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Discussion: Post your fave's Uncyclopedia page.
Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Post your fave's Uncyclopedia page.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 26,845
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Ms. Lady Gaga, also known as Lady Goo Goo, Lady Gag-Worthy and Baby Dribble (real name Stefani Joanne Mussolino Angelina Vito Corleone La Himo XV), is an androgynous oddball Illuminati tool, aged somewhere between 8 and 45, and has build a solid reputation as a current trend pop-singer who will be as forgotten about in ten years. Her gender is probably male, contrary contrary to popular belief, although scientists are working to confirm this. Gaga is known for her outrageous style, which often involves strange costumes and flammable substances. Her two sisters are Lady Sovereign and Lady Hawke who make equally catchy music to Lady Gaga. As of right now, her global fame shows no signs of diminishing, despite the attempts of numerous assasins and the fact that she has only three hit songs, meaning she has the highest hits to fame ratio since Vanilla Ice.
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Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 21,185
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Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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Originally posted by theus
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Guess there's nothing to drag!
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Member Since: 3/2/2014
Posts: 4,794
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This site isn't relevant enough for my fave apparently.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 2,380
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“She kissed a girl, and she liked it? I've never heard anything so disgusting in my life!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Katy Perry
Katheryn Prudence Hudson (born October 25, 1984), better known by her stage name Katy Perry, is an American singer with some songwriting credits and perfect ****. Hudson was raised by fundamentalist Christians and grew up listening to only gospel music and reading only the Bible and Chick tracts as a child. After dropping out of high school at age fourteen, she began to pursue a career as a gospel singer, but ultimately failed due to the fact that people only want to hear gospel music sung by morbidly obese African-American women.
After striking a deal for a recording contract, Hudson renamed herself "Katy Perry" and launched a new career that could best be described as a combination between pop musician and adult film actress. She rose to fame with her second single "I Kissed a Girl" and the mind-blowingly mediocre follow-up, "California Gurls."
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,625
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Article not about Beyonce
(Redirected from Beyonce)
[Picture of Beyoncé]
This is Beyoncé Knowles, but this article is not about her.
Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter (born September 4 1981) is a seventeen-time Grammy Award-winning American R&B singer, songwriter, record producer, Golden Globe Award-nominated actress, dancer, and fashion designer and weave model for House of Deréon. However, this article is not about her. Apologies go out to all of those that may have searched for information on Miss Knowles on this site and came up without relevant results, as this article is not about her.
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nnn
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,625
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"Britney Seducing Bush to drain his soul, after which she said, "Invade Iraq Now Because I Say So!"."
 the funniest part from the Britney article
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Member Since: 11/3/2011
Posts: 13,986
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Rihanna is also notorious for a forehead larger than that of any baseballer on steroids. This appendage may add unique resonance to her music, and may serve as a defensive weapon the next time Chris Brown wants to lay down the law.
Though accused by Rupert Murdoch of being a mutant; as revealed by the high priestess of Artificial Pseudoscientology Madonna, Rihanna is actually an ancient Sumerian fertility, death and war goddess who starred in Erich von Daniken's Battleship.
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http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rihanna
I can't breathe 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 3/2/2014
Posts: 5,367
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Coldplay (aka U2) is a Radiohead cover band also known as The Chris Martin Band. Taken into the hearts of everyone, Coldplay garnered a reputation of being "lovely sane lads" (Sir Paul McCartney). Legend has it that there are three more members of Coldplay apart from just Chris Martin. As of November 2011, these band members have yet to reveal themselves to the public, while speculation has mounted in the past about who, or what, they really are. Most notably in 2007, The Daily Telegraph ran an investigation into who the drummer was, confirming it was the late Dennis Hopper. Coldplay have since denied this, claiming that Dennis is too much of a nice guy.
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Banned
Member Since: 2/25/2012
Posts: 5,503
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Member Since: 8/29/2012
Posts: 2,696
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The Christina Aguilera (originally Christina Agorilla) *****-bot series are a number of robotic death machines sent back in time to destroy the human race and cut off baby boys foreskins without their consent. She is the world's second richest *****, behind Britney Spears, she has the world record for worlds biggest skank, but also looks like an orange, and has the same skin texture as an orange too!
Her *****-bot method of death is throwback-themed music. Her first album was a throwback to the music Britney had made a year before. Her second album was a throwback to Method Man's "Let's Get Dirty" when she made her own version called "Dirrty". Her third album is a throwback to the 20's, no 30's, no 40's-whatever. It was a throwback to some 30-year period of time summed up on two discs of siren-like whaling. Her next album, due in the year 2020, will be a throwback to the music that is popular now.
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OH MY GOD  RUTHLESS.
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Lee is known for her diverse lyrical themes which vary among: death, dying, someone else dying, love, being in love with someone whilst dying, dying whilst trying to love someone, dying outside, dying inside, dying in a doorway while half inside-half out, sleeping and dying, trying not to sleep while loving something while dying, dying again, and of course angst.
