Doesn't literally everyone (white, asian, black etc.) here says the n word?
Me personally.... I'm never bothered by any words.
Not really the one to correct people on that tbh.
If you feel it's hurtful to you, and it bothers you then I guess neither should use it.
But it would be kind of hypocritical if you don't want her to use anti-gay words when you go around dropping the f bomb the entire time.