It's from The Daily Currant, so...
It's a fun read anyway
Quote:
Ukraine is planning to march large numbers of gay men into Crimea in hopes of scaring off Russian soldiers currently occupying the territory.
According to local reports this “gay army” will be unarmed and its mission will be to act as flamboyantly homosexual as possible, causing the deeply prejudiced occupying force to flee back to its homeland.
Quote:
“Ukraine is a small country. We don’t have a lot of tanks or battleships. And we stupidly gave up our nuclear weapons in the 1990s. But we still have plenty of gays, and if there’s one thing Russians fear more than atomic warfare it’s explicit displays of homosexuality.
Quote:
Recruitment for the campaign has reportedly been strong, with nearly half of Kiev's gay male community signed up for the patriotic task of retaking Crimea.
“It’s not worth it. I’m leaving," says one soldier. "I can take bullets. I can take bombs. But if Ukraine sends any gay people my way I’m going home. I didn't sign up for this ****."
Quote:
"My partner and I are marching together and we're bringing the full set of butt plugs. I can't wait."