The band burst onto the music scene in 2003 with their smash hit single "Bring Me to Life". Lee based the lyrics for the song on an incident that occurred at a New York restaurant. The establishment has since stopped offering tables on its window ledge.
The subsequent album, Fallen, continued Evanescence's distinctly-non-flavour-of-the-month success. The record went platinum many times over. This delighted Lee, as platinum is a metal often ignored in favour of gold, thus making it more beautiful on the inside. Standout tracks from the album include "Going Under", about an emotionally and physically damaging relationship and "Tourniquet", which is written from a Christian standpoint. The song is about suicide.
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AMY LEE 
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 1,674
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Ke$ha, aka "Ka$hew" and "Ketchup" or, to give him hi$ correct name, Michelle $tarborgling Jr i$ an incredibly talented mu$ical tran$ve$tite, with a pa$$ion for clapped out old rock$tar$ e.g. Mick Jagger. A$ an "arti$t" ($)he ha$ $old a few album$ world wide and i$ famou$. ($)he is known to drink copiou$ amount$ of her mouthwa$h of choice, Jack Daniel'$ and $pend$ most of her day$ dedicating $ong$ to her 'haterr$$$'. Who the hater$ are exactly, remain$ to be $een. ($ee al$o $chizophrenia).
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Ke$ha ha$ relea$ed one pathetic excu$e for an album, 'Animal'$ I've Banged'. $he ha$ confirmed that mo$t of the lyric$ from her album have been remini$cent of her younger year$ in which $he worked a$ a pro$titute. Her next album wa$ called 'Cannibal'$ I've Banged' (which ha$ a completely different name than the fir$t). $he/he write$ about loving your$elf if you are gay in one $ong, but in the other, $he $ay$ that her boyfriend ha$ a vagina becau$e $he love$ contradiction$.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 43,104
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http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kelly_Clarkson
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Kelly Brianne Clarkson (born April 24, 1982) is an American pop rock singer-songwriter and actress. Clarkson is possibly the best Gospel writer and singer to ever walk the face of the planet (apart from Jennifer Hudson). She was plucked from obscurity by infamous nasty man Simon Cowell in an attempt to make more money than the Osbournes. However she became too powerful for even Simon to handle and thus developed into the evil mecha-assassin that she is today. She is currently at war with her arch nemesis Clive Davis. She is the estranged daughter of Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear fame.
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Stan a bit  The rest of the page is a mess
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Originally posted by Cupcake.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 9,522
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Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll, more popularly known as Shakes the Clown (not to be confused with Shaquille O'Neil), is a Latina-Lebanese-Spanish-Catalan-American-Russian-Borg-Madonna-...Colombian? singer from Tromsø
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Shakira's page is a ****ing mess http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Shakira
I'm done!
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Gwen Stefani (pronounced Gwen Steph-A-Knee) is a Jewish American songwriter, self-proclaimed black woman, wannabe Japanese cosplay gangster schoolgirl, still-ain't-no-Hollaback girl, and fashion designer who is famous for wearing gigantic shoes. She began singing at age 9, which soon developed into a full-blown Masturbot obsession with the band R.E.M.. This obsession brought forth her desire for a name change and she decided on having a composite name of the most evil things (mostly every artist around) she could think of.
People realised she could sing when she joined the ska band No Doubt but she unfortunately turned chav and started mixing with R&B scum like Pharrell and Akon. It is well known that What You Waiting For was a generally good song but after that, she started releasing trash like Hollaback Girl.
She currently thinks she is a black woman like James Brown's last wife, in what's known as "Justin Timberlake Syndrome". Sometimes, she thinks she's Japanese and was born in Tokyo Disneyland to a poor-but-fashionably-dressed Harajuku prostitute and a rich, 80-year-old businessman named Dickruheadru Stefani. This probably explains why Gwen Stefani dresses like an Alice in Wonderland wannabe and carries all those 'Harajuku' girls around that are born and raised in Korea.
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Member Since: 9/3/2011
Posts: 14,867
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Kylie Minogue is a mineral with a very high electrical resistance, as big as a Boeing 777's **** and the best arse. When heated to 268 degrees Celsius, Kylie becomes a non-flammable, inert gas called Kylium used as a pharmaceutical anti-toxin.
Because of Kylie's electrical properties, she is often found in demanding opto-electrical situations and is widely believed to hold the key to quantum cryptography. She is the more beautiful and talented older sister of Dannii Minogue, who can sing or dance like a drunk Czech kid. She should go far, such as the moon or Venus. She is also the most successful mineral ever to make headway in the popular music charts, beating granite, which once made it to number 47 in Iceland with a cover version of "Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting", and rivalling the TV fame of Sapphire and Steel. The fact that steel is not a mineral as such never seemed to bother anyone. The imposter.
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Poor Dannii.
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Member Since: 8/1/2012
Posts: 3,817
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Lady Gaga's lesbian lover, playing with Gaga's balls, which are much bigger than yours, by the way.
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What is this mess
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Member Since: 8/1/2012
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 11,618
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I can't