are a victim of bullies, don't ignore this fact. Remember that bullies are attracted to passive people who lack self confidence .You need to take action and before taking action, be prepared. The best way to take action is building self-esteem and confidence.
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