Member Since: 8/5/2012
Posts: 301
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How would you define 'two faced'?
Most people believe that being 'two faced' means talking negatively about someone behind their back. But when you look into it, having two faces implies one is completely different to the other. For example, you can say to a friends face that they are the nicest person you have ever met, then behind their back say to someone else that they are the most horrible person you've ever met. THAT is what I believe being two faced is, when you contradict something you previously said to someones face and are being hypocritical.
I think there's a difference between being 'two faced' and 'non-confrontational'. If you're having difficulty getting on with a friend for some reason, maybe you're having disagreements over things, then you'd want to seek advice from others about how to handle the situation. For non-confrontational people and people pleasers, talking to the person involved face to face isn't their way of dealing with it, but at the same time they need to somehow let their feelings out instead of keeping them boxed in, especially if it's a lot they're going through. Talking to people and seeking advice is very reasuring and can help a lot. But just because they'd rather be peaceful and mature by trying to avoid causing more problems with the person involved, would that automatically make them 'two faced', since they're not talking to them in person?
Sorry for the essay, but the reason I'm asking this is because recently, I've been having a lot of disagreements with a friend in my small group. It's over our religous beliefs, voting for independence, whether I can hang around with people they don't like or not, and some other things. I made the choice to follow God and join a religious group, and this girl in my group who is an athiest has been completely mocking by beliefs, trying to make me feel like i'm doing the wrong thing and convince me that's it's wrong. I just wanted to let her believe in what she wants and get on with it, but with her, it's either her way or nothing. It was all getting too much, I felt like I was being disrespected and unnaccepted so I decided to talk to someone else in the group about it who I thought would be understanding and open minded. I told him how I felt and everything that was happening, and he just sort of avoided the subject, looked at me with concern then said "Why are you being two faced? You should just talk to her face to face about it.". It hurt me, because I was being made out to be a gossiping b*tch/backstabber when all I was doing was seeking assurance about something that had been bothering me for weeks.
I think simply we all have different ways of dealing with things, and it's unfair to label non-confrontational people as 'two faced' and villains. When I was with the girl mocking my beliefs, I was pretty much silent the whole time before I decided to let my feelings out to the other guy in the group. I didn't contradict anything I said to her, and I wasn't being hypocritical, so I don't understand why I was called 'two faced'. I bet if he, or anyone, went through what I was going through, they'd want to let their feelings out to someone as well.
So, tell me what you think and be honest. Does 'two faced' really mean generally talking about someone non face to face, or being hypocritical?
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