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News: Canadians DRAG the Republicans; Aussies too
Member Since: 2/16/2012
Posts: 8,740
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Canadians DRAG the Republicans; Aussies too
@genevievelyons: Dear Americans threatening to move to Canada: Canada is a liberal country with universal healthcare... #awkward
@fwong: Republicans claiming they will move to Canada if Obama wins don't seem to understand Canadian politics...
@peterflom: Some Republicans are saying if Obama wins, they'll move to Canada. Hmm. They like limited government. They should go to Somalia.
Quote:
An open letter to American Republicans
So, your boy Mittens lost. That’s rough. I know how that is. In Canada, our President is called a Prime Minister, and last election we voted in Stephen Harper, who I did not vote for, on account of he is a dumbass and looks like a sex offender. Sometimes he tries to turn back the human rights clock, but we all shout #NOPE (in Canada we speak in hashtags). He also has LEGO man hair and I hate it.
I’ve noticed a lot of you hitting up social media, voicing your intentions to move to Canada.
Don’t do that. We don’t want your bigoted ass here, and, frankly, you’re just going to whine about everything.
You see, the things that make Canada so awesome aren’t our superior Heinz ketchup recipe, poutine, and our aversion to light beers (seriously, I don’t know how you drink that ****); it’s our policies. And many of those policies are the same ones you want to avoid having put into place in America. Basically, you’re going to hate Canada for the same reasons we love it so much. Check it.
But I ain’t want no universal healthcare!
Suck it up, buttercup, you’re getting it either way. You can either have the PPACA (Obamacare), or you can have the more awesome, more universal version called OHIP (for the sake of argument, I’m assuming you’re coming to Ontario, although your racism might fit in better in Alberta, homie. Doesn’t matter where you go, your ass is getting healthcare if you become a citizen of Canada).
I ain’t want no gay marriage either.
Bitch, we haven’t even had a discussion about that since 2005. We Canadians love us some same-sex marriage (and, you know, equality in general).
Abortions, though!
Yeah, ‘cause those are totally illegal up here. Oh wait, not since 1988, asshat.
Well what’s immigration like in Canada?
Doors are open, man. I mean, not to you, obviously, on account of we don’t like racists, but to other people. Totally.
But at least Canada has low-ass taxes, right?
Wrong, mother****er! How do you think we pay for our dope-ass healthcare and social programs?
Can…can I bring my guns?
Nah, bitch. Nah.
So as you can see, Americans, you’re going to hate it here. Sure, we’re nice, but we’re tolerating none of that Ten-Commandments-In-A-Courthouse ********, nor your homophobic-ass Chick-fil-A debacles. There’s no praying in school. There’s no pledge of allegiance. Oh, and we’ve officially got two languages, nationwide, so there’s none of your “This is America, and in America we speak English” **** either. If we’re being fair, though, your national anthem is infinitely more badass than ours.
If none of these things have stopped you from wanting to move to Canada, head on up. We’ve got heaps of room in northern Ontario where you can set up shop and pay your new, super high taxes for our social programs. Everybody lives in the southern part of Canada anyway. Just leave your guns and racist-ass opinions at home.
As for the democrats, yo, swing on up for a visit. Or move here. Whatever. You can even live somewhere cool like Toronto or Vancouver, though I won’t lie, Toronto gets cold as ****. If you hit up Toronto let me know and we’ll grab a poutine from Poutinis or Smoke’s and you can weigh in on the long-running debate about which is better (which is what we argue about in all the time we saved by resolving same-sex marriage and abortion). It’ll be great.
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http://bretgs.tumblr.com/post/352084...an-republicans
They want nothing to do with the Republicans.  where are they gonna move to?
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Banned
Member Since: 6/25/2011
Posts: 37,192
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That's what amuses me about this. When liberal people say it, it makes sense since most of the world is more liberal/pro Obama.
The American Christian right is only going to get more and more irrelevant. 
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Member Since: 2/16/2012
Posts: 8,740
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jameson Teqkilla
That's what amuses me about this. When liberal people say it, it makes sense since most of the world is more liberal/pro Obama.
The American Christian right is only going to get more and more irrelevant. |
!!
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Member Since: 1/6/2012
Posts: 12,011
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I've heard of Canada, but I've never heard Republicans say they would move to Australia 
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Member Since: 2/16/2012
Posts: 8,740
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Quote:
Originally posted by Devon
I've heard of Canada, but I've never heard Republicans say they would move to Australia |
I saw a ton of it. People were just pulling countries out of a hat.
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Member Since: 8/19/2006
Posts: 6,475
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Quote:
Originally posted by RastaMentality
I saw a ton of it. People were just pulling countries out of a hat.
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Specifically English-speaking countries, because, you know, most of the people who are ignorant enough to make comments like these also probably don't know how to speak another language... 
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Member Since: 10/16/2005
Posts: 16,872
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Maybe Republicans intrinsically want bagged milk. 
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Member Since: 12/21/2010
Posts: 51,088
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Honestly, if GOPs want to move somewhere that fits in with their views, it's probably going to be Saudi Arabia.
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Member Since: 4/24/2011
Posts: 17,221
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If I would live in Canada. I'd live in Quebec.
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Member Since: 4/24/2011
Posts: 17,221
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Quote:
Originally posted by BoyOnBoy Wonder
Honestly, if GOPs want to move somewhere that fits in with their views, it's probably going to be Saudi Arabia.
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They would love it here, too.
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Member Since: 5/13/2011
Posts: 10,910
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They should also keep in mind to adopt "colour", "flavour", "realise", "centre", etc. when moved in Australia.
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Member Since: 5/19/2012
Posts: 5,843
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Quote:
Originally posted by Georges
If I would live in Canada. I'd live in Quebec.
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That's curious, I live in Quebec myself.
Why would you move here of all places, besides the fact that Montreal is the ****.
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Member Since: 2/16/2012
Posts: 8,740
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hollywood
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The point is how republicans want to leave the USA for Canada and they have the some of the things Obama wants. Did you not read the OP? 
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Member Since: 9/11/2010
Posts: 14,221
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Member Since: 11/18/2010
Posts: 33,622
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Quote:
Originally posted by RastaMentality
The point is how republicans want to leave the USA for Canada and they have the some of the things Obama wants. Did you not read the OP? |
Yeah, posted that in the wrong place. 
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Member Since: 1/3/2010
Posts: 21,098
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Quote:
Originally posted by dperkins
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What video is that from?
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Member Since: 4/24/2011
Posts: 17,221
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gabriel
That's curious, I live in Quebec myself.
Why would you move here of all places, besides the fact that Montreal is the ****.
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Montreal really. And the fact that people there speak french,
But I will probably never go to canada,
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Member Since: 9/11/2010
Posts: 14,221
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Quote:
Originally posted by Midnight
What video is that from?
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P!nk's "Try" video.
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
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I actually kinda wish I lived in Canada. By habit of speaking to non-Americans over the internet, I have used U in words like color and the s where z would be in words like realize. Also, they seem way more tolerant up there. Though I would REALLY like to live in the UK. They have all that + I  their Billboard charts. Songs I like are hits over there, but flop here. 
But I am not a Republican so I won't be moving just because Obama won. :3
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Banned
Member Since: 2/6/2012
Posts: 18,398
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Us Canadians know what's up.  Like I've said before, Canada's "right wing" party is more liberal than America's left wing. Canada is a great example of how universal health care, abortions, gay rights, and higher taxes for better social services won't bring a country into oblivion. Same with a **** load of other countries like Australia and the Scandinavian countries.
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This is random, but has anybody else ever seen or heard American's (the dumb ones) calling Canada socialist/communist? 
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