Hi guys,

I know that we fight over our favs all the time but at the end of the day, ATRL is our 2nd home or at least mine that I can check in and learn something new everyday from music, TV shows to world's news, and of course personal experience & stories.

Therefore, today I would like to post my story and I hope that you guys will join this topic with me and give me some advices. I have an exam tomorrow but I can't help it, I need to talk this out.

But before I start telling you guys my story that I wanted to talk about and ask you guys for advice please excuse my english and my grammar mistakes because I wasn't born here in the U.S. And For those of you who doesn't want to read the whole story, please take a look at my questions bellow for discussion.


I went to High School here in the U.S. and I got to know a girl, we weren't not that close but she was one of those friends that I would say hi whenever I walk pass her in school and have like a 1 minute talk to each other. Fast forward, after high school, I found out that she has gastric cancer, she fought like a warrior and she was one of my inspirations through out my whole year. 2 years later, which is now, she past away about more than a month ago, when I found out that she passed away, my mood went from happy and energetic to sad and exhausted, I cried a lot, even though we weren't close to each other and we didn't even have any memories together.

In my life, my parents come first and my favorite aunt comes second, I love her a lot, I even called her "mom" since I was young till now because she's like my second mom and she aways treats me like her son. Other than my parents she cares for me a lot and we have a lot of beautiful memories together. In June 2014, there was a big lump in her stomach, and it was growing so big that she was having a hard time walking. She went to see a doctor, and the doctor told her that this lump has been laying in her stomach for years sucking all the nutrients to grow up this big. They were able to setup a surgery for her, everything went well. She got rid of the big lump, then she shaved her head to do chemo. In January 2015, she finished her chemo session after all those time, she told me that she's feeling really well, and her doctor also told her that she won't have cancer anymore. Her hair started to grow back and I was really happy to see that. However in mid March, 2015, she told everyone that she feels some lumps again in her stomach, but we all thought that she was allergic to the stitching line that they sewed for her after her first surgery. But as days go by the lumps started to get bigger and bigger, as of now her stomach is as big as a pregnant lady who has a 9-months baby. Those lumps started to expose but still laying under her skin. However I could clearly see all of them, each of them is as big as a lemon. Her doctor was really surprised by how fast they grow and he said that these lumps are coming back and that they couldn't do anything by now. And that she has only 2 months to survive, because this is a rare type of cancer, it's hard for them to help her survive a little bit longer.

I cried a lot when I heard about this, and it's really hard for me to see her lumps growing day by day meanwhile her health is getting worse. As of now she can't walk that far, she can't eat anything, and she told me that those lumps hurt her a lot. I've been stressed out lately thinking about her, and I've been looking at old pictures that I took with her, I can't concentrate because I keep thinking of her passing away soon. I'm scared, I don't want that day to come...

Please help me by answering these questions:
How do you guys strengthening your emotions and how do you guys get over someone's death?

If you would like to leave me some advices and supports please do so, I really need one right now.

Thank you for taking your time reading this and spending your time with me.

I've been emotionally stunted since 13. I just learned not to care about anything ever. My apathy levels are ridiculously high. Would not recommend though. I can't think of a single person that if they died I would be devastated. I imagine you'll just need time and support from people you love. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Don't let yourself get too down.

I think the most important thing is to let the grief happen. When my uncle passed, I surpressed a lot of emotion to seem strong etc. But that's a horrible thing to do to yourself because now, 3 years later it's hitting me even harder. Everyone deals with it differently but it's just important to let the sadness and grief happen and to take your time. If you wanna cry an entire day and lay in bed and feel like ****, do it. You need it to really let your emotions out. I also recommend talking to other people about it, although that can feel even more horrible. Talking about your feelings does you good.

I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through and I wish you all the best.