Last night, Mitch Kramer, a fifteen year old high school freshman from Clarksville near Austin, Texas, when asked if he had a “joint”, was told that it would be “a lot cooler” if he did have a joint.
“Everyone knows that drugs are cool,” continued Wooderson in a distinctive southern drawl. “The kids of this town need me man, a twenty five year old high school dropout who hangs out with high schoolers, lives with his parents and works a menial nine to five job, to tell them that,” declared Wooderson. “Smoking joints is definitely the coolest way to take drugs so I just told the little geek straight out that he’d be a lot cooler if he had a doobie.”
“Although I do see myself as a positive male role model for all the kids in this town, a father figure if you will,” he added.
“Which is kind of ironic really because I actually have a couple of kids who I never see or pay child support to,” he continued. “I guess that’s just part of the price I pay for being so damn cool and livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N,” he abbreviated humorously. “I’ll probably play a more active role in their lives when they’re around thirteen, and they’re old enough to smoke pot and drink. I guess I’ll be the coolest dad in Clarksville then too.”
“All I had to do was buy a twenty dollar bag of weed from him and I was instantly cooler.”
“He also told me that if I managed to convince some of the other freshman to buy weed he’d teach me all about being cool and getting chicks,” continued Mitch while rubbing the tip of his nose. “He’s such a great guy I really hope I grow up to be super cool just like him one day.”
Mess though. Ironically one of the bits you didn't bold made me laugh the most.
